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My kids (all ages) always listen to me, AMA
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bigsis144




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:11 pm
Wish I could make this thread disappear from my imamother dashboard (not everyone’s home screen - just mine).... every time I scroll past the thread title I feel a visceral stress/anger/depression rising in my chest.

I. Try. So. Hard.
I. Fail. So. Much.
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gingertop




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:13 pm
BigSis, hugs. I think every parent relates to your feeling. I get a sense that the op of this thread is trolling. Maybe I'm wrong and she has a- energy to sing camp songs 24/7 b- kids who don't get annoyed af from that.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:13 pm
amother wrote:
Think about the times that others may struggle with, say morning rush hour. I've turned this into fun time. We wake up to a cheer-song. There's always a surprise waiting at the breakfast table. Of course they're excited to get up...

Or clearing away toys. We make it a game.

The older ones are proud of who they are and are happy to live with the values we instilled in them.

You're right. I cannot take credit. Total SD. I do put in a lot of work though. Years ago, I used to keep a chart of every time I yelled...

You sound like an amazing mother. But I have seen mothers do exactly the same and they had very difficult and misbehaved children. So of course part of it is your hard work but the other part is special syatta d'shmaya. HaShem gave you a gift and you are truly lucky.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:13 pm
How do you deal with a child who says no they won't? Or your kids never say no
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karat




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:14 pm
Can your dh say the same? Do they always listen to him?
Are they this obedient in school?
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:14 pm
bigsis144 wrote:
Wish I could make this thread disappear from my imamother dashboard (not everyone’s home screen - just mine).... every time I scroll past the thread title I feel a visceral stress/anger/depression rising in my chest.

I. Try. So. Hard.
I. Fail. So. Much.

You. Are. Not. Alone.
We. Feel. It. Too.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:17 pm
SuperWify wrote:
Very hard to believe!

How do you get your toddler to listen to you- stop throwing his food all over, stop throwing tantrums in front of the pantry a treat, share his toys nicely, clean up ect.

You say, “toddler no noshie or baba or whatever now.” And he’s cool without it?


How do you get your school age child to do homework with nary a complaint and you’re teenager to get off the phone and go to sleep at a normal hour??


I don't speak like that to kids of any age. I talk to them maturely and respectfully always. If my toddler would throw a tantrum in a store, I would take their hand and walk out. We would then role-play appropriate behaviour. Each time before we go out, I would ask them to remind me how we have to behave.

I help my children with their homework or they do it with a friend. I first make sure they've eaten and rested a little.

My teenagers are the easiest. I have a great relationship with them. I sometimes share with them my chinuch thought-processes.

They all know I love them. And I take chinuch serious. I have had my child of seven write me a card "you are the best mummy. Thanks for the cookies... and best of all for giving chinuch!"
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:18 pm
amother wrote:
I NEVER shout. When they're young, I bend down to them and speak to them softly. My kids aren't scared of me.


My mother never raised her voice to me either. I used to think she didn’t love me because all the other mothers shouted at their kids. NEVER shouting isn’t necessarily good parenting.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:23 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
You. Are. Not. Alone.
We. Feel. It. Too.


I feel this is doing more harm than good.
It is not my intention to aggravate others...
Please report and have this thread 'disappear'. I have no idea how to.
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giselle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:23 pm
I think it’s great that your kids listen and that you work hard to set a loving tone, but this sounds a bit utopic to me.

And I’m saying this as a calm mother who almost never yells.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:24 pm
bigsis144 wrote:
Wish I could make this thread disappear from my imamother dashboard (not everyone’s home screen - just mine).... every time I scroll past the thread title I feel a visceral stress/anger/depression rising in my chest.

I. Try. So. Hard.
I. Fail. So. Much.


OP, nobody likes a bragger. I know your intention was to help others, but judging by responses here, I think you are doing more harm than good.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:28 pm
amother wrote:
OP, nobody likes a bragger. I know your intention was to help others, but judging by responses here, I think you are doing more harm than good.


You're right wheat. Definitely not my intention, which is why I went anonymous. I won't be responding to this to thread any longer. Apologies to those I upset. Also, I've reached this after decades of work in my parenting. My early years were far from this...
Goodbye everyone.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:31 pm
amother wrote:
OP, nobody likes a bragger. I know your intention was to help others, but judging by responses here, I think you are doing more harm than good.

She's entitled to brag just like a wealthy woman could brag.
I opened the thread thinking the OP has some unique and new way of parenting that I've never heard of before that produces miracle children...
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Rachel Shira




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:31 pm
Is it possible that your kids are normal and sometimes don’t listen right away but you respond calmly and kindly and it doesn’t bother you so much because you know how to handle it well? For example you wrote what you would do if your toddler threw a tantrum. To me, throwing a tantrum falls under the category of not listening.
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:33 pm
Um this is an AMA thread.

Don't ask questions if you don't like the answers.

Some kids are just super well behaved. Combine that with a calm mother with good parenting skills and yeah why shouldn't her kids listen?

It's rare and not very realistic but I imagine it exists once in a blue moon.

Later. Gotta go and yell at one of my kids for hitting his sister.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:34 pm
Rachel Shira wrote:
Is it possible that your kids are normal and sometimes don’t listen right away but you respond calmly and kindly and it doesn’t bother you so much because you know how to handle it well? For example you wrote what you would do if your toddler threw a tantrum. To me, throwing a tantrum falls under the category of not listening.


Oh, of course that is what I meant. They're kids, not robots. And when I respond kindly and calmly, they listen. Perhaps I should change the title to 'kids almost always listen'. The main thing is the positive atmosphere at home.
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:36 pm
Don’t leave so quickly.
Can you tell is how you are preparing your kids for the real world?
Where not everyone talks nicely and their aren’t always surprises for breakfast. Sometimes you just have to.
Do you feel like your kids have space to develop their individuality and opinions or they just live in utopia?
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ccwife




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:38 pm
Do you and your husband have the same parenting style?
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amother
Beige


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:38 pm
Please op before this thread goes.

Can you help if the kids are already older and I was not so great as a younger parent? How would you advise me now?

For example a 12 yo with a lot of anxiety. They are hollering I'm scared about the test tomorrow. You say - it's ok. The thought of a test can be very scary. What can I do to help? Would you like me to help you prepare? Or a mug of warm cocoa?, And they say in a singsong voice "what can I do to help? I hate you mommy" and storm off slamming a door. You leave them to calm down. Later you say "I'm glad that you are feeling less anxious now. But earlier, when you were more emotional, I felt sad hearing and seeing what you said and did", and they say "shut up. Too bad. No. No. No. Stop talking I don't care".

Then what?
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Tue, Nov 06 2018, 6:39 pm
My kids all listen to me.

Then they do whatever they want anyway.

And that's a good thing. Mom isn't always right. And even if she is, kids need to rebel and explore and make their own mistakes. At least once they're in the double digits.
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