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Giving a name you dislike

 
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SmartWife









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 9:39 am
I would like to hear if anyone named a child with a name that they dont like.
Did the name grow on you over time?
Do you still regret your decision?
Looking back do you think you made the right decision?


Last edited by SmartWife on Wed, Nov 07 2018, 9:42 am; edited 1 time in total
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ShineBright!









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 9:40 am
following.... been wondering and thinking about this too
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simba









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 9:44 am
I dont love my eldest sons name. I actually pretty much dislike it. My DH's grandfather passed away a few months before he was born and it was very meaningful for dh.
I wouldn't say I like the name anymore now then I did then but it does not make a difference in my life. He is my son and I love him. His name does not bother me at all. Somehow it became normal and not irksome.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 9:46 am
I would not give my child a name I dont like.
I've heard that a mom must like the name of a child & you shouldn't give a child a name you dislike.
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amother




Indigo


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 9:47 am
I gave a name that I dislike. My husband and I did not agree about names. I had given in on him giving his family names for all our children except my first. He asked a rabbi who he grew up with who gave a certain answer and then my husband felt like he couldn't go against it. So he turned it into a "listening to the rav" kind of religion thing. I was after birth, there were some minor complications with the baby that needed monitoring and it was already getting late and there was no name. So I just gave in and "chose" between 2 names that I did not like. Yes, I regret it tremendously. I am still resentful and this child is quite difficult. I have a difficult marriage and I understand why it happened and the circumstances that led to it. I accept it as "meant to be" but it is another example of an incident in my marriage that is painful, difficult to accept, and indicative of the person I live with.
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nchr









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 10:11 am
Yes, I've given a name I did not particular like and while I'll never like the sound of it, I like the meaning and have respect for the person my son is named after so I'm happy with the decision.
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amother




Blush


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 10:31 am
My son is named after my husband's grandfather, and I hadn't been particularly thrilled with the name. But I didn't have a serious aversion to the name, and we didn't have another name to use, so my husband thought we should use it. The name really has grown on me a lot. Now it's connected to my son, who I love, so in a way I like the name, too. If you really hate a name, that may be a different story. But if it's tolerable but not your favorite, you'll likely find yourself liking it more with time.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 10:47 am
I did give my son a name that I don't love and we call him by that name. I would not have chosen this name if it was not named after someone. I am very into naming after people so that helped my decision. To put it in context, it is a pretty regular name so others might not dislike it, but I personally don't like it. Two other family members named after the same grandfather but added a second name and call their son by the second name (so I guess it is not only me). I am not sure I would have named if I really really hated the name.

Years later - my son is in his teens and I don't ever think about the fact that I don't love his name. I don't see his name as a name anymore - I see it as him. I am not sure if I am explaining that clearly.
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 1:46 pm
Interesting, I've been thinking about this lately as well. We named my baby after my husband's grandmother who I didn't get to know that well before she passed away, as she was ill and not herself. But the stories about her are really mind boggling, she was a rare tzadeikes of this world and I wanted my daughter to inherit these traits. The name is not a bad name I just didn't particularly like it, so we added another "prettier" name that means the same thing. But guess what, we don't even call her by that second name. We ended up just calling her by the original name because there is koach in the name. The name really grew on me, especially now because my daughter has it. And I'm very proud of who she is named after.

Yet on the flip side, I am torn about what I will do when I have a girl next iy"h. I really want to name after my great grandmother who I had a close relationship with and knew well, but her name is a VERY unheard of name, very Hungarian. A lot of the grandchildren have been named after her already and many are going by the name. As someone who grew up with a different name that I got teased for, I'm reluctant to do that to my child. But I really want to name for my grandmother.. I guess we'll see then, Gd wiling.
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amother




Navy


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 1:58 pm
amother wrote:
My son is named after my husband's grandfather, and I hadn't been particularly thrilled with the name. But I didn't have a serious aversion to the name, and we didn't have another name to use, so my husband thought we should use it. The name really has grown on me a lot. Now it's connected to my son, who I love, so in a way I like the name, too. If you really hate a name, that may be a different story. But if it's tolerable but not your favorite, you'll likely find yourself liking it more with time.


Exactly this!

My son is also named for DH's grandfather. It's a double name and our intention was to call him by his middle name which is easier to say (we don't give secular names). Somehow that didn't stick and everyone from our older kids to our parents and relatives to our friends were using the baby's first name. I don't love it but it's growing on me and now using the middle name sounds weird. I think it was just meant to be.
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heidi









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 2:36 pm
nchr wrote:
Yes, I've given a name I did not particular like and while I'll never like the sound of it, I like the meaning and have respect for the person my son is named after so I'm happy with the decision.

This.
I named my son after my grandfather.
It's a very typical, not at all weird name, I just don't happen to like it. And I don't even like any of the nicknames associated with it.
But my grandfather was a very special person. A talmid chacham, a businessman, a family man and a mentch.
I loved and respected him and wanted very much to name a child after him.
Honestly, I still don't love the name.
But I love my son to pieces.
And as he grows I see things about my grandfather in his personality and acomplishments.
If I could do it again I would do the same thing.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 3:06 pm
I would never give my child a name I dislike. That being said, I’m torn about my dgc. I didn’t care for any of my mom’s names—English, Yiddish or Hebrew—but woulld feel bad if none of my children named a dc after her. I’m gonna try to research the meanings of her names and maybe find something to suggest that means the same but sounds nicer (if my kids ask.) Or if one of my dc uses the same name, I hope it might grow on me.
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amother




Mint


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 4:02 pm
Not me, but my friend was just telling me how shes still upset with the name she gave her daughter. Its a regular name but she just didnt like it. She had a hard time (she was naming after a relative) and asked a Rav what to do, and he encouraged her to go for it because she'd grow to like it and it was after a special person
Years later she says it still bothers her.
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amother




Lime


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 5:31 pm
I may have this problem in the future. Dh lost a parent at as a child. The parent had a Yiddish name and I hate Yiddish names. So far we haven't had the issue come up because we have all the same gender. If we ever have a child of the other gender, I know Dh is going to want to name after his parent. He's been waiting so long already, and wants to use the exact name, not a Hebrew equivalent. I can't and I won't deny him that. Obviously there's a possibility that I might never have the other gender, but if I ever do, the name is a foregone conclusion.
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ra_mom









  


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 6:47 pm
Dh and I both had grandparents who's names we don't like (I don't like one of his - not used to it coming from my family, and he doesn't like one of mine - also not used to it from his family) and though we each loved our grandparent, we realize that we will not name after as long as the other still has any aversion to the name.
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amother




Maroon


Post  Wed, Nov 07 2018, 7:12 pm
By boy #4 it was time to give the name that I didn't want for my husband's grandfather who he never knew because he lived in a different country. Anyway, I didn't want to give the name plain by itself. A big gadol had 2 names and the first is the same name. So we gave the 2 names. It took me months to figure out what to call him. We really call him by second name/nickname. Both names together don't bother me as much. I actually like it. Also my husband and I were on the same page. He is a yummy boy that gets into mischief. Also my father in law is very stubborn and this was his father, by naming after a gadol, I felt better. The name grew on me...definitely happy I didn't give the name alone. Glad it worked this time. I had boys since my grandmother passed away. My daughter is nervous for me to have a girl one day give the name. 2 siblings gave the name. Very yummy children. 1 added a second name. I think her husband disliked it. Shalom bayis definitely in the picture here
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amother




cornflower


Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 3:49 am
I named after my father, really didn't like either of his names so changed them both to other names with the same meaning. Only got one comment from a rebbitzen "Really, you didn't even call him xyz?!" AT THE BRIS. OUT LOUD. Crying

This baby is only a few months old and I sort of regret not naming him exactly, just because everyone asks about who he is names after an I have to explain and feel selfish/guilty for not naming him exactly. But I don't think I'd ever get used to that original name, so that's what I did. And his name suits him.
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