Would you let your kid's stay at a sibling's who spanks?

My4Jewels

Sun, Nov 11 2018, 12:10 pm

nchr wrote:

My husband and I have never hit our child, so not sure why a poster would say she hopes he runs away. Also, the teacher would not be thrown in jail, as corporal punishment is allowable in NY private schools legally..... People, calm down. You need to save the charges for real abuse.

She is saying that because she hopes he runs away so he doesn’t get abused at school. And that you as his parents won’t protect him!!

What is wrong with some people??

God please help this innocent children sitting in these schools waiting to be smacked and abused while these idiot parents just watch and say it’s ok.

I just cannot understand

amother

Navy

Sun, Nov 11 2018, 12:24 pm

When I was in lower elementary I was playing at a friend's house and the father took off his belt, took her brother pulled down his pants & underpants put him over his lap and hit him with the belt a bunch of times, I have this image still clear in my brain decades later. Although I can't say traumatic but deep shock til today.

Another home I used to play by the mother used to scream , like really scream and hit wit her hand on kids behinds, that used to find extremely upsetting and terrifying. That made me want to run home right away.

It's hhard to say a child's reaction.

gold21

Sun, Nov 11 2018, 12:35 pm

Oy....

Why are all the most terrible awful scenarios of horrifying child abuse coming up on a thread about OP's sister in law who may occasionally potch?

I'm sorry, but I find these awful stories out of place on a thread about a functional loving home that uses a form of discipline that you (and I) may not agree with. We can discuss the reasons that potching are not okay (like one poster mentioned, using your hands while telling children not to use their hands is a mixed message), but what's up with the stories of abuse? How do they correlate to the OP?

gold21

Sun, Nov 11 2018, 12:41 pm

I agree that any form of potching in yeshiva is UNACCEPTABLE .... Traumatic and terrible.

Hitting a first grader with a ruler for what? Not sitting straight? NO. Just no.

I've heard stories from my father, uncles, etc, about what went in yeshivas back in the 1970s. Hey, the little boys become men IY"H,
and the men remember, many years later. Just not okay.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Nov 11 2018, 1:36 pm

gold21 wrote:

Actually I think it’s quite related, and that’s really the point..
Who draws the lines and makes the rules? What you call a mere “potch” may be considered violent abuse by other parents. And I’m sure the (deranged) father who someone here mentioned took down his poor child’s underwear(!!!!!) for a belting didn’t think that was abuse, and was probably the way he was brought up by his parents.
The same goes for the hard over the knee spankings that I’ve witnessed as a child from my mother and aunts. This was how they were brought up so of course they thought it wasn’t abuse. But many here would call social services if they would see that today.
So who knows what ops sister in law calls “normal” potching or spanking.
Conclusion- just don’t use your hands at all, and there won’t be any gray areas!!

gold21

Sun, Nov 11 2018, 2:09 pm

amother wrote:

I disagree.

I agree with you that it's best to avoid physical discipline altogether but an occasional potch is not physical abuse and physical abuse is not an occasional potch.

Here's one rule of thumb- anytime a belt is involved, it isn't a potch anymore- it's physical abuse.

I feel it's a disservice to those who suffered through real dysfunction & abuse to compare their situations to stable home environments which employ discipline methods we may not approve of.