No aliyah for father at son’s BM?

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Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 12:51 am
Hi everyone? We are planning our first bar mitzvah and I want to know how weird it is for the father of the BM boy not to have an aliyah?

DH wants to give it to his brother. I told him no, that is weird. He should be there on the human while our son reads torah.

Is that weird or what? We are MO but I didn’t grow up frum so please tell me what you think and also let me know what community you are in. Thank you!!!!
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Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 12:56 am
There are seven Aliyah.. Give his brother a different one. The only rule is that a father and son cannot follow one another.
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Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 1:02 am
I agree - there are 7 aliyot, your shul may not give you all of them, but you should be entitled to a few. The bar mitzvah boy generally gets maftir (the last one).
Most fathers in my community (DL/MO) stand next to their son the whole time, as well. So your husband can be on the bimah while your son is reading the Torah.
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Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 6:38 am
Agreed that the father can be on the bimah the whole time.

This type of situation can happen if the family are kohanim or leviim. Then the father usually gets kohein or levi and the boy gets maftir. Actually, often the father gets no aliyah because the grandfather on that side gets it. So if this is the case, you do have a question, and I would say this:

I don't know the family situation, but if there is no specific reason for not having the father, I would give the brother hagbah or gelilah and them give him kohein or levi during minchah. And if he wants his brother up on the bimah with him too, he can do that. I am JPF/yeshivish (where they meet).
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Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 6:55 am
Recently when DH wanted an aliya but couldn't get one, he arranged to get one at Mincha instead of Shacharis. So that's an idea.
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Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 11:47 am
Thanks everyone! I texted with DH’s brothers and one wants to do hagba, and insisted that DH take the aliyah, so now DH agreed. It’s hard to get everyone in with the brothers and father son rule...
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Post  Thu, Nov 08 2018, 5:41 pm
When the father and son are kohanim or leviim there are only two possible aliyos and if theres also a grandfather or rav whose also it can be complicated!
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