Adding to a name or changing??

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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names

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amother

Vermilion

Thu, Nov 08 2018, 9:22 am

We want to name after a relative who passed away at a young age ( like middle age) not sure if we need to add a name or not yet we need to ask but don't want to ask till the baby is born. Between the 2 of us one says use the first name with a different middle and one says just add another name to the name. But come the fact that one feels that's too many names should the person who's relative it is get the final say or do you need to think it's too many names.

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 08 2018, 9:24 am

You could ask a shaila. I was told a parent you do not add, other you add if under 52 iirc

amother

Denim

Thu, Nov 08 2018, 9:38 am

1. Why don't you want to ask until the baby is born? You don't have to say "We are having [gender]." Just say we have this relative who passed away at this age and if we have this gender, should we add a name?

2. If you think that either you or DH should have the final say, then why are you asking a shaila?

3. I was named for someone who had 2 names and died quite young in the Holocaust. My parents added a third name. I know over a dozen people with 3 names. It's fine.

amother

Purple

Thu, Nov 08 2018, 9:56 am

My grandmother was niftar at a relatively young age from yenna machla. The first person of my generation who named for her asked a shaila and was told to add a name. We didn't ask ourselves but we also added a middle name. We gave one that had meaning, not just one we liked. It also makes it easier to identify which child we're talking about because there are a few girls in the family named after the same grandmother but they all have different middle names.

Are 3 names unusual in your circles? If so, then definitely ask a shaila, but I wouldn't give 3 names. If it's not unusual then why not?

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Nov 08 2018, 4:38 pm

amother wrote:

1 if we ask at this point it will be easy to figure out what it is and we rather not
2 if it's fine to not add a name and leave as is then there's no real dilemma anymore

zaq

Thu, Nov 08 2018, 5:38 pm

Why can’t you can’t ask a generic Sheila. No need to say “if we have a girl”. Just ask “if a couple names a child after someone who died young, do they have to add to or change the name?” Your grandmother or whoever isn’t the only person in history to have died young. She’s probably not even the only person in your family’s history to have died young.

And just because you ask about a feminine name doesn’t mean you’re having a girl. Most intelligent couples choose names for both genders, just in case, even if they were told the gender based on a sonogram.

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