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American making bar mitzvah in Israel
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amother




Wine


Post  Sun, Nov 11 2018, 1:58 pm
rivkam wrote:
It's great that you're trying to do something that will fit your son. Speeches here are not very big so I would say you could get away with it. Maybe have your dh or a rabbi speak if you feel it's important to have some divrei Torah.


DH can definitely speak. I guess we’ll talk to DS and ask him what he would like to do (speech wise) but my guess is, he’ll have a short speech prepared but we’ll let him know it’s totally okay with us if last minute he chooses not to deliver it...
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Nov 11 2018, 2:44 pm
My husband has.
Kiddush at shul on bm etc, and kotel.
YOu can have a regular simcha with dances etc, or a restaurant, or whatever
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Kumphort




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Nov 11 2018, 3:06 pm
Or let your husband speak thank everyone for joining you and let your son lead bentching. That way he can participate without doing anything major and not standing in front of a lot of people etc
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Shuly




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Nov 11 2018, 3:23 pm
My friend made a bar mitzvah in Israel. They did an aliya by the kosel and rented a hall in the Old City afterward, with catering by Holy Bagel from Ramot.
Holy Bagel's number is 011-972-2-537-5516.
The father spoke, but the bar mitzvah boy did not.
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amother




Wine


Post  Fri, Sep 13 2019, 8:48 am
amother [ White ] wrote:
I have heard you can call Colel Chabad and arrange a delicious private meal for yourselves there overlooking the Kosel and pair it with a donation for matching meal later for hungry people. So beautiful special and meaningful.
I've also heard of people arranging to go to a chesed facility and pack food to give to people or to otherwise celebrate with another mitzvah..
Definitely base it around your son and his personality. Make it enjoyable and meaningful for him and all of you!

Mazel Tov!


Does anyone have any contact information for colel chabad and/or any other places that would be open to doing something like the poster above suggested?

Thanks
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amother




Gold


Post  Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:06 am
Your son is definitely getting the the better end of a bar mitzvah. Going to Israel for a bar mitzvah is a dream that I would have loved to do wit my son.
He will feel special just by being in Israel for his bar mitzvah. After that, anything is extra.
Maybe hand out gift bags with a drink, snack, pastry on the way to the kosel.
Stop off at a cafe when you are done.
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DrMom




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:23 am
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
I have absolutely no interest in doing something that will make my son uncomfortable.

However, he will ALSO be uncomfortable if we do something that’s radically different than everyone else does (hence us not just staying home and not having a kiddush etc, it’s just not “done” in my circles for the most part and us doing that would call attention to him in a way he is not comfortable with).

That’s why I’m trying to figure out what is the “bare minimum” (party wise) that I can get away with if we go to Israel and he can still feel like a “typical” bar mitzvah in Israel bar mitzvah boy (he knows other kids who have gone to Israel for their bar mitzvah so that doesn’t seem strange to him even though it’s not what his brothers did).

Any estimates on cost and/or other insights?

If it's critical to do exactly "what is done" in your circles, then ask someone in our circles what they do.

If you ask a bunch of random Jewish ladies from all different communities, you will get a wide range of answers, which it seems is not what you want.
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amother




Brunette


Post  Fri, Sep 13 2019, 9:25 am
I would highly recommend during the bar mitzvah in Chevron at Mearat HaMachpela
https://www.hebronfund.org/tou.....w_wcb

I did it a number of years ago for my son. They arranged a bus leaving from a convenient location in Yetushalayim, provided a seudah there, in addition to a great your. Everyone loved it.
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amother




Apricot


Post  Fri, Sep 13 2019, 10:56 am
We considered a bar mitzva in Israel for my son for similar reasons. In the worst way, he did not want to lein or have an Aliyah or a Shabbos Kiddush and 25 hour celebration.

I was OK with doing something different but my DH (and to be fair we live near all of his siblings who all do the SAME thing) was a bit uncomfortable. In the end, their was an illness in the family and those plans for Israel never came to fruition.

But we did decide (with much prodding from me! ha!) to respect my son's wishes and be different. He had a weekday Aliyah at a small minyan near our home full of working men early in the morning. Not our regular shul. My children and I were the only women/children. Not even grandparents, not our rav, no teachers or principals. We brought some cake, the minyan members shook his hand, wished him well, clapped him on the back and ran off to work. It was perfect.

We had a weekday affair with relatives and his friends and my son spoke briefly. It was only a few hours so it was manageable for him and lovely for us.

Afterward it was almost funny! We got SOO many comments from men who said they wished their parents did something low key like that, or that their parents did that too and it was so great for them. It really cemented our relationship with our son in a very special way.

And go believe, our next son says he wants a BIG PARTY for his bar mitzva!!

So basically, good for you for respecting your child where he is at.
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