Bais Yaakov of Queens vs. Bnos Malka

amother

Peach

Fri, Nov 16 2018, 11:44 am

Probably bais yaakov. They do say the hanhala bnos malka is warner though. Were most likely not staying in queens so long so I'd rather a more mainstream school (the teachers are good I'm told) where I'm comfortable with the families hashkafos. But I didnt do real research yet so I'm not too helpful.

Also supposedly bnos malka is better for weaker students....my baby can't talk yet but if she needs more intervention in upk Id probably do bnos malka.

amother

Violet

Fri, Nov 16 2018, 12:22 pm

We applied to both schools and decided on Bnos Malka. The hanhala and teachers are all so warm and caring. The menahel knows each child by name, and which parents go to which child. All the staff is approachable and the girls know they can go to them with any issues. Recently my daughter was having an issue on the bus with another girl and she felt totally comfortable going to him and discussing it and she's only 8! I remember being terrified of the administration when I was that age!. They are also very patient and willing to work with the family when there are any learning issues or behavior issues. While supposedly the academics are supposed to be stronger at BY I'm not sure if that's really true. I think the academics at Bnos Malka are fine, they just don't put the same pressure on the girls. The weaker students don't walk away feeling stressed and dumb because they can't keep up. Like in any school some of the teachers are AMAZING and some are just teachers (not great but not bad, so far we have never had an experience of any of our girls have a bad teacher). Bnos Malka does have a more diverse crowd, but that's one of the things we actually liked about the school and one of the reasons we chose it. My husband is a musmach of chofetz chaim so it's not like we lean more to the modern side, just so you have a baseline for my perspective (in other words we didn't choose it because we are more modern and wanted our kids to be in a more mixed crowd). We like how our girls are able to see and learn to accept that yedishkeit can be observed at different levels and the fact that some girls wear short sleeves or a friend's mother doesn't cover her hair doesn't make her less jewish or frum. Bnos Malka also puts a lot of emphasis on good middos and are also having programs to help the girls learn on focus on different middos. It's a really really big focus of the school, which I love since at the end of the day a girl with positive middos is a better girl than the one who memorized 500 rashis and is able to read and translate all the meforshim in a mekroas gedolos chumash. As of now we have 4 girls in the school and we couldn't be happier. I definitely would highly recommend it. If you have any specific questions I'm happy to answer them.

amother

Violet

Fri, Nov 16 2018, 12:26 pm

amother wrote:

We didn't think we were staying in Queens long term either but we now have 4 kids in the school and are still here. So don't pick a school based on the fact that you plan to move, in case you end up staying. Pick the one that is best for you and your child at this time. On a separate note, Bnos Malka is considered a regular mainstream Bais Yaakov school. Plus if you plan to move OOT Bnos Malka might actually make a transition easier since they have a more diverse crowd, more similar to what you might find in and OOT school.

amother

Peach

Fri, Nov 16 2018, 1:22 pm

amother wrote:

Good point. Our mindset is a little stuck in that of course the second my husband gets semicha were out of here.

I find the girls there to be a little harder (not usually yeshiva ppl). Do your girls get influenced behavior wise?

amother

Violet

Fri, Nov 16 2018, 1:55 pm

amother wrote:

LOL, we had the same attitude and yet 7 years later we're still here. Not sure what you mean by harder. In terms of behavior I think you're going to find kids with behavior issues in all schools. None of my kids have been in a class where there's been a girl with a behavior issue that was bad enough for me to hear about it and/or affect the class. In fact 1 of my girls is probably one of the harder ones in her grade embarrassed

and we're just a regular plain yeshiva family so I don't think where the girls come from is a cause of negative behaviors. Plus the school is so patient and handles these issues very well (and don't leave you feeling like you're a bad parent just because you're child is acting out). So as far as being influenced by behaviors, no I would say they have not been.
If you mean hashkafikly, so far B"H, this has not been an issue so far (and with hashem's help hopefully it never will be). Yes my girls have asked why they have to wear long sleeves/knee socks when other girls in their class don't and I explain that different families do things different ways and this is how our family does it (for this and other hashkafa type things that come up). My kids are still pretty young (oldest nearly 10) so it's possible more issues will come up as they get older, but there's no guarantee of your kids not being influenced no matter where they go to school (I grew up in Lakewood and even there there were girls hanging out with boys etc.). In all of my interactions with other parents they have always been super respectful of differing hashkafas (ie. watching movies etc.) and have never had an issue where we felt a parent didn't respect our wishes.

amother

Peach

Sat, Nov 17 2018, 5:44 pm

amother wrote:

I was basing it off experiences people had subbing which is completely baseless, lashon hora, and probably motzai shem ra. Besides the fact that I never actually did research so who am I to talk?

OP, disregard what I said please. I know amazing girls from both places. Who knows maybe our kids will be classmates in either school Wink