DD always thinks the grass is greener on the other side

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Nov 11 2018, 10:06 pm

Dd is 8 years old. So sweet and yummy, but she seems to always think everyone else is luckier than her. She is my oldest and I try to give her the world. I have quality time with her, I try to cook her favorite suppers etc and I know she gets excited but she hardly acknowledges it. On the other hand, when she sees someone else having something (even if she had the same thing that day) she'll always say how lucky they are. I bend over backwards to make her happy and I dont seem to succeed. in no way is she an unhappy child, but she always gives me that feeling.
I know she is a child and she can outgrow it. But I'm really nervous, since I have two sisters in law who are grown and married, and older than me and they always seem to be looking at what everyone else has. they are never happy. I'm so nervous my daughter shouldnt take after them. I want her to grow into a happy healthy adult.
Any advice? how can I channel her behavior in the right direction?
TIA

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 11:00 am

Op here
Thanks. But I dont find that being an example is enough... I am by nature a happy person. And I dont fall for peer pressure. She is the opposite and I wanna address the problem. She doesnt relate to my examples as they are meaningless to her little mind. Yes ur right teaching by example is one of the most important things and am davening that she will pick it up but I wanna feel like I am actually doing something to help her

oneofakind

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 11:34 am

I would have her keep a gratefulness and maasei gevura/acts of self discline notebook. It'll give her a positive outlook and raise self esteem. Having said that, is it that you are comfortable doing your own thing, dressing to your own taste etc. and she is more concerned with fitting in? that's a little different and you may have to accommodate her a bit so she doesn't feel she sticks out like a sore thumb.

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Nov 12 2018, 11:58 am

Op here.
I like that notebook idea to put her into that positive mode
No, its not that I dont care what I look like and she wants to fit in... I make sure she fits in and I also like to fit in but I find that its important to have a healthy self and not always b bz with hat others say. For example this morning one of my neighbors kids was wearing a spring jacket. This particular kid wears a different jacket everyday according to the temperature outsie. But its cuz her mom always gives in to her... I on the other hand tell my daughter that its winter now and we wear winter jackets. If its warm then we can open the jacket but we dont wear puffers or spring jackets at this time.
My dd was all upset and bz telling me how lucky that girl is and how some girls arrive to school without a jacket altogethe... I told her: I want u to know that I make u wear a jacket cuz I care that u shudnt get sick. Its not normal to walk aeound without a jacket during this time of the year... but she was still upset