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Bariatric surgery for my 18 yr old DD
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 10:43 am
As others have posted, 45 pounds is much to low to qualify for weight loss surgery. I would not trust any medical person who recommended otherwise.

Weight loss surgery is NOT a panacea and except for the immediately one year period after the initial weight loss, most people have to DIET - I.e. eat thoughtfully and exercise - in order to maintain the weight loss.

The reality is that it is actually very easy to "out eat" the surgery because it is easier to eat and digest easily chewed stuff like simple carbs versus protein and veggies which are difficult to digest.

I have battled with weight issues all my life and my experience is that there isn't such a thing as a "big appetite" causing weight gain. It's the choice of foods in terms of caloric density. You can eat enormous quantities of chicken breast; fish; veggies and even fairly good quantities of fruit along with moderate quantities of complex carbohydrates and you will never be hungry. You can be very creative with recipes so that you are not bored by eating bland "diet" food.

Many reputable bariatric surgeons require prospective patients to actually lose a certain amount of weight prior to surgery to see if they are able to sustain dietary restrictions.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 12:02 pm
Processed food comes with various chemicals that are known to increase appetite. Just like tobacco companies intentionally put addictive substances in cigarettes to get people to buy more of their product.
If she constantly craves food this may be the cause.
Sugar and sugar substitutes- all increase food cravings.

Solution: eat minimal amount of processed food. It's garbage anyway. Make your own food. I have found eating salty and fermented foods cut down my sugar cravings.

I loved the "Full and Free by Rory" columns in Mishpacha's Family First. Perhaps you can get in touch with her?
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 12:12 pm
watergirl wrote:
The surgery wont help her with the huge appetite. She will need to control it or she sill get very sick once the surgery is done. And I echo others who said that most drs wont do the operation for 45 lbs.

That's not true. One of the msin main things the sleeve does is control your appetite.
Until DH did the surgery he was hungry 24/7 no matter how much he ate.
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 12:20 pm
Amarante wrote:
As others have posted, 45 pounds is much to low to qualify for weight loss surgery. I would not trust any medical person who recommended otherwise.

Weight loss surgery is NOT a panacea and except for the immediately one year period after the initial weight loss, most people have to DIET - I.e. eat thoughtfully and exercise - in order to maintain the weight loss.

The reality is that it is actually very easy to "out eat" the surgery because it is easier to eat and digest easily chewed stuff like simple carbs versus protein and veggies which are difficult to digest.

I have battled with weight issues all my life and my experience is that there isn't such a thing as a "big appetite" causing weight gain. It's the choice of foods in terms of caloric density. You can eat enormous quantities of chicken breast; fish; veggies and even fairly good quantities of fruit along with moderate quantities of complex carbohydrates and you will never be hungry. You can be very creative with recipes so that you are not bored by eating bland "diet" food.

Many reputable bariatric surgeons require prospective patients to actually lose a certain amount of weight prior to surgery to see if they are able to sustain dietary restrictions.


Actually it is virtually impossible for morbidly obese people to keep off weight with dieting.
At a certain point they will gain weight or need lower calorie diets in order to keep off the the weight. According to research morbidly obese people can have a very low calorie intake and still lose weight.
My DH was morbidly obese he would eat everything. Cake and cookies amd salad and chicken etc. Sure not everything was super heslthy but you wouldn't believe the quantities.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 12:47 pm
I got the band to loose 45 pounds, my son got the band when he was around 20+, and my husband has the band. We have all been successful with it. However it is far from a quick fix. It took me a rather long time and hard work to loose my weight but the band helped me loose and more importantly keep it off. I have changed what I eat and how I eat. I also eat much less. I am much less interested in food. I would recommend looking into the band as opposed to a full bypass. The band is reversible and while there are stories of people having problems with it, if you work with it, by eating the right foods, and slowly, and taking the time to get to the right fill level it is extremely helpful.

DH got it first. He struggled with his weight since childhood. I was very against it at first and saw it as a crutch and a sign of weakness. Like why can't we just shut our mouths and eat right. But when we went to see the Doctor he told us that he had a band and knew the struggles. He said that if you have been struggling with this you will always struggle with it. He said that the band was not a cure but actually a tool that has to be used in conjunction with other tools. I was also hesitant about my son doing it at such young age but it turned out to be the best thing he could have done. If you have any questions you can reach out.
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silly




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 12:51 pm
I sleeved 3 yrs ago...was best thing ive done to lose weight....the recovery is hard..took me 4 to 6 weeks to get back to my koach
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 1:17 pm
chanchy123 wrote:
Actually it is virtually impossible for morbidly obese people to keep off weight with dieting.
At a certain point they will gain weight or need lower calorie diets in order to keep off the the weight. According to research morbidly obese people can have a very low calorie intake and still lose weight.
My DH was morbidly obese he would eat everything. Cake and cookies amd salad and chicken etc. Sure not everything was super heslthy but you wouldn't believe the quantities.


Forty five pounds isn't morbidly obese. It's overweight - of course BMI depends on height.

Eighteen is still young enough to internalize healthy eating habits.

What I found helpful when was working on on one with a nutritionist who I saw every week. It not only enabled me to learn ways of eating that worked for me but it also provided me with support and accountability.

I realize there are people who have had good luck with bariatric surgery. However, 45 pounds and 18 year old is not the best approach in terms of altering one's body for the rest of one's life.

Someone might not be able to be a size 2 but there are lots of healthy size 14 or even size 16. So lose 20 pounds rather than deal with the very real long term issues that do arise after bariatric surgery.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:12 pm
Is she exercising enough? My daughter is overweight and eating healthy isn't enough for her, she needs to exercise too to or she isn't able to lose weight. I mean really seriously working out, like running or swimming with your heart rate up for at least half an hour, and doing some strength exercises too, consistently.
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:38 pm
I got the band 10 years ago and it was the best thing that I ever did. I am able to tighten and loosen as I want
I think you should take her for a consult and see if she’s eligible and if her insurance will cover
As a shadchan I can tell you that a girl that is overweight will have a hard time in shidduchim
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:38 pm
My sister did it at 18 and she had a lot more to lose. It messed her up big time- she spent lots of months in agony, malnourished (without being overly skinny) etc until she had it reversed and most of her stomach removed due to damages.
She still has ongoing issues as a result.

Totally not worth it for 45 lbs.
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 3:54 pm
Amarante wrote:
Forty five pounds isn't morbidly obese. It's overweight - of course BMI depends on height.

Eighteen is still young enough to internalize healthy eating habits.

What I found helpful when was working on on one with a nutritionist who I saw every week. It not only enabled me to learn ways of eating that worked for me but it also provided me with support and accountability.

I realize there are people who have had good luck with bariatric surgery. However, 45 pounds and 18 year old is not the best approach in terms of altering one's body for the rest of one's life.

Someone might not be able to be a size 2 but there are lots of healthy size 14 or even size 16. So lose 20 pounds rather than deal with the very real long term issues that do arise after bariatric surgery.


Oh absolutely. Look back at my first post.
I was just referring to your remarks on appetite.
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OBnursemom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 4:34 pm
Just to clarify, for weight loss surgery, your daughter would need to have a BMI of 40 or 35 if she had comorbidities. Maybe she should try Medifast or another portion controlled meal replacement diet. I hear people do well with those, even if they’ve failed at everything else.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 4:41 pm
NO NO NO NO NO...

I had it done a year ago.. Only because, I was over 300 pounds, I couldn't breath , I couldn't walk..

Two weeks ago I had hip replacement surgery.

The surgery changes your life drastically. You are on liquids, for a month. You never can enjoy food or eat the same for life.

If you make a mistake , and eat the wrong thing you are nauseous and throwing up...

This isn't a surgery you undertake, if you don't have SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES...

OP... PM me if you like
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 6:37 pm
amother wrote:
I got the band 10 years ago and it was the best thing that I ever did. I am able to tighten and loosen as I want
I think you should take her for a consult and see if she’s eligible and if her insurance will cover
As a shadchan I can tell you that a girl that is overweight will have a hard time in shidduchim


With all due respect I think it’s terrible for a shadchan to tell someone overweight that they’ll have a hard time in shidduchim. If she’s put together, neat and attractive, and has trouble losing weight or a thyroid issue, why should you make her miserable that way? You’re totally ignoring the concept of a zivug thats bashert for each person. If a shadchan said that to my child or me, we’d never see you a second time.
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 7:43 pm
With all due respect back as a shadchan I see this to be the crazy reality we live in!
How many eligible bachelors that you know would say yes to dating an overweight girl-if he has no issue himself? Would your son or husband marry a girl that’s overweight? This is the world we live in today! Would love to hear from those of you who agree and disagree
Maybe it’s different in other communities
I’m in brooklyn
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nicole81




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 7:51 pm
amother wrote:
With all due respect I think it’s terrible for a shadchan to tell someone overweight that they’ll have a hard time in shidduchim. If she’s put together, neat and attractive, and has trouble losing weight or a thyroid issue, why should you make her miserable that way? You’re totally ignoring the concept of a zivug thats bashert for each person. If a shadchan said that to my child or me, we’d never see you a second time.


This is ****. I got engaged as a size 16 the first time and as a 20 the second time.

I did get bariatric surgery 4.5 years ago and lost 130 lbs, but not until after I was already with the love of my life. And I wouldn't recommend it to someone with so little to lose. I moderate a kosher bariatric group on Facebook and from what I've seen, the people who are overall the least successful are the ones who had the least to lose initially.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 7:54 pm
amother wrote:
With all due respect back as a shadchan I see this to be the crazy reality we live in!
How many eligible bachelors that you know would say yes to dating an overweight girl-if he has no issue himself? Would your son or husband marry a girl that’s overweight? This is the world we live in today! Would love to hear from those of you who agree and disagree
Maybe it’s different in other communities
I’m in brooklyn


There is something very wrong with the world we live in today. I know plenty of larger women who have married fit, skinny guys. Guess what? They love each other for who they are on the inside.

Maybe someone should be educating these boys that there's more to a lifelong partnership than a dress size.
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Sebastian




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 14 2018, 8:01 pm
I married someone overweight.

There's more to a person than how much they weigh.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 15 2018, 2:03 am
amother wrote:
With all due respect back as a shadchan I see this to be the crazy reality we live in!
How many eligible bachelors that you know would say yes to dating an overweight girl-if he has no issue himself? Would your son or husband marry a girl that’s overweight? This is the world we live in today! Would love to hear from those of you who agree and disagree
Maybe it’s different in other communities
I’m in brooklyn
Im sorry, but are you freaking kidding me?
I know many people who got married who were overweight, and I dont mean 10 pounds. I was over weight when I met my husband. It was not an issue. He liked me for me, not my fat.

What you are saying amother, is very ddetrimental. Please please please, do not tell this to girls or guys. Let the prospective chatanim and kallot decide for themselves if someone ebing over weight is an issue or not.

And what you are saying actually makes no sense because there are many wonderful people out that are over weight and happily married.
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