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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah
Is it OK to only give a card? not money or a gift?



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amother
Indigo


 

Post Mon, Nov 19 2018, 9:13 pm
We can't afford to spend any money on teacher/babysitter gifts. I am just going to write out personal cards. Is this OK? I got so many emails about parents collecting and I didn't give to any of them.
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amother
Green


 

Post Mon, Nov 19 2018, 9:14 pm
Of course it is.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 19 2018, 9:17 pm
Yes. Write something personal - thank them for something specific that they've done, and they'll be very appreciative.
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lucky14




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 19 2018, 9:42 pm
Yup! Of course!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 3:38 am
OMG it's nice already. We only do for close family
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:00 am
Ruchel wrote:
OMG it's nice already. We only do for close family

In the US, class parents collect money to give to teachers for Chanukah and Purim. Parents are expected to give. Usually a sum is suggested. The gift comes from the whole class so the teachers don’t know who gave how much or at all, but some parents choose to give individually.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:33 am
Of course it is my friend who is a teacher was telling me how some of the nicest most meaningful cards she got didn't come with any money or gift and they were so genuine and motivating,and on the other hand she's gotten really expensive gifts with no cards which made her feel so strange...
So go for it a real card means so much!
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imdl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:45 am
Completely fine. Thank you notes are so appreciated.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:47 am
amother wrote:
In the US, class parents collect money to give to teachers for Chanukah and Purim. Parents are expected to give. Usually a sum is suggested. The gift comes from the whole class so the teachers don’t know who gave how much or at all, but some parents choose to give individually.


Cyan, so you're saying I'm expected to give in the group gift? I have noticed that the parents sending the email out to the class about collecting is usually someone who's well-off and has no problem spending a lot on teacher gifts. I always just email them back that we cannot participate.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:50 am
Thank you, everyone!
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 9:02 am
I am quite surprised by the responses. I understand some people really don't have money and I have close relatives and friends that don't. But somehow, they find the 25x10-15 to be part of chanuka gift that everyone is participating in. I have collected numerous times and all parents were thrilled to give the 25$ for teachers a lot cheaper than individually.maybe you really don't have. I don't know what your finances are but some people claim they don't have and then the husband goes and buys expensive donuts and drinks for kids which aren't necessary at all. A note is nice. Just know your priorities. And make sure you really don't have rather than you want the money for something you want more! There was a time I didn't have and we were part of class gift because we gave anyway. BH we have now. So things have changed. And usually the best kids give most and most difficulty don't give. Also, I don't know which school you are in. It does make a difference if everyone gives except you or many don't. A card is nice and thoughtful gesture and a cheap though mug or chocolate or donut is nice too. Just please acknowledge and don't ignore that these hard working people are there to help and teach your kids.
Signed A hard working therapist
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 9:16 am
amother wrote:
I am quite surprised by the responses. I understand some people really don't have money and I have close relatives and friends that don't. But somehow, they find the 25x10-15 to be part of chanuka gift that everyone is participating in. I have collected numerous times and all parents were thrilled to give the 25$ for teachers a lot cheaper than individually.maybe you really don't have. I don't know what your finances are but some people claim they don't have and then the husband goes and buys expensive donuts and drinks for kids which aren't necessary at all. A note is nice. Just know your priorities. And make sure you really don't have rather than you want the money for something you want more! There was a time I didn't have and we were part of class gift because we gave anyway. BH we have now. So things have changed


I consider $250 to big expense. Even $100. Yes, we will buy about 2 doughnuts each kid and gifts from the dollars store (literally) and chocolate coins. Do you think my childrens' teachers want us to withhold even those very few items from them? And not go visit family and save on gas so they can have a gift? If they are that selfish, they shouldn't be in chinuch. We don't get things that are excessive. I myself work with children and I don't get a single holiday gift at all. And that's fine!
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 9:18 am
I haven't taught in years but remembering from the times when I did. I remember once getting $10 in cash (I believe all singles) from a family that had NO money. I mean no money. I had really worked hard for their child and they wanted to express their thanks. They wrote a beautiful note along with it. That $10 meant more to me than the $100 I got from other parents. For real.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 20 2018, 9:38 am
Why do people think that throwing money and luxuries at a teacher makes them feel more appreciated than a heartfelt card?
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 22 2018, 2:06 pm
One year DH was unemployed and we barely paid tuition, much less gave gifts. I baked cookies and included them with the card, iirc.
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