Neighbours toddler screaming at night

amother

Peach

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:09 pm

My neighbours 2 year old has been screaming, crying, Shouting for at least an hour and half . When I'm asleep I don't wake up from it but my husband wasn't home and waited up for him .
The crying went on and on until we decided to ask them if all ok . I text her and she didn't respond (wrote: I'm still up . Is your baby ok ? Need any help? )
She's highly pregnant and thought there might be a babysitter or she's not feeling well. This was after midnight. She didn't respond
After 15 mins dh called her husband . He said they're training her to fall asleep , cry it out !!
I started crying!!! I have little children myself and when I was highly pregnant my 2 year old still woke up at night . We went to him . Calmed him and went back to sleep .
I've heard about letting them cry it out . Is an hour and half normal ? It wasn't just crying. It was screaming. I felt numb .
After the phone call , and dh text him and apologized , the toddler finally calmed down .
What are your thoughts ?

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:20 pm

If shes otherwise a normal mother dont judge. I had a child I let scream for 3 hours because the child never slept and it was that or me throw the baby out the window. Sometime you just need a break and if the child is safe that's what u do. Other times I had a child I couldn't let scream bec they'd throw up.

thunderstorm

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:21 pm

Everyone has different ways of raising children. Yes, it's awfully frusterating to have to deal with neighbors noise when you are trying to sleep yourself, btdt. But don't judge. This is their approach and you have your approach.

lolymom

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:35 pm

Mix out, it’s a parenting style not abuse. Not everyone is as great as you to be able to be pregnant and up a whole night dealing with their toddler.

33055

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:36 pm

Midnite is too late to disturb the neighbors with a child screaming for an hour and a half. There are certain times and places where children screaming is not acceptable. This is one of them.

A "baby's cry can be about 130 decibels".

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:39 pm

Hearing neighbors baby's cry is part of apartment building living. BUT everyone has to be considerate of their neighbors, especially after midnight. You dont let a child cry on end in middle of the night if you can help it.
OP, have you tried a sound machine?

amother

Peach

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:42 pm

I don't need a noise machine cos when I'm asleep I don't hear it .
It's totally in middle of night where I live and that toddler is again screaming . The room is right near my kids room . I have 2 children in my room now . They both woke up . First time happening .

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:44 pm

OP, if its disturbing your sleep and waking the kids, you need to have a conversation about it with your neighbor. It's just not mentchlich to let a toddler cry at night.

amother

Peach

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:48 pm

It's first time happening and her husband said they're sleep training .
I'm going to talk to her in the morning . My children finally fell asleep but the toddler is still crying . It's been 2.5 hours

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 9:00 pm

amother wrote:

maybe they can't help it you don't know what else is going on I had a kid with health issues and there's only so much you can handle

ectomorph

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 9:31 pm

amother wrote:

Ectomorph, OP said that their DH said they're sleep training and letting him cry it out. This is unacceptable to do in middle of the night.

maybe shes not telling you the whole story.

And even if so. Maybe this is when the child needs to be trained.

I wouldn't jump to them being inconsiderate especially since his is the first time.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 10:06 pm

Ask them if they recently toilet trained the kid. Maybe the kid needs the bathroom and they don't know why the kids is crying. Just take the kids to the bathroom or child needs water. Or they took away pacifier. I feel bad for both of you

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 10:08 pm

It is cruel.

My mom did it to me when I was 2 and she says I screamed for 8 hours the first night, 7 next, and so on, for a week, until I stopped.

When I hear this story, it indicates that this is probably when my (severe) attachment issues began.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 5:33 am

amother wrote:

Wow, this whole story is so sad it makes me want to cry! It's so hard to know what to do!!!

SuperWify

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 8:34 am

My baby would not go to bed. DH and I were at our wits ends.

We used the CIO method. He’d cry for about 20 minutes and fall asleep. Every day after less and less. BH it worked very nicely. After a few weeks he was able to self soothe.

Once in the middle of the process I was away for shabbos and all DH aunts and his mother were screaming at me that I’m cruel. My mil went so far to take the baby out of his crib. She said I can’t leave a baby crying.

Op and all other do gooders of the world- leave each mom and dad to make the right decision for their child.

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 8:58 am

Superwify, it's not mentchlich to let a child cry it out when a guest at someone's home.
Its also not mentchlich let your child cry it out for hours on end in middle of the night when you live in an apartment building. Letting a child cry at bedtime is understandable, but after midnight its just rude and not considerate.

amother

Ruby

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 9:07 am

ectomorph wrote:

I have a three-year old who doesn’t sleep precisely because I am too wussy to let them cry it out. Kudos to those of you (including OP’s neighbour) who have the guts...