S/o chanukah gelt to teachers

amother

Wheat

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:40 pm

Hi,
I'm a teacher.
I hope I don't get too much backlash for this...
In my school, mothers collect for teachers in behalf of the PTA (sometimes not) to give teachers chanukah gelt.
I feel bad for parents, because I know it's a very uncomfortable feeling to say no (I'm a parent who tends to say no).

Getting to the point:
I get a sum of money in an envelope with a generic poem that I assume was printed for the entire staff (usually rhyming with words like illumination, nation, celebration, education, exuberation, etc. Maybe nowadays it will say "thank you for being serious about vaccination Wink

" )

It bothers me to NO END!!!
I do so many creative things in my classroom, teach multiple subjects... BE SPECIFIC! What did I, as Mrs. X, teach your daughter this year that was meaningful to her or to you? What songs has she been singing all day at home? How did I encourage students' growth? Is there a middah I excel in? ( "We are aware/ of how much you care/ for the girls to learn/ you show your concern" is NOT specific to me.)

Last year, I joined the collection for the teachers of one of my kids, and I told the collecting mother that I'd like to write a personal poem for her to include instead of the generic for the 2 teachers. We did that, and I felt very happy about it. (One of the teachers appreciated it so much that she asked the collecting mother who wrote it, and then thanked me personally. She said she and her family really enjoyed it.)

Thank you to all the parents who send chanukah gelt. You don't have to at all, and it's very generous of you. If you're joining a group, ask for a talented mommy writer (maybe you!) to write a real letter.

PS
This might shock some of you, and I'm sure different schools and homeroom mothers do things differently, but...
The generic letter doesn't even say which parents gave toward the gift, so I can't even send individual thank you notes. I send a generic paper home to thank everyone. Parents who give on their own, I send home a personal thank you card.
I assume that they don't write the list of contributors so as not to embarrass those who didn't.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 6:55 pm

Oh,
And it doesn't have to be a poem. If you send a teacher a note- even without a gift-just a card, out doesn't have to rhyme. Send your typical thankful letter, but make sure you include one/two/three points of a specific praise or thanks to that teacher

three years ago, I got a card with a beautiful, specific, meaningful compliment. I wish I had saved it.
But I don't think I'll ever forgot which mother wrote it, and what the meaningful compliment was.

amother

Natural

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 7:17 pm

I totally agree with you! As a matter of fact I think most teachers would rather a nice note than getting a generic poem along with money that was most probably pooled together.
I often hear parents complain that they cannot afford money or a gift because they have numerous kids and each child has numerous teachers and assistants- What about a note!?
It costs basically nothing (dollar store pkg of cards or rip out a paper from a notebook) and it will mean so much to the parents and assistants, and trust me it is okay to not include a gift or money!

amother

Wheat

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 7:44 pm

amother wrote:

I'm a teacher too and I agree with you 100% though be prepared for backlash - Just appreciate that you're getting a gift, why do teachers feel so entitled....

Thank you a amothers natural and slateblue!

(And yes, that's the backlash I was afraid of... This is my first time being an OP, after being on imamother for four years, and I rarely post, and only twice, I believe, under username. I guess I'll decide if I'm too chicken for this.....)

Simple1

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 7:57 pm

I hear you. But I'm bothered that "it bothers you to NO END!!!". It's nice to get validation for your efforts, but the reality might not always reach your expectations. It doesn't make the parents bad people. If you're getting the gratitude and good feedback ar least some of the time, you are much better off in that regard than people who work in other occupations. Your self worth is better off coming from within. If you're truly a good teacher, it will anyways pay off as you will have a great reputation!

I personally write notes Purim time with the Shalach Manos.

flowerpower

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:06 pm

I’m somehow classmother every year. I put my full heart into the present(ation). I prepare a nice none generic poem and wrap it really nice. I add Other stuff to the package too( not just the gelt). My sister is a teacher works reallllly hard. She gets money in a white envelope. I think thats silly!

Mothers- when your child knows something well or sings a cute song all week, write it on the bottom of the mitzvah note. Don’t wait until The end of the year to give positive feedback to the teachers.

amother

Coral

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:39 pm

I recently had my daughter's first PTA meeting. She is sensory and a bit fidgity and not too perfect with writing and keeping things together and I was fearing the worst. The teachers were so full of praise and encouragement and focused on the positive her reading skills and knowledge. I was so relieved. I felt pressure not to keep the next waiting and got a little tounge tied and I feel like I didn't praise the teachers enough( r u supposed to?) As I was leaving I was thinking to include a nice note with upcoming Chanuka Gift... I make a big effort with the $ because I feel that teachers work really hard, but im never entirely sure what to write... would like to hear more ideas...
Ps. Do most first grade teachers say only nice stuff... In which grade does the but.... begin?
Im trying to figure why I'm so critical of my daughter's work and the teachers don't seem as bothered...

seeker

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 8:59 pm

amother wrote:

In my experience, teachers will bring up issues they notice at any time. If you have concerns and the teachers haven't mentioned any, then you should ask them about it - maybe it will turn out that something is an issue at home and not in school (this information can be enlightening) or it could turn out that something you worried about is actually age appropriate when seen together with a group of other first graders. Or it could be that it's something, but not enough to make an issue of, so you should take note of it in case issues come up later and you want to know where it started.

Ema of 5

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 9:27 pm

I understand where you are coming from, but now I think you need to understand where they are coming from too. Sometimes you have PTA collecting for the entire school- that means collecting for people they may not even know, other than “oh, that person teaches x grade.” If there is a class mother, yea, maybe she can write a nice note. But do you know that she actually has TIME or ABILITY to do so? Of course it would be nice if each person got a personalized note, but that just not always possible. As for no names listed, that is for the parents benefit. I’m sure YOU would never do this, but there are teachers out there who WOULD treat kids differently, knowing whether their parents gave or not. Also, what if only one or two kids parents didn’t give? Those kids would definitely be treated differently, and for something that isn’t even of their own doing!!
More than anything else you wrote, though, I’m having a hard time understanding why this “bothers you to no end.” That’s pretty intense....