Who generally pays for vort

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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

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amother

Coral

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 10:24 pm

Assuming both sides are of the same means. Is there a ‘usual way thats the Norm’ or each circumstance is different?

cnc

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 10:37 pm

In my circles the girls' side makes the Vort

amother

Blue

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 10:51 pm

The girls side makes the vort, dont ask me why.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 10:54 pm

The girl makes the vort

amother

Seafoam

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 10:56 pm

why? im a bt but shouldnt it be split?

dankbar

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 11:10 pm

In my circle the girl makes the vort

SYA

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 11:16 pm

In my circle the boy makes the Vort.

amother

Seashell

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 11:18 pm

SYA wrote:

In my circle the boy makes the Vort.

Which circles are those? Never heard of that.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 11 2019, 12:02 pm; edited 1 time in total

boysrus

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 11:22 pm

smileforamile wrote:

Which circles are those? Never heard of that.

in Lubavitch circles the boys side make the vort. I dont know why, but it always makes sense to me: The wedding is going to be in the girl's hometown (usually) so at least let the boys side host some part of the simcha in their city. A lot of boys do not even have their aufruf in their home town, eg if they are getting married on a sunday a plane ride away from home...

coloredleaves

Tue, Nov 20 2018, 11:28 pm

In my circle- yeshivish- girls side makes vort. And also decides where it is ( home to shul) and how fancy or not to make it. Growing up more modern- if each side was from a different neighborhood they eachsponsored one in their own area and made it how they wanted. Like there might be one vort in own state and another engagement party if the other side's state

dankbar

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 1:21 am

For BT if they dont have family who should make it for them or no money or if fam not frum....sometimes the community or friends put together the vort & sponsor it by pooling together the funds

amother

Coffee

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 1:52 am

For my first son we paid half for the vort. The girls family planned everything and then we gave them a check for half. My second son they were from out of town and the girl very much wanted the vort where we lived because all of her friends were here and somehow we ended up with the bill for it.

Ruchel

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 5:03 am

I'm more familiar with 50/50. But again I'm also not familiar with that awful flap thing.

thanks

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 6:36 am

Ruchel wrote:

I'm more familiar with 50/50. But again I'm also not familiar with that awful flap thing.

Flops is not awful. Its a great way to divide the wedding expenses. Worked well for us. Others like to split 50/50.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 7:24 am

Girls side.

Shuly

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 7:39 am

Girl's side, but if the girl lives in a different city, the boy's side might make a second vort in their city.

Fabulous

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 7:43 am

Heimish/ chassidish is usually the girl’s side

Culturedpearls

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 7:43 am

boysrus wrote:

I beg to differ. We always split the cost 50/50 even when the kallah’s side though they should pay it all. We insisted.
Same with chassuna.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 7:59 am

Girls side and we paid a lot just to rent a dinky"" hall. I regret that I didnt stand up"" and say I don't want a vort. Its a waste of money. I always said I didnt want it but my mil planned the date without my input.

With all money my parents paid for my wedding, with flops, boys pay less, its a waste for a vort. We had to pay.

b from nj

Wed, Nov 21 2018, 8:14 am

We paid for & hosted the L'chaim for my daughter after they got engaged but we split the cost of the Vort/Engagement Party with the mechatonim & for the wedding we did FLOPS but the Chosson's side wanted extras at the Shmorg that they paid for (like a bar & a sushi station etc) which were not important to us.

Last edited by b from nj on Wed, Nov 21 2018, 8:36 am; edited 1 time in total

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