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Forum -> Household Management -> Kosher Kitchen
Learning to help others in the kitchen as a guest



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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2018, 8:30 pm
Not sure how to phrase this. When I'm at friends and relatives houses I usually offer to help prepare food. Usually I'm told no, but sometimes they take me up on the offer. I'm glad to help but the problem is that I am just SO AWKWARD. I don't know where anything is, I don't know how they want things to be done, I don't even know how to move around in someone else's kitchen without getting in the way. I have to ask so many questions. I usually wind up feeling like I've just made more work for my hostess. Sad

But I see other people do this so well, and seemingly effortlessly. How do you do it?!! I always ask what they want to be done and follow their lead, but it doesn't seem to work as well for me as others.

So, if you're a person that manages to help other people with cooking and be useful, what do you think I need to learn to do?
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2018, 8:37 pm
It's very challenging unless you're a close friend who visits and helps frequently.
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teachkids




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2018, 8:41 pm
I find that it's easiest if the guest is given a super specific job: Here's a cutting board and a knife, can you cut these 3 veggies into salad and put them into this bowl.
Try making sure you have everything you need before you start the job so your host stops once and gives you everything and then continues working.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2018, 8:53 pm
Growing up, my mother taught me a nice way to help would be to notice when a hostess is doing a task and offer to take over her job so she could do something else. Usually the task is all set up already, like chopping veggies, transferring food to platters, taking out the garbage, cutting paper towels etc.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2018, 9:01 pm
I usually ask "how can I help? can I chop anything? peel anything? slice anything? wash anything? Set the table? Cut aluminum foil or paper towels?" If they ask me to make salad, say, I"ll ask if they have a preference as to how it's done. Veggies sliced or diced? Peeled or not? Big pieces or small? Lettuce cut or torn? Usually they will say "any way you do it is fine, thanks."

There are people who don't let anyone do anything in their kitchens. If I'm hosted by someone like that, I figure I did my part, which was offering. That they didn't take me up on it is their problem, not mine. Some people can only think about one thing at a time so they can't think what to ask you to do while they are in the midst of another task.

The people you admire for helping so well have probably been there many times before and know their way around their hostess's kitchen. That's half the battle, and you can't expect to have this knowledge without having spent a lot of time there. So just ask! "Is this knife milchik? Where are your fleishik potholders? Is it Ok to put this bowl down on this counter?"

You can offer to help serve during the meal or clear up afterwards. Your hostess may (or may not) appreciate that even more.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Sun, Nov 25 2018, 9:15 pm
OP, I'm the same way. Even worse, I'm not good with my hands and kind of clumsy in general. I don't cut things neatly. I'm comfortable in my own kitchen, where no one will care if I'm slow or messy. But I feel very uncomfortable and awkward in other people's kitchens. I'm usually not the one offering to help. I can even be like this in my grandmother's kitchen! Maybe not in my mother's, but that's about it. I've never gotten over the discomfort. I hope my MIL doesn't think too badly of me...
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