Please pray for my daughter

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Forum -> Announcements & Mazel Tovs -> Tehillim Needed

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amother

Coral

Tue, Nov 27 2018, 10:11 pm

My teen daughter has a severe worsening of her depression in the last few days (has been worsening for the last couple of months but now even worse) , she is refusing to take medication, missing school, and barely eating. We are doing all we can (psychologist, urgent psychiatrist appt scheduled later this week), and have been for the last several years....but I am at a loss, I don't know how much more of this I can take...I don't even want to come home from work every day and I have other children to care for....she is my oldest. She really needs Hashem's help to make a turn for the better....even though she herself doesn't believe in it anymore....
Her name is Esther Daniella bat Chana

Cheiny

Tue, Nov 27 2018, 10:12 pm

amother wrote:

May she have a refuah shelaima quickly!

amother

Yellow

Tue, Nov 27 2018, 10:18 pm

I feel for you, op. Btdt. Praying for you and your daughter. Please find someone irl who can listen to you without judgment or unsolicited advice. You need support so that you can be there for your dd.

flowerpower

Tue, Nov 27 2018, 10:19 pm

Will daven that she should have a refuah shlaima bekarov

amother

Magenta

Tue, Nov 27 2018, 10:32 pm

Sending love, prayers and hope! Hang in there, op. Beezrat Hashem she will heal and move past this, bringing you unbelievable joy and nachat.
Sincerely, someone who in my teen years could have been described the same way as your dd Hug

sneakermom

Tue, Nov 27 2018, 11:03 pm

Sending love and prayers!!

amother

Papaya

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 1:00 am

Just davened for her.
Op you sound like a calm, levelheaded, great mom.

amother

Coral

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 6:22 am

amother wrote:

Just davened for her.
Op you sound like a calm, levelheaded, great mom.

Thank you. I don't feel like that often, I want to quit being her parent. She eis not calm, when we bother her or try to get her to do stuff, she cries and throws fits....

amother

Sapphire

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 7:03 am

Start her on supplements ASAP. I have on and off depression. I lost a child. The only thing that helped us taking supplements. If I stop it comes back. I would do b complex and vit d. Easy to digest ones. And love. When people around me was resentful to me I didn’t even want to live. My husband love carries me out of it. You need to give her hugs and kisses. Nice words despite her behavior. If you show her you don’t even want to be her parents she will get worse god forbid. Love her. I know it’s not easy but do it even artificially at first and then real feelings of love will follow

mo5

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 7:10 am

Said some Tehillim. Wishing her a refua sheleima quickly o

ra_mom

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 7:15 am

Refuah Shelaima Esther Daniella bat Chana

amother

Gold

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 7:49 am

Davening for your daughter. Refuah sheleimah!

FranticFrummie

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 7:54 am

Davening for you both.

I'm in the same boat with DD. It's so bad that I'm sending her back to the US to live with her dad, so she can get into a therapy center where everyone speaks English. I feel guilty when I am looking forward to getting a break from the drama.

amother

Gray

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 8:55 am

amother wrote:

Refuah shelaima! Davening for her and you and your family.

If you suspect she is suicidal or at risk of harming herself please take her to the hospital for emergency treatment.

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 9:21 am

I will daven for your DD. I'm writing her name down on my desk so I can keep her in mind.

And as a mother who has been thru similar, I want to offer you chizuk if I can. It feels so awful when our child is struggling - it's like my world is off kilter. My teen was diagnosed with a mood disorder almost 2 years ago. She's B"H doing so much better, but it has been a journey.

I have found that the right medicine (or combination) is really what is needed, more than anything else. Clinical depression is something they can't control, not even with the best therapist. Their brain is missing a chemical combination that it needs in order to function properly. It's 90% meds, and a really good psychiatrist is worth seeing.

On top of that, a good therapist can help your teen maintain a sense of self-esteem and well-being, and recognize what triggers her, and how to take good care of herself.

BTW after my teen got onto a good medical regimen, she gained over 20 pounds (she also grew about 3 inches). Some of it may have been from meds, but alot of it was nutrition. She was too thin before, and I think her illness had affected her appetite (she does not have an eating disorder). Now she looks great - she's still slim and beautiful, but healthy looking B"H.

Tell your teen that she is not alone. She may not know it, but there are lots of other teens out there like her - they are not advertising their personal lives....but there are likely other girls in her class/grade/school who are in therapy and/or taking meds. She should not feel like she's the only one. Emphasize to her that she is normal and can lead a normal life as long as she takes good care of herself. Tell her she's worth it, that you love her, that you want to help her but you need her to also help herself, and she will get back to herself.

I wish you lots of strength as a mother. You sound amazing.

itsmeima

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 11:11 am

Just davened for her and I'll continue davening! May Hashem give you, her and your family strength... Hug

amother

Coral

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 10:12 pm

I want to thank everybody for your prayers and kind words. Today I saw their effect, my daughter went to school( with a lot of effort from her father in the morning); the way she was yesterday I thought she won't be going at least for the rest of the week. Tonight she was even doing her homework and singing. A complete miracle.

She is on medications and supplements, but when she is refusing to take them they cannot help, and we cannot tell if they have to be adjusted or changed....she has been mostly refusing for a while now...
She is in counseling for about a year and a half, and on medication for less than a year.... In the beginning we saw a great help with meds, in addition to counseling, it is a combination of natural antidepressant and supplements she needs according to her blood work, but then the refusal started. She not only has depression but also anxiety and ODD.
To a poster with advice on when to take her to ER: unfortunately we know that, we already did that when she was verbally expressing these thoughts in the summer. She hasn't been talking like that anymore because she doesn't want to return to ER I guess.

I don't feel like I can vent about it IRL. I don't want to talk about her to friends in the community because of her age and they know her and she knows them.... My mom knows most of it but I can't vent to her too much because then she pities me and I cannot bear when she tells me things like poor you, nobody helps you, etc...

amother

Yellow

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 10:18 pm

amother wrote:

I can imagine the relief. B''H.

dankbar

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 3:25 am

The power of tefillah brings miracles!

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 10:18 am

I'm so glad your daughter had a good day/night. I am continuing to pray for her and hope she continues to feel good. I know how good that feels as a parent, we just want our children's well-being so badly.

I also want to say, if your daughter is on medication but not taking them consistently, there's the possibility that in a way that can make some things worse, because then she can have withdrawal symptoms. A person should only stop/withdraw from a medicine while under medical supervision. So it's important for her to understand this. The only way to gauge if a medicine is being effective is if it's being taken properly. When my daughter started taking medication, I gave it to her every night on schedule, so that we could know she took it and at the correct dose, etc...it's only recently, after being used to it and showing her responsibility, that our daughter is taking it on her own, in charge of herself.

I totally agree that you cannot really vent about her to people you know. Your daughter deserves privacy here. I would recommend that you see a therapist for yourself for a few sessions. You really need support with this too, and the therapist might also be able to help you help your daughter more effectively.

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