Need Help with DS7 - ADHD

amother

Indigo

Wed, Nov 28 2018, 6:27 pm

DS has ADHD and has been on meds for about a year with amazing results. This year, he started out of control lying and is now taking things that aren't his. I hesitate to call it stealing, because I really don't think it's malicious. AFAIK it's mostly at home when his meds have worn off, I haven't heard anything from school about it. But the fact is that he takes literally anything that isn't tied down and supervised, including complete trash. Just this week I found memory cards, a computer chip, a tiny key that doesn't go to anything, and some buttons in his pants pocket. He doesn't care about keeping them and just does this cute smile thing when we try to talk to him about it or give a consequence, which he accepts nicely but the behavior just continues. It's the same with lying, he will look us straight in the eye and say something blatantly untrue, and just keep it up unless I really make him say it's a lie. Eventually he'll admit it if I have the 15 mins to get that far, but again any consequence or discussion has zero effect. I understand from talking to some people and reading other threads here that it's likely connected to the ADHD and the general impulsiveness that comes along with that, but what do I do? Does anyone have any advice because I'm at my wits end.

ETA: I want to bring this up to his psychiatrist but unfortunately our most recent appointment was cancelled due to weather and his next available slot isn't until January. I'm on a list to take a cancelled appointment, but am hoping someone here can also offer advice. TIA.

amother

Red

Fri, Nov 30 2018, 8:37 am

I have/had that also with my son-who has adhd tendencies... I ended up meeting with a psychologist on my own-without the child, to discuss the best approach and where it might be stemming from.

a few things we came out with was his need for "things"- which we are trying to tamper down with by building up his being busy physically and getting non physical rewards-playing a game together, extra time before bed....

the other thing were working on is his ability to "wait" in general. wait patiently for supper to be ready, for me to do homework, someone else to speak first... not everything is instant. (which can lead to the impulsive-I see it, I take it.)

another thing im working with him is that just because its there and free or hefker doesnt mean we need it it or have to take it. a penny on the floor, a freebie in a store...

I also spoke to him in short but strong that its aveira and its called stealing if you take something thats not yours without permission.....

Hope some of this can help you!

hatzlacha rabba, and may we only have nachas from our kids that have so much in them!