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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Cant afford teacher/therapist gifts
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:03 pm
My 7yo is in a self contained classroom and has 2 teachers and 4 assistants who work hard. My toddler has a morah and 3 ei therapists. (two non-jewish, and one just started with him)

I am in a ton of debt right now and I cannot afford gifts. If there was a way I can spend $2ish on each teacher and give something creative, easy, and appropriate, I would. Any Ideas? Do I have to give to each of them?

(I live in lakewood, in case that's relevant)
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:07 pm
personalized card
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sped




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:16 pm
I worked in classrooms like that in the past and the gift giving/thank yous are really overwhelming for parents. If you feel you need to send something, what some mothers did, and was really appreciate, was send in a tray of cookies and coffee or fruit or rolls and spreads for everyone to share. It was homemade, not too expensive, covered everyone and was really appreciated. I also got a chocolate bar with a nice note, and that was really appreciated as well. I think it's more the idea of showing hakoras hatov for all the hard work everyone is putting in to your child, more than anything else.
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Amelia Bedelia




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:17 pm
Doughnut and J&J iced cappuccino with a nice card
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:19 pm
I'm a teacher. I'd cry if it was my student. Please don't feel you have to buy anything
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:20 pm
amother wrote:
My 7yo is in a self contained classroom and has 2 teachers and 4 assistants who work hard. My toddler has a morah and 3 ei therapists. (two non-jewish, and one just started with him)

I am in a ton of debt right now and I cannot afford gifts. If there was a way I can spend $2ish on each teacher and give something creative, easy, and appropriate, I would. Any Ideas? Do I have to give to each of them?

(I live in lakewood, in case that's relevant)


I'm in a similar situation. I cannot afford gifts for my kids teachers, but the school is literally forcing it upon me. One daughter's class mother keeps calling me to send in the money, and my older daughter comes home daily begging me for the money, cause they remind her every day about it.

Why am I being forced to take from the little money that I have set aside for basic necessities to send gifts to the teachers? And I'm being forced to put the teachers before my own kids. I'd prefer to use whatever few dollars I can somehow scrape away to get a few minor Yom Tov enhancements (donuts etc..) for my kids rather than give a monetary gift to the teachers.

We get all these messages about gifts aren't really related to the spirit of Chanukah. So how come we do connect giving teachers monetary/ physical gifts to Chanukah? If we want to make it about showing appreciation, that's fine. But leave all options open to the parents how they can show appreciation. I can do it verbally or via a personal card. The school should not be enforcing a particular method of it, and especially not to involve the kids in collecting the money.
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:25 pm
amother wrote:
I'm in a similar situation. I cannot afford gifts for my kids teachers, but the school is literally forcing it upon me. One daughter's class mother keeps calling me to send in the money, and my older daughter comes home daily begging me for the money, cause they remind her every day about it.

Why am I being forced to take from the little money that I have set aside for basic necessities to send gifts to the teachers? And I'm being forced to put the teachers before my own kids. I'd prefer to use whatever few dollars I can somehow scrape away to get a few minor Yom Tov enhancements (donuts etc..) for my kids rather than give a monetary gift to the teachers.

We get all these messages about gifts aren't really related to the spirit of Chanukah. So how come we do connect giving teachers monetary/ physical gifts to Chanukah? If we want to make it about showing appreciation, that's fine. But leave all options open to the parents how they can show appreciation. I can do it verbally or via a personal card. The school should not be enforcing a particular method of it, and especially not to involve the kids in collecting the money.


This is why I was class mother for years. I know the feeling so I would send home a note once and whatever I got back, wonderful. The rest was tough luck. Unlike other years when other class mothers did it, my kids were NEVER allowed to solicit from their peers.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:32 pm
groisamomma wrote:
This is why I was class mother for years. I know the feeling so I would send home a note once and whatever I got back, wonderful. The rest was tough luck. Unlike other years when other class mothers did it, my kids were NEVER allowed to solicit from their peers.


I wish there were more considerate mothers like you out there.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:38 pm
sped wrote:
I worked in classrooms like that in the past and the gift giving/thank yous are really overwhelming for parents. If you feel you need to send something, what some mothers did, and was really appreciate, was send in a tray of cookies and coffee or fruit or rolls and spreads for everyone to share. It was homemade, not too expensive, covered everyone and was really appreciated. I also got a chocolate bar with a nice note, and that was really appreciated as well. I think it's more the idea of showing hakoras hatov for all the hard work everyone is putting in to your child, more than anything else.


Thanks, I love this idea!
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 12:49 pm
I like to do homemade cookies using Chanuka cookie cutters on those cheap garish Happy Chanuka plates. The whole thing costs only a few dollars, I could make 10 trays or so, and it looks very Chanukadik. I always try to include a nice note.
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adventuresOOT




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 1:09 pm
A letter or short note in a card saying how much they’ve helped your child — these are the things I save and treasure for years after. Mugs and other tchotchkes just get tossed after a while, and gift cards get used up, but I save notes and pictures and often pull them out when I’m having a rough day. A heartfelt thanks mean more than you know!
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 1:59 pm
I can identify with this on several aspects. As a parent who has a number of therapists (often 10+) between my children it gets overwhelming and costly to send gifts. However I always have a strong desire to express my appreciation. If I can find something for a couple of dollars that doesn't look cheap, great. If not, like this year, I'm probably just going to give a nicely wrapped plate of cookies. I do work hard to write a nice personalized card. When discussing what I should do this year, a teacher I know pointed out to me that therapists don't necessarily want another platter/mug/chatchke to clutter up their house.
On the flip side, as a therapist, I don't receive from most parents. I'm definitely very appreciative of those who give and it doesn't really make a difference if it's something bigger or smaller. The thought counts. And I would not want anyone to feel pressured or stressed to give me something and certainly not to take it from monies set aside to make Chanukah special for their family. A nicely written personal note is much more meaningful!!
I hope that you see much progress, brocha, hatzlocha and nachas from your children. They're lucky to have a mother who cares so much.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 4:44 pm
Amelia Bedelia wrote:
Doughnut and J&J iced cappuccino with a nice card


I think that looks terribly cheap. It’s not Purim mushliach manos time. Amazing Savings has great stuff for very cheap, you could pick up a vase or nice glass water pitcher or something fir the house for a couple bucks,
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 4:52 pm
I'm a therapist. The things that meant the most to me was a beautifully written note. It doesn't have to be a poem. It just has to be heartfelt. I've had parents give me gifts before and it feels so strange when it doesn't come with a note. So the ikkar, for me, is the note!
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 4:58 pm
Ask your kids what they like about the teacher/therapist. Write it all down.
Take cute pictures of your kids and print them out with "thank you Mrs. X!".
On the back write a thank you note with 2-3 specific things listed and what your child told you.
This is cute, personalized and sincere.
If it’s printed on cardstock and delivered in a small cellophane bag with a couple chocolates, they will feel appreciated.
I have used this template for the past couple years and the Morah's all love it.
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teachkids




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:26 pm
As a teacher I've been thrilled with a meaningful note attached to a small box of chocolate or nice tea assortment. Just showing that you are thinking of the teacher and appreciate what they put in to your child is all they really need.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:35 pm
groisamomma wrote:
This is why I was class mother for years. I know the feeling so I would send home a note once and whatever I got back, wonderful. The rest was tough luck. Unlike other years when other class mothers did it, my kids were NEVER allowed to solicit from their peers.


Yes - this is what I've done, too. A close relative mentioned the idea to me once, saying she did it after her first year getting lots of reminder emails putting pressure on parents to give.

This is a small, but important way that moms who have extra money to spend can help to take some pressure off other families who want to give but cannot. I would never ever want a mom to feel like she has to choose to deny her children to make a contribution to the class gift. If you can easily part with an extra $100-$200, then volunteer to collect the money and basically fund it yourself. If a mom sees you one day and says, "oh no, I forgot to contribute! you can say - don't worry about it - we got plenty to cover the gift!"

If you can't afford a gift, a heartfelt note is really, really meaningful.
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 7:36 pm
A few thoughts...

1. A gift is a gift, not an obligation. You're not obligated.

2. It's been a long time since I was a teacher, but when was I used to come home with endless mugs, chocolates, stationary and body lotion. I appreciated the kind gestures, but I really didn't need or want any of it. The best gifts were the heartfelt words that a few parents and students took the time to write to me to thank me for being a great teacher. If you can give word to your appreciation, that would be worth a lot.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 7:45 pm
I’m a therapist. I get very few tokens of appreciation. Any form of appreciation is great. I once had a mom buy me something small and the kid gave it to me with a few prizes she chose from her own things, and I am still touched to this day. Honestly a card is appreciated. It’s not about the gift.
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Eemaof3




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 7:50 pm
I've done things like mason jars with layered ingredients for brownies, mason jar with a small bottle of rum and small bottle of coke and a straw, inexpensive snacks from Xmas Tree shop, homemade cookies, bracelets that were on clearance the year before ($2 each from Corning Museum of Glass). Notes that have taken much time mean worlds to most teachers!
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