Would you allow your child to attend non-Jewish college?

Cheiny

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 5:54 pm

Considering the brainwashing that goes on these days in secular colleges, plus the anti semitism that’s so pervasive, I fear for the kids. I’ve already told my son when he’s old enough, (still got a few years for that) that he must not go to a college like that. Your thoughts?

https://www.vosizneias.com/311.....ized/

simcha2

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:01 pm

Yes.

But I also believe that the secular world isn't inherently tamei.

It made national news because it is so rare. If it were an everyday thing, it wouldn't make the news.

Given that, I have worked on college campuses for many years and each university has a different ta'am. There is no way I would let my kids go to one of the places that I worked. There was ingrained antisemitism in the student body and the administration. Most campuses are not like that.

Cheiny

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:04 pm

simcha2 wrote:

Also very one sided and extreme liberal views being pushed by the professors.

simcha2

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:09 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Also very one sided and extreme liberal views being pushed by the professors.

There is definitely a lefty leaning bias in the faculty of most universities. The vast majority of professors are professionals and don't share their political views. For those that do, I think college in general, is the time to be exposed to many viewpoints, many of which you may disagree with. It expands the mind, teaches critical thinking, debating skills and to know your own mind (and maybe occasionally to change it).

I think living in an echo chamber is bad for many reasons.

Cheiny

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:16 pm

simcha2 wrote:

What?! Have you not read about all the professors pushing BDS against Israel? They don’t share their political views? Look into it, I think you’re in for a bad surprise,

simcha2

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:23 pm

Cheiny wrote:

What?! Have you not read about all the professors pushing BDS against Israel? They don’t share their political views? Look into it, I think you’re in for a bad surprise,

I said "most" don't. This is correct.

Some do, this is also true. The "some" is a relatively small number. There may be many more who support BDS, that doesn't mean they push it, or even share that view with their students.

The fact that a professor who refused to give a reference to a student for study in Israel made national news, is proof of this.

I majored in a liberal art at a major university, I had exactly one professor who espoused his personal political views. My grade, which consisted of a class presentation and a final essay, both of which ran counter to his position, was a high A. Even though he didn't agree with my thesis, he gave me mark that represented my work.

amother

Slategray

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:25 pm

When I opened this thread, I didn't realize it was going to be from a perspective of fear for personal safety. I don't think I'd be too nervous to send my kids to a non-Jewish college from that perspective. I work in a public school, so I put myself in a similar kind of situation.

In terms of liberal ideology, I wouldn't be concerned about that. I was raised to be an independent thinker, and I plan on bringing up my kids the same way. At the very least, hopefully they'll evaluate what they see and hear from a critical perspective and not just be drawn with the crowd. Obviously, with independent thinking is the possibility that they will draw conclusions that I don't like, but by the time my child would be that age, they would have the freedom to make their own decisions.

I thought that this thread was going to be about the hashkafic impact of secular college. On that, I'm very conflicted. I went to Touro after being accepted to Brooklyn College on full scholarship. I ended up having my Touro tuition covered fully by academic scholarships, as well, but I still paid a lot because of credits above 18 and summer classes. I just think that the cost of Touro is astronomical. Also, why is it considered assur and horrible for an undergraduate student to go to a secular college, but then once they hit graduate school it's totally okay?

My DH is looking into different college options now. If he can't get a significant scholarship to Touro, he will most likely go to Brooklyn College. We're not going to put our family in debt.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jul 11 2019, 11:52 am; edited 1 time in total

Cheiny

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:34 pm

smileforamile wrote:

Of course my concerns are first and foremost the hashkafic issues...as far as your dh, I’d say it’s less problematic for a fully grown adult than a teenager because of potential influential effects...

amother

Oak

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:42 pm

Cheiny wrote:

So why the article?

Editing to add - would you allow your children to become academics?

leah233

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:46 pm

Even the non-Jews I work with, whose children went to public high school, talk about the wacky ideas their children pick up in college. I've seen non-Jewish publications use the cliché "like you have to explain to your daughter when she comes home from college thinking...".

It certainly is not the place for a frum vulnerable college aged person.

simcha2

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:49 pm

leah233 wrote:

Btw, people say this about children coming back from their year in Israel (seminary or yeshiva) too.

I'm wondering whether the posters who wouldn't allow their children to attend a secular college attended one themselves?

amother

Babypink

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 8:05 pm

amother wrote:

I attended a non jewish college and at the moment my daughter is also.
Sadly her BY high school did more damage to her Yiddishkeit than any secular collage.

Same for me. I found more warmth, acceptance and overall just amazing people in my secular college than my Yeshivish community. Go figure.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 8:13 pm

I think it depends on the kid. I am a more bubbily social personality and unfortunately not so strong in my yiddishkeit. I'm glad I went to college as a married woman because I'm sure it would have been difficult for me as a single girl to uphold standards in tznius and maybe get into relationships with guys. Just being completely honest. I gravitate towards connecting with people and it was so difficult for me to be left out. It was a real culture shock in some ways I guess. If there were a group of frum girls going it's also different.

trixx

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 8:17 pm

simcha2 wrote:

Her father is a lawyer and just decided to run with it. In reality, these things happen every day in campuses even in NYC (I can tell you stories from girls currently attending secular colleges) to students who don't have the power to even take it to the dean.

amother

Oak

Thu, Nov 29 2018, 8:17 pm

amother wrote:

Not so long ago there was thread on imamother about someone whose brother went to college, picked up some ideas, and now thinks he is probably gay. He had been every attracted to girls beforehand. Enough said.

Really thats enough said?

Some kids to to cheder and get smacked. Enough said?