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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Dyslexic son leining at bar mitzvah



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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 5:05 pm
Hi moms of dyslexic sons,
Did your son lein at his bar mitzvah? How early did you start? How many aliyos did he do? And how do you recommend teaching him? We have about 21 months. Thank you!
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Kumphort




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 5:35 pm
Would you consider having your son daven mussaf? Not such an issue with memorizing the words it’s more of a tune and he might be more familiar with davening?
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sped




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 5:42 pm
A former student of mine did his on Chol hamoed, since his birthday came out close to the chag and it's a shorter leining. He also did musaf.
I know others lein on Rosh Chodesh.
Mazel tov and lots of nachas.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 5:56 pm
There is nothing wrong without having him lein just one aliyah on Shabbos either.

Step one is to figure out if he wants to lein. If he does, or he's not sure, is to find a good teacher. Check with people you know whose kids have related issues and with his school. If there is a resource rebbe, I would ask him.

Among other techniques, ds's teacher did a recording that he had him listen to, so he learned it auditorily as well. But what was most important about him was that he did an initial assessment and reassessed periodically.

When we started, he said he would spend a couple sessions with ds and let us know what goal he felt comfortable setting. Ds wanted to do the whole parsha. After the first sessions, he said we could try, and we would see how it went. We did get there, but other people I know were told to aim for two aliyos, and got there with confidence. Some added a third, some took one away, some were told that haftorah made more sense because there are nekudos, and some were told to focus on other things.

I do know people who did non-shabbos or shabos at hashkamah, specifically to reduce the number of people watching.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, Nov 29 2018, 6:01 pm
My dyslexic son has just about the same amount of time until his bar mitzvah.
He always had the idea he would lein but he can barely read! B"h he's our only son so it's not like he has brothers to compare himself to. We're working on teaching him.to be able to say basic davening (which he will have a chiyuv to do once he is bar mitzva!) and to be able to make the brocha when called up for an aliyah. If he gets that we'll move on to mattie, maybe the haftarah.

I think it really depends on where he is on the dyslexia "spectrum". You can always start with the first aliyah and move on from there if you can. Remember, the bar mitzvah isn't about leining or making a speech! (My son hd serious anxiety that he would have to make a speech. I told him he can be bar mitzvah without it!)
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 03 2018, 10:33 am
We did haftara and maftir. He did very well. We made a mistake by giving him an abridged typical yeshivishe bar mitzvah speech. He read it fine but didn't really understand it and he started complaining loudly as he finished reading it, in front of everyone. We should've given him a short nice dvar torah instead. oh well.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Mon, Dec 03 2018, 10:37 am
Mazel tov!

I wish you luck in whatever you decide. I just wanted to mention that in our shul the Rabbi is very emphatic that the boy must be reading the torah during his leining and not saying it purely from memory (like from listening to the recordings that his leining teacher prepared.) Now, I am not sure if this is halacha or just the Rabbi's view so it may be worth asking your Rabbi how he holds.
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