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Having friends over to socialize
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Nov 30 2018, 4:19 pm
You need to explain to your husband how you feel and then really listen to him about how he feels and see if you can reach a compromise or one of you can change your mind. It’s like any other marriage issue- communication is key. You may not agree with each other but try to understand each other’s viewpoint. I know this is easier said than done
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Dec 01 2018, 12:02 pm
School gets to decide what PARENTS do OUTSIDE of school in their HOME? Oh hell no
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newbie




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Dec 01 2018, 12:28 pm
You should do what makes you and your husband comfortable. As you write that he has no problem with giving up socialising with other couples this way, it seems you have one line and that’s great. That’s all that matters.
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amother




Khaki


Post  Sat, Dec 01 2018, 5:42 pm
I don't hold to this custom, but I understand it completely.
As long as your dh agreed to it, relax and know you did good.
Keep enjoying your girlfriends' company and let dh keep enjoying his. Separately.
I think it teaches the children your values.
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amother




Slategray


Post  Sat, Dec 01 2018, 6:41 pm
amother wrote:
From time to time my DH invites friends over for shabbos meals or plain to socialize. I was never fully comfortable with the idea of couples socializing together, and now that my kids are getting older I'm thinking that I'm not doing the right thing and this is not the type of home I want to build. I told DH that I want to put a stop to it for the children's sake. He doesnt fully understand why but he agreed. An I wrong?
Btw, we are chassidish and the schools have a rule that non family couples shouldn't socialize.
Please no bashing, I beg you.


Just for the people who will scream that it’s fine and dandy for couples to socialize, years ago my parents had friends who’d get together as couples occasionally, and one husband and one wife from separate couples ended up divorcing their spouses and marrying each other. And this was decades ago when things were even cleaner then the times we live in now
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amother




Slategray


Post  Sat, Dec 01 2018, 6:41 pm
causemommysaid wrote:
I kind of think it's wrong of you to stop your husband from socializing with his friends.

I'm not Chassidish so I can't say in terms of your community, but it sounds like there are enough people in your circle who don't find this to be an issue.

Make sure he is really ok with giving it up.


Her do can socialize with his friends and do it not at the same time that the wives get together.
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amother




Slategray


Post  Sat, Dec 01 2018, 6:43 pm
amother wrote:
Can you meet in the middle?

For example not have them over every week only occasionally. Also, this is what's done in our (not chassidish) yeshiva for the young marrieds. You don't invite the same couple over more than once a year and vice versa. This way you get your "couples meal" with them but create a boundry to not form friendships between the spouses. So I would say maybe once a month he can have a friend but not the same friend each time (until you run out and need to start again.)

So it’s ok to break the rules of the Yeshiva as long as its just sometimes?
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dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Dec 01 2018, 6:57 pm
Is it possible to have men at one end of table & women at other end, so the women socialize with the women & the men with the men? If the men are talking friendly to the other women I would understand why you are uncomfortable.
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Sat, Dec 01 2018, 10:51 pm
amother wrote:
So it’s ok to break the rules of the Yeshiva as long as its just sometimes?


Huh? That IS the rule in Yeshiva. That twice a year with the same couple is ok. Are you questioning the rule?
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