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What did you get blamed for today?
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Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:52 pm
amother wrote:
When they start blaming me I usually start adding on chores. Ex. I get blamed because no more clean shirts? Perfect, now you'll start doing your own laundry.

But of course it depends on the context. Sometimes I'll fix them with a shocked face and say, Are you really blaming *me* for this??

I start with the alarm clock when they try to nudge about going to school on time because they did not wake up early enough
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amother




Purple


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 10:11 pm
Thank you so much for this thread. I always thought DD 10 had an attitude problem, and it is so reassuring to see that this is universal. What is the reason behind it and how can (should we even? Or is it just normal stuff they outgrow) we help our kids have better middos in this area?
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Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 4:17 am
amother wrote:
Thank you so much for this thread. I always thought DD 10 had an attitude problem, and it is so reassuring to see that this is universal. What is the reason behind it and how can (should we even? Or is it just normal stuff they outgrow) we help our kids have better middos in this area?


Many years ago, psychiatrists used to diagnose this as Schitzoaffective Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Neurologists now understand that certain parts of the brain mature at faster rates than others, and it creates a disconnect in their perception of the world. Teens are, by definition, mentally unbalanced, and they will grow out of it.

This is why psychiatrists are so reluctant to give a mental health diagnosis to a teenager. They may mature and level out, or they may not. There's no way to tell. Puberty seems to be it's own particular form of psychosis.

Love, patience, compassion, more patience, and lots and lots of davening! That's really all we can do. (Of course, if you think that there is a serious problem, please have your child evaluated, take parenting classes, and figure out how best to handle things.)
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