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gingertop









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 4:43 pm
Quote:
- Narrows her eyes at someone. I dont get this one. I read a LOT, all the time. I am a bibliophile. This is a phrase that only appears in frum novels. Its bizarre.


I never noticed this but now I'm gonna chuckle every time I read such words again.
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gamzehyaavor









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:34 pm
gingertop wrote:
Quote:
- Narrows her eyes at someone. I dont get this one. I read a LOT, all the time. I am a bibliophile. This is a phrase that only appears in frum novels. Its bizarre.


I never noticed this but now I'm gonna chuckle every time I read such words again.

You will narrow your eyes every time you will come across these words.
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gingertop









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:40 pm
gamzehyaavor wrote:
You will narrow your eyes every time you will come across these words.


Then I'll pat my sheitel self-consciously and furtively glance about to see if anyone else in the restaurant heard me chuckle. I'll push the food around while continuing to read. "Why, oh why must I allow chortles to escape my throat," I will think as the waitress approaches with my drinks.




Six chapters about waitress who has nothing to do with the plot of my life.
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gamzehyaavor









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 5:45 pm
gingertop wrote:
Then I'll pat my sheitel self-consciously and furtively glance about to see if anyone else in the restaurant heard me chuckle. I'll push the food around while continuing to read. "Why, oh why must I allow chortles to escape my throat," I will think as the waitress approaches with my drinks.
Six chapters about waitress who has nothing to do with the plot of my life.


Patting the sheital is the reason we must get every older- novel- single get married asap.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:06 pm
I haven't laughed so much like I just did. Please continue with the story. Watergirl you got my "waterworks flowing"... I am crying from laughing so much.
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SuperWify









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:11 pm
YYs mother was a very wise woman. Surely ma would know what to do, he thought to himself. Why, he had such fond memories or her so lovingly taking care of him and all 12 siblings. The house was always spotless, you could see the floors gleaming. There was always fresh kokosh cake and a glass of milk waiting for YY after a long hard day in yeshiva. She never raised her voice at any of them of or her dear husband who she had such respect for.

If only Rivka could be like that! Why, she couldn’t even manage her own seven kids without asking him for help! HIS mother never asked his father for help! Never! Not once in her life!

Rivka was a mess. The house was messy. The kids were messy. Of course he couldn’t do his duties when his own wife couldn’t do hers!

He picked up the phone to make the fateful call.


Last edited by SuperWify on Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MitzadSheini









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:15 pm
(caveat I have also never read one of these novels)

Meanwhile, over in Stamford Hill, Rivka's second best friend forever who she met at Neve after her summer at Camp Ramah, was driving home after a late night shopping expedition at Sainsbury's. Malkie peeked frustratedly at the rearview mirror to pat down her sheital as she waited for the traffic light to turn green. The rain was tapping angrily on her windscreen, and the pathetic attempt of the wipers to remove the drops created a deluge of water making it almost impossible to see out.

Malkie picked up her phone.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:20 pm
SuperWify wrote:
YYs mother was a very wise woman. Surely ma would know what to do, he thought to himself. Why, he had such fond memories or her so lovingly taking care of him and all 12 siblings. The house was always spotless, you could see the floors gleaming. There was always fresh kokosh cake and a glass of milk waiting for YY after a long hard day in yeshiva. She never raised her voice at any of them of or her dear husband who she had such respect for.

If only Rivka could be like that! Why, she couldn’t even manage her own seven kids without asking him for help! HIS mother never asked his father for help!


While YYB mused and compared his mother's abilities to Rivka's incapabilities , Rivka was standing at the kitchen island thinking to herself.
"Ta was ALWAYS home and helping out. Mommy didn't even have to ask. He managed to learn every day, make a decent living and still he a doting husband. Why was YYB so incompetent? Why could he never be the amazing husband she dreamed of having? Where was her knight in shining armor? He was rarely home. Always running to a meeting here or there. But were they really business meetings ? Why would the FBI start an investigation? Is YYB really a crook and an imposter ? Rivka lifted her hands to literally tear her hair out , but her sheitel was in the way. She went to her room, tossed the sheitel on her dresser . Who had time for sheitel heads anyway? She then tore two strands out of her head to help relieve some tension , plopped on a chenille snood in the latest shade of wine and went to lie down for a few minutes ....
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:27 pm
MitzadSheini wrote:
(caveat I have also never read one of these novels)

Meanwhile, over in Stamford Hill, Rivka's second best friend forever who she met at Neve after her summer at Camp Ramah, was driving home after a late night shopping expedition at Sainsbury's. Malkie peeked frustratedly at the rearview mirror to pat down her sheital as she waited for the traffic light to turn green. The rain was tapping angrily on her windscreen, and the pathetic attempt of the wipers to remove the drops created a deluge of water making it almost impossible to see out.

Malkie picked up her phone.


What were all those beeping noises and voices in the distance? Malkie tried opening her eyes but they felt heavy. "Where am I? Why do my eyelids feel like lead?"
Suddenly a calm unfamiliar voice said "Malka, Malka, do you feel me touching your toes? If you do blink your eyes"
Malkie felt a pinch on her big toe and tried to blink once, but her eyes refused to open...
"Malka, you were in a car accident and you are lucky that you are alive. We are doing whatever we can to make you feel comfortable. How's your pain?"
Malkie couldnt even feel if she was in pain. She felt numb and disoriented...
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amother




Wine


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:29 pm
daagahminayin wrote:
“Yehoshua Yitzele Baruch.


Made me LOL how you corrupted his long name!! Very Happy
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amother




Wine


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:35 pm
syrima wrote:
Yerachmiel Yosef Baruch


Oh my!!! Every time I see a new version of YYB, I can't stop smiling.
Such entertainment! (Gonna have to adjust my sheitel from all this laughing and smiling!)
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amother




Wine


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:38 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
While YYB mused and compared his mother's abilities to Rivka's incapabilities , Rivka was standing at the kitchen island thinking to herself.
"Ta was ALWAYS home and helping out. Mommy didn't even have to ask. He managed to learn every day, make a decent living and still he a doting husband. Why was YYB so incompetent? Why could he never be the amazing husband she dreamed of having? Where was her knight in shining armor? He was rarely home. Always running to a meeting here or there. But were they really business meetings ? Why would the FBI start an investigation? Is YYB really a crook and an imposter ? Rivka lifted her hands to literally tear her hair out , but her sheitel was in the way. She went to her room, tossed the sheitel on her dresser . Who had time for sheitel heads anyway? She then tore two strands out of her head to help relieve some tension , plopped on a chenille snood in the latest shade of wine and went to lie down for a few minutes ....


Uh oh, I'll forgive yyb for having yeshivish parents, but rivka was raised reform/conservative, no?☺
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MitzadSheini









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 6:42 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
What were all those beeping noises and voices in the distance? Malkie tried opening her eyes but they felt heavy. "Where am I? Why do my eyelids feel like lead?"
Suddenly a calm unfamiliar voice said "Malka, Malka, do you feel me touching your toes? If you do blink your eyes"
Malkie felt a pinch on her big toe and tried to blink once, but her eyes refused to open...
"Malka, you were in a car accident and you are lucky that you are alive. We are doing whatever we can to make you feel comfortable. How's your pain?"
Malkie couldnt even feel if she was in pain. She felt numb and disoriented...

"YY", she gasped almost inaudibly "YY. YY.". "Why oh Why oh Why did I try to answer that call?" This second phrase was inaudible to all except Malkie herself.

"Hmm. 80 over 50. Pulse is 57. I'm paging Dr Rutherford".
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 7:02 pm
amother wrote:
Uh oh, I'll forgive yyb for having yeshivish parents, but rivka was raised reform/conservative, no?☺
not yeshivish. He was a working guy who made time to learn every day.
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amother




Brown


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 7:34 pm
This is awesome .. I’m in:

Rivka had just settled down on the bed when the doorbell rang. It was too early for the children, and they had a key anyway, so who could it be. Rivka sighed and got out of bed. Adjusting her sheitel, she headed to the door as the bell rang again.

“One minute,” she said, wondering who would be so impatient to ring twice. Even the delivery person from Evergreen knew to only ring once.

Peering through the peephole, she saw two men standing in front of her door. They were dressed in suits but their heads were bare and they had no beards. Clearly they were not from around here.

“Yes,” Rivka said through the closed door.

“Rivka Baruch? Agents Weston and Cohen of the FBI. Can we talk with you for a few moments?”

FBI! What could the FBI want to talk to her about? And Agent Cohen, is he a member of the tribe? Should she open the door?

Before she could think twice, though it did occur to her for a moment that she probably should have called YY, she opened the door.

The man on the right, the one who introduced himself as Agent Cohen stared at her. There was something about his eyes ....

“Becky?” he said.

“Oh my ... Joey? Joey Cohen.”
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MitzadSheini









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 7:52 pm
"Kinderlach kinderlach" YY's mother Mrs Baruch said as she helped her 5 youngest daughters Mahlah, Noa, Hogla, Milka and Tirtza off the school bus right outside the beautiful manicured lawns in front of the house that had been her home since she married 27 years ago. She patted her sheital. "Come on in and have a bissel kokosh cake bubellah".

The girls scampered in, but seeing their mother's loving wink of disapproval, morphed the scamper into an elegant trot. They hung their satchels neatly on their hooks, washed their hands and faces, and came into the kitchen to shmooze with their mother about their day, and enjoy her delicious cake.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 7:57 pm
amother wrote:
This is awesome .. I’m in:

Rivka had just settled down on the bed when the doorbell rang. It was too early for the children, and they had a key anyway, so who could it be. Rivka sighed and got out of bed. Adjusting her sheitel, she headed to the door as the bell rang again.

“One minute,” she said, wondering who would be so impatient to ring twice. Even the delivery person from Evergreen knew to only ring once.

Peering through the peephole, she saw two men standing in front of her door. They were dressed in suits but their heads were bare and they had no beards. Clearly they were not from around here.

“Yes,” Rivka said through the closed door.

“Rivka Baruch? Agents Weston and Cohen of the FBI. Can we talk with you for a few moments?”

FBI! What could the FBI want to talk to her about? And Agent Cohen, is he a member of the tribe? Should she open the door?

Before she could think twice, though it did occur to her for a moment that she probably should have called YY, she opened the door.

The man on the right, the one who introduced himself as Agent Cohen stared at her. There was something about his eyes ....

“Becky?” he said.

“Oh my ... Joey? Joey Cohen.”


All the memories of her childhood started flooding her already cluttered mind.
Joey was the little handsome cherubic boy that lived down her grandmothers street. Whenever Rivka visited Grandma , Joey would come traipsing down the block to say "Hi". She loved playing princess and he was of course the prince . They spent hours and hours in the Land of Make Believe until she became a teenager. And then everything changed.
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SuperWify









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 8:23 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
All the memories of her childhood started flooding her already cluttered mind.
Joey was the little handsome cherubic boy that lived down her grandmothers street. Whenever Rivka visited Grandma , Joey would come traipsing down the block to say "Hi". She loved playing princess and he was of course the prince . They spent hours and hours in the Land of Make Believe until she became a teenager. And then everything changed.


SuperWify as editor-

We must cut this scene out! No inappropriate references such as these can be published. Not at all appropriate for the Next Great Jewish Novel.
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dancingqueen









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 8:29 pm
Love this thread. Laugh
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Rubber Ducky









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 8:35 pm
SuperWify wrote:
SuperWify as editor-

We must cut this scene out! No inappropriate references such as these can be published. Not at all appropriate for the Next Great Jewish Novel.
We can just frum it up a little. Remember, she's a BT. Like this:

...They spent hours and hours in the Land of Make Believe until she started kindergarten. And then everything changed.
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