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My child sleeps in my bed
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amother




Salmon


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 9:43 pm
Every. Single. Night.
This child is 5 years old. How do I stop this?
Child starts out in own bed and then shows up sometime in the middle of the night.
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oneofakind









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 9:45 pm
Is he afraid or just a bad habit? If it's a bad habit, if you are able, take him back to his room, bribe him, lock your door. If it's anxiety, treat it.
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thanks









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 10:09 pm
Make a behavior plan and reward the child for staying in his/her own bed.

Does (s)he just walk in to your room?
My bedroom door is always locked. If a kid knocks,I get out of bed, and walk the kid back to bed. Sometimes I lay with them in their own bed, but never in mine.

If you want professional help, speak to a bcba.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 10:13 pm
thanks wrote:
Make a behavior plan and reward the child for staying in his/her own bed.

Does (s)he just walk in to your room?
My bedroom door is always locked. If a kid knocks,I get out of bed, and walk the kid back to bed. Sometimes I lay with them in their own bed, but never in mine.

If you want professional help, speak to a bcba.


Thank you.

Tired a chart, bribing.

I used to walk the child back to bed but child would come back to my bed 5 minutes after I left.

What’s a bcba?
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Surrendered









  


Post  Wed, Dec 05 2018, 10:16 pm
You're not alone!!! Same same boat!!! Iyh he will be out of your bed before he gets married (and way sooner hopefully). Enjoy the moment with him... yup, I attest- it's not ez...
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thanks









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:02 am
Bcba =board certified behavior analyst.
How does the child come to your bed? If your door is open, you can and (s) he just walks in, your allowing this to continue.
Do or to my bedroom is always locked.
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Teomima









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:10 am
You walk him back. Again. And again. And again. And again. You will go through several nights without sleeping. But eventually he will get the picture.
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octopus









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:20 am
I cannot go without a couple of nights sleep.Sorry. I get sick. That doesn't help anyone. Granted, my method takes longer to phase out, but it does work eventually. I put a mattress on my bedroom floor, (yes it's annoying but it works for me). You need to come in? Not in my bed! Go to the mattress. Eventually they stop coming in altogether although some kids it took a year for this to stop.
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Culturedpearls









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:21 am
Behavior annalyst? Seriously?
5yo is a baby! He wants his mommy plain & simple.
Give him the security of knowing he can always come to you. Enjoy the cuddles.
Time passes to quickly.
Some of mine rarely came to my bed. Others every night. Sometimes 2 at a time.
Let me tell you they needed no behavior analysts , therapists or any other intervention!!
They wanted me & I fulfilled that need.
They’re B”H well adjusted independent adults.
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octopus









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:22 am
Culturedpearls wrote:
Behavior annalyst? Seriously?
5yo is a baby! He wants his mommy plain & simple.
Give him the security of knowing he can always come to you. Enjoy the cuddles.
Time passes to quickly.
Some of mine rarely came to my bed. Others every night. Sometimes 2 at a time.
Let me tell you they needed no behavior analysts , therapists or any other intervention!!
They wanted me & I fulfilled that need.
They’re B”H well adjusted independent adults.


I love your post!
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cinnamon









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 8:39 am
We did the mattress on the floor when my big ones were little and I had no room in my bed for both of them it worked really well for us.
Now some of my kids will come sleep in my bed sometimes (even the eleven year old!)
I just let them. I have a big enough bed and we all get a good night's sleep so why not?
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Jeanette









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 9:53 am
Culturedpearls wrote:
Behavior annalyst? Seriously?
5yo is a baby! He wants his mommy plain & simple.
Give him the security of knowing he can always come to you. Enjoy the cuddles.
Time passes to quickly.
Some of mine rarely came to my bed. Others every night. Sometimes 2 at a time.
Let me tell you they needed no behavior analysts , therapists or any other intervention!!
They wanted me & I fulfilled that need.
They’re B”H well adjusted independent adults.


I agree with this post. Don't let other people convince you that there's something pathologic about letting your kids come in to your bedroom or sleep in your bed. Different things work for different families. If it's disturbing your sleep then you need to phase it out. If you can live with it and everyone is happy, don't worry about anyone else's opinion.
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amother




Mauve


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 10:24 am
Culturedpearls wrote:
Behavior annalyst? Seriously?
5yo is a baby! He wants his mommy plain & simple.
Give him the security of knowing he can always come to you. Enjoy the cuddles.
Time passes to quickly.
Some of mine rarely came to my bed. Others every night. Sometimes 2 at a time.
Let me tell you they needed no behavior analysts , therapists or any other intervention!!
They wanted me & I fulfilled that need.
They’re B”H well adjusted independent adults.

This is so refreshing to hear! So many people panic that if a kid still comes to their room at X age, they'll never cut the apron strings. Some kids just need to be close to their parents at night, this is a normal need! My best friend is from a large family. She and many of her siblings frequently came into their parents' bed at night, some were still doing it at bar/bat mitzvah age. Of the children who are currently grown, all are successful adults, either in college or successful professionals and the oldest few are all married with kids of their own, so clearly they've managed to grow up normally despite cosleeping past an acceptable age.

I will say, it is important that parents get enough sleep to function, so if the arrangement is disrupting sleep, they should do something about it. Perhaps a mattress on the floor, so the kid can still feel the security of being close to the parents without sharing a bed. Happens to be, we have a king bed and a futon that dh sleeps on when I'm nidah. If I'm not nidah, a child who comes in at night will go to the futon. If I am nidah, a child that comes in will go to my bed, and I usually don't notice, because it's no different than sharing with dh. And for those who will inevitably ask, no, my kids have never had any questions about why dh is sometimes on the futon. They assume he just feels like it sometimes.
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amother




Powderblue


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 10:34 am
In this club as well:(
My seven year old comes every single night. He is scared of I don't know what....it changes nightly. He went to therapy all last year and it barely helped with this issue but helped with others very much. It's very very annoying since he is up multiple times a night.
I go back to his bed with him until I physically can't and then he comes to mine or dh. It's annoying cuz I feel like we have no night sometimes. I do lock the door so we have some time without a barge in.
We sleep together when not niddah and I don't care if ds knows this as I think it's healthy for him to see we love each other. He won't get it anyways since it's his norm.
He won't even lay alone in his room. He freaks out.

If anyone has ideas for me I would love them. My 6 year old sometimes comes also and my two year old just barely.
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nchr









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 11:11 am
Nip this in the bud ASAP. My children have never slept in my bed, so wouldn't have good tips on how to transition out, but watch supper nanny and follow her advice.
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amother




Goldenrod


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 11:33 am
amother wrote:

We sleep together when niddah


Is that a mistake?
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Rappel









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 11:41 am
DS2 started coming into our room every night. Once in a while, I can handle, but I don't sleep well with children next to me (my brain is always checking if they're okay), and I need my sleep to be a good mom the next day.

Solution: We put up a baby gate to make sure he can't leave the bedroom niche of the house, and we now lock our door. It's heaven.

They start playing and chatting at 4: 30 am? Not my problem, theyre safe. He pickets outside my room and says "Imma, good morning!" For an hour straight? No problem. I can get out of bed when I want, get dressed like a human being, and greet him with a smile when I'm ready to face the world. It makes such a difference.
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amother




Babypink


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 11:53 am
the mattress on the floor could also be used as baby steps - move it further and further away from your bed, towards the door, into the hallway, and into your child's room.
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amother




Powderblue


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 11:58 am
amother wrote:
Is that a mistake?


Obviously
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ectomorph









  


Post  Thu, Dec 06 2018, 12:22 pm
2 of my kids do this I think it's normal. I just put them back if I can't handle it. After 4 am I let them stay.
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