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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
Seagreen
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Fri, Dec 07 2018, 2:16 pm
How not to get sucked into their drama and power struggles? We're all happy and content, except for the 1 tween or young teen who's having melt downs because the world is ending because it's so unfair that I asked him to clean up the toys or sweep the floor on an erev shabbos!
I'm usually good at staying calm, but sometimes I get sucked in. How do I stay detached? That's the other thing. When I stay calm, I get completely ignored. Argh.
I know this has been discussed before, I'm just looking for chizuk or pointers.
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Cheiny
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Fri, Dec 07 2018, 2:22 pm
amother wrote: | How not to get sucked into their drama and power struggles? We're all happy and content, except for the 1 tween or young teen who's having melt downs because the world is ending because it's so unfair that I asked him to clean up the toys or sweep the floor on an erev shabbos!
I'm usually good at staying calm, but sometimes I get sucked in. How do I stay detached? That's the other thing. When I stay calm, I get completely ignored. Argh.
I know this has been discussed before, I'm just looking for chizuk or pointers. |
If you feel you can’t remain calm, just leave the room and refuse to engage. You have a right to expect the child to help with chores. Just express your expectation quietly and calmly. Let them rant all they want.
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FranticFrummie
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Sat, Dec 08 2018, 11:40 am
OP, this is perfectly normal. Not OK to be disrespected, but so normal for teen behavior. Do. Not. Engage.
Repeat to yourself, as often as needed, "This too shall pass."
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amother
Seagreen
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Sat, Dec 08 2018, 8:44 pm
FranticFrummie wrote: | OP, this is perfectly normal. Not OK to be disrespected, but so normal for teen behavior. Do. Not. Engage.
Repeat to yourself, as often as needed, "This too shall pass." |
Thanks for this! Five minutes after I posted, we were all buddies again. Have to wrok on remembering this in the moment
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dankbar
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Sun, Dec 09 2018, 2:22 pm
Some like to have their own control so give him a list of chores that has to get done but don't look & keep telling him or be on top....just at end of the day it has to be done. He decides when & how.
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