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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Chizzuk please



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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Fri, Dec 07 2018, 2:16 pm
How not to get sucked into their drama and power struggles? We're all happy and content, except for the 1 tween or young teen who's having melt downs because the world is ending because it's so unfair that I asked him to clean up the toys or sweep the floor on an erev shabbos!

I'm usually good at staying calm, but sometimes I get sucked in. How do I stay detached? That's the other thing. When I stay calm, I get completely ignored. Argh.

I know this has been discussed before, I'm just looking for chizuk or pointers.
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Cheiny




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 07 2018, 2:22 pm
amother wrote:
How not to get sucked into their drama and power struggles? We're all happy and content, except for the 1 tween or young teen who's having melt downs because the world is ending because it's so unfair that I asked him to clean up the toys or sweep the floor on an erev shabbos!

I'm usually good at staying calm, but sometimes I get sucked in. How do I stay detached? That's the other thing. When I stay calm, I get completely ignored. Argh.

I know this has been discussed before, I'm just looking for chizuk or pointers.


If you feel you can’t remain calm, just leave the room and refuse to engage. You have a right to expect the child to help with chores. Just express your expectation quietly and calmly. Let them rant all they want.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 08 2018, 11:40 am
OP, this is perfectly normal. Not OK to be disrespected, but so normal for teen behavior. Do. Not. Engage.

Repeat to yourself, as often as needed, "This too shall pass."
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Sat, Dec 08 2018, 8:44 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
OP, this is perfectly normal. Not OK to be disrespected, but so normal for teen behavior. Do. Not. Engage.

Repeat to yourself, as often as needed, "This too shall pass."


Thanks for this! Five minutes after I posted, we were all buddies again. Confused Have to wrok on remembering this in the moment
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 09 2018, 2:22 pm
Some like to have their own control so give him a list of chores that has to get done but don't look & keep telling him or be on top....just at end of the day it has to be done. He decides when & how.
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