Support group based on book "empowered wife"

ectomorph

Mon, Feb 18 2019, 3:59 pm

amother wrote:

I would be very interested in such a group!!! I recently started reading the empowered wife after seeing it recommended here so strongly. I see myself in a lot of it. Especially the importance of having friends to talk to. I don't have that and haven't for a really long time!! I am sure that it would benefit my shalom Bayis but I have been unsuccessful making friends for so long I have given up Sad

!!!

Chaya juravels support group is great and she makes friend shidduchim

amother

Blonde

Mon, Feb 18 2019, 7:46 pm

ectomorph wrote:

a lot of people were uncomfortable with the term surrendered wife so she switched its to empowered wife

Seems pretty practical to me

By surrendered she never meant that you give up your entire will to your husband. That's what people took it to mean

Ectomorph, are you sure you are not Laura Doyle or a member of her publishing team? I frequently see you plugging her book on here.

sarahmalka

Mon, Feb 18 2019, 8:15 pm

amother wrote:

Ectomorph, are you sure you are not Laura Doyle or a member of her publishing team? I frequently see you plugging her book on here.

I don't know if you meant this to be obnoxious but it sure comes across that way. Especially under the cover of amother.

BTW I took surrendered to mean surrendering control I.e., stop trying to control your husband.
Can't there be a closed section on this site, a subgroup, as a support group?

ectomorph

Mon, Feb 18 2019, 8:28 pm

Lol, I am definitely not laura doyle.

However her work has helped me a lot.

I also recommend "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" on parenting threads.

Both are practical communication strategies that are helpful for all humans.

ectomorph

Mon, Feb 18 2019, 8:30 pm

And just to clarify I am not the writer of how to talk so kids will listen either. I just think it has so many helpful tips and structure.

ectomorph

Mon, Feb 18 2019, 8:54 pm

Yes it is a once a week class + once a week q and a + a texting based anonymized support group. I recently completed it and enjoyed it very much.

I enjoyed how she placed laura doyles ideas into a Torah framework. Laura doyle has no children and she was also able to adapt her ideas to suit a family with children.

urban gypsy

Mon, Feb 18 2019, 10:50 pm

imasoftov wrote:

To blazes with them both, not because of either of their religious beliefs but because of each of their execrable ideas about marriage.

ectomorph

Mon, Feb 18 2019, 11:51 pm

If you don't like it don't read it. It happens to be very helpful for many people.

call/text 216 635-8421 - I think thats the number.

Personally I got most of what I got from reading the book. After that I enjoyed the class for more of a torah perspective.

The main issue I have w the book is that she doesn't have kids. I thought the group did a good job of remedying that.

imasoftov

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 5:42 am

ectomorph wrote:

If you don't like it don't read it. It happens to be very helpful for many people.

They used to think that about lobotomies.

ectomorph

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 7:42 am

imasoftov wrote:

They used to think that about lobotomies.

Are you Laura Doyle, using reverse psychology to build the book up?

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 1:10 pm

amother wrote:

Why would you look to a non-religious person for advice?

This always amazes me when I see religious women reading self help books and books on child rearing from non-religious non-shomer shabbos jews.

What wisdom do you think they can offer you?

They are just trying to sell books and have no real solutions.

Look to Torah instead, there are plenty of Rabbis who speak on Shalom Bayis. I just heard a lecture by Rabbi Manis Friedman for free on Youtube on this topic which was great.

This is too funny. As I was reading the beginning of your post I was going to post the following comment, but now it's too funny.
I was going to say that Rabbi Manis Friedman says to read the surrendered wife. I was at a course in BP where he said explicitly to read it. And when one asked "isn't it secular" he responded that no, the secular took this from us Very Happy

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 1:13 pm

sarahmalka wrote:

I heard a nice piece from MRs. R. Spitzer (she gives parenting and self-work classes). She said we are in essence surrendering to Hashem, with what comes our way, whether it's our husband or anyone else causing things to happen.

urban gypsy

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 1:16 pm

amother wrote:

I was going to say that Rabbi Manis Friedman says to read the surrendered wife. I was at a course in BP where he said explicitly to read it. And when one asked "isn't it secular" he responded that no, the secular took this from us Very Happy

OH NO are you serious??? Two heads of the hydra!!!

imasoftov

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 6:10 am

ectomorph wrote:

Are you Laura Doyle, using reverse psychology to build the book up?

Are you trying to avenge one of the murdered marriage counselors?

Simple1

Wed, Feb 20 2019, 7:39 am

I was one of those who couldn't stomache the idea of a surrendered, submissive wife. But then I took her other book, "First Kill..." out of the library to see what all the hype is about.

And it was NOT at all about being submissive. In fact, just the opposite! Don't do for your husband what he can do himself. Learn to say "I can't." Treat yourself to self care - don't even ask huband first, just do it.

Some of these suggestions would've had my traditonal parents and in-laws horrified! My MIL, for example, would even prepare cereal and milk for FIL.

So I agree you need to read it before you comment . (And as with any book, take what works, and ignore the rest.)