First minyan taking food to go (kiddush) before dh minyan

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:06 pm

What do you think of this scenario? Whenever we make a kiddush midweek for a yahrtzeit, men from first minyan (before dh minyan) see the bags of danishes cake and other food, and take from it to go, before dh minyan finished davening even. I don't mind if they take to go if there's extra. But to reach into the bags before the food is set up and take to go, or even if it was set up, do you think it's right to take before dh minyan finishes davening? And of course this entails buying double the amount plus more--if they take extra to go.

flowerpower

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:12 pm

If they’re packing up their serving then it’s fine. But if they’re taking breakfast, lunch, and snack then it’s piggish. You can hang a sign in a cheerful way that says leave some for the next minyan(tacky though) , put out a little and have dh refill at his minyan, or hide it until they leave!!!

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:24 pm

you don't take before the baal simcha's minyan is done davening- especially not to go! often times its just one minyan that is "sponsored". can you put out the food after the first minyan leaves?

Iymnok

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:39 pm

Maybe if he brings it in a cardboard box that’s taped shut. Separately put out a couple plates for the earlier minyan if he wants.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:44 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Maybe if he brings it in a cardboard box that’s taped shut. .

Agree. If its a purchase for second minyan only - keep it sealed up out of sight.

watergirl

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:44 pm

Harried mama wrote:

Definitely rude, but who makes kiddush during the week?

When its my mothers yartzeit, dh brings mezonos to minyan and puts a sign to make a bracha llui neshama with her name. Sefardim take it one step further and leave food of every bracha. At night, I have a gathering of my close friends and we make a “bracha party” with all of the brachas and I give a dvar torah in her name.

Cheiny

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:46 pm

amother wrote:

It’s absolutely wrong but in all fairness, perhaps they don’t realize it’s not for them. He should keep it closed in a bag until after his minyan, then take it out,,,or else label it and cover it, asking that it not be opened until whatever time.

Last edited by Cheiny on Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:47 pm; edited 1 time in total

Harried mama

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:46 pm

I've seen people bring mezonos to shul for a yartzeit, but I've never heard it being referred to as a kiddush unless it's on Shabbos or YT.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:47 pm

or may be a sign saying please take only one so that more people can make a bracha lilui nishmas x ben y Smile

Thank you for your understanding

ra_mom

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 2:52 pm

amother wrote:

When the food is left over from the midweek kiddush, who is it intended for?

SixOfWands

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 3:04 pm

Wasn't there a bazillion page thread on this recently?

Its never appropriate to take food "to go" unless the sponsor tells you to do so.

If its being eaten at shul by a minyan its not intended for, the only option is not to put it out until later.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 5:37 pm

amother wrote:

you don't take before the baal simcha's minyan is done davening- especially not to go! often times its just one minyan that is "sponsored". can you put out the food after the first minyan leaves?

They take before it's even put out. Some even bring bags with them to take in addition to what they eat there. Again, it's fine to take to go your portion after the person who bought the food is finished davening, but not before.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 5:40 pm

amother wrote:

You can't change the culture.

You can hide/conceal the food.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 5:40 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Maybe if he brings it in a cardboard box that’s taped shut. Separately put out a couple plates for the earlier minyan if he wants.

Thanks but not sure they wont just open the box.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 5:43 pm

Harried mama wrote:

I've seen people bring mezonos to shul for a yartzeit, but I've never heard it being referred to as a kiddush unless it's on Shabbos or YT.

Its the wrong word but im used to it!

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 5:46 pm

amother wrote:

You can't change the culture.

You can hide/conceal the food.

I agree with you, but not going to hide food.

amother

Lemon

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 5:50 pm

This thread reminds me of the recent uninvited alcoholic showing up to a Kiddush...right down to the op's seemingly refusal to entertain any possible solutions & trying to elicit more rebuttals. Just sayin....

amother

Lavender

Thu, Dec 13 2018, 5:54 pm

amother wrote:

I agree with you, but not going to hide food.

So this was a post to complain about men behaving badly?