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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Want to call seminary, but venting here..



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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 9:41 pm
DD is in seminary in Israel and loving the learning, but she has become a bit frustrated with some of her room mates cleanliness habits or lack there of. I thought she was just type A personality- hates cabinet doors opened, likes things put away, can't stand dirty dishes piling up in the sink- to the point that things are getting moldy(I told her she should offer to wash their dishes for 10shek!) I really thought it was just her, but as she was talking to me on the phone she asked me to hold on. When she got back on the phone she told me, one of the girls was throwing a dirty cup into the garbage and missed. My daughter called out to her- hey you missed and the response was it's ok- the cleaning people are coming in two days- what!!!!!!!!! Now that is disgusting- aside from a huge chillul hashem. I really want to call the school and have them have a talk with the whole school- cuz that really is awful- but I won't. Thanks for letting me get it out of my system.
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esuss




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 10:06 pm
I think your daughter should have a talk with house mother or someone else from administration to do just that. They should come around to make an inspection.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 10:08 pm
In dd's dirah half the kids clean- the other half sit around pretending to clean. No one wants to "tattle."
It's still a chutzpah to not pick up your own trash!!
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 10:17 pm
I hear the frustration, but why would you call the seminary?

Your daughter is an adult, and presumably you sent her to EY to learn some independence and some interpersonal skills.

Don't you think it would be a valuable learning experience for her to speak to the Hanhala and respectfully learn how to handle this type of situation? She's too old to still be worried about being a "snitch". In the workplace, she will have to know how to politely and appropriately assert herself.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, Dec 17 2018, 10:21 pm
debsey wrote:
I hear the frustration, but why would you call the seminary?

Your daughter is an adult, and presumably you sent her to EY to learn some independence and some interpersonal skills.

Don't you think it would be a valuable learning experience for her to speak to the Hanhala and respectfully learn how to handle this type of situation? She's too old to still be worried about being a "snitch". In the workplace, she will have to know how to politely and appropriately assert herself.


I agree with this, aside from your last couple of sentences. It's a much trickier balance when the ones you're snitching on happen to be roommates that you have to spend the rest of the school year literally living with. So yes, I would encourage her to talk to someone and hopefully establish some school wide rules, but acknowledge that she probably doesn't want her roommates finding out that she initiated it.
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