Home

Torn about piercing baby's ears
  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




Gold


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:02 am
I just had my first girl after many boys and am really enjoying dressing her up in pretty pink girly clothing and bracelets. I always thought that if I would have a girl, I would pierce her ears from the start. Now that she's here, I'm having a hard time with the thought of electively inflicting pain upon her just for my enjoyment. I'm not the type who struggles with my babies getting blood tests or vaccines since I know they're for their own benefit and the pain is short lived, but with ear piercing, even though the pain is just as short, it's totally unnecessary and really just for my own fun.

Recently I was discussing this with a teenage girl relative, and she made a point which made me think again. She said that she has a few friends who never pierced their ears and really want to but are too afraid of the pain. They wish their parents would have had it done to them when they were babies and too young to be afraid. She thinks I would actually be doing her a chessed by getting them pierced when she's still this young. She also said that it hurts much less on tiny babies.

I would love to hear opinions on this.
Back to top

DrMom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:12 am
Personally, I think pierced earrings on babies are silly and unnecessary. Babies don't need adornment -- they are perfect and beautiful and soft and cuddly just the way they are. And pierced earrings can be dangerous (lobes can tear from the baby pulling on it, etc.).

It's not a big deal to do it when your daughter is older. It really does not hurt that much.
Back to top

salt




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:15 am
DrMom wrote:
Personally, I think pierced earrings on babies are silly and unnecessary. Babies don't need adornment -- they are perfect and beautiful and soft and cuddly just the way they are. And pierced earrings can be dangerous (lobes can tear from the baby pulling on it, etc.).

It's not a big deal to do it when your daughter is older. It really does not hurt that much.


Completely agree. My 2 oldest DDs got their ears pierced at aged 12 and 10.
It really does not hurt.
Back to top

rowo




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:48 am
I like to wait till they are old enough to make the decision themselves.
I originally thought to wait till bas mitzvah, but my oldest dd wanted it to badly, was begging for years, that we got it for her 8th birthday.
This is a kid that won't let me take out a splinter and makes a huge drama about any pain. But she wanted this so badly, she was able to deal with it.
I've never heard of teenagers being to afraid of the pain to get their ears pierced... it's really not THAT painful 🤷‍♀️
Back to top

SuperWify




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 6:12 am
Newborn is best.

Toddler age is the worst and even older girls have hard to time with pulling the ears, losing the earrings and having a hole close ect.
Back to top

amother




Slateblue


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 6:24 am
SuperWify wrote:
Newborn is best.

Toddler age is the worst and even older girls have hard to time with pulling the ears, losing the earrings and having a hole close ect.

I agree. I pierced my baby's ears when she was a few months old. She cried for maybe 20 seconds and she never pulled on them at all. It didn't bother her. She's almost 2 and it's just a part of her. I love the look and I think babies look adorable with earrings.

I wouldn't do it to a toddler, that is the worst age. IMO, if you miss the window before 9 months, then you will probably have to wait until DD asks and can take care of it herself.

I can't imagine a teenager being that scared of the pain. Menstrual cramps hurt more than getting your ears pierced.
Back to top

blessedjmom




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:12 am
Agree that newborn is best time to do it . They cry for a few seconds and then it's there. And I think earrings are adorable on little girls. (Put bacitracin on for the first 2 weeks...)

My friend had them done now for her 4 Year old that was begging for them . Poor kid. Seeing her made me happy I had them done when baby was little.
And my 2 yr old is so proud of them.

I do understand the idea of not wanting to pierce baby's ears...

Good luck with your decision. And Mazel tov!
Back to top

daagahminayin




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:15 am
Since you asked... I think apart from the pain and risk of infection, you have to consider whether it’s ethical to make a permanent change to domeone else’s body for the sake of your enjoyment. (I say permanent because even when a ear piercing hole closes up that part isn’t the same as before.) You might assume that your daughter will be happy you did this for her but you have no guarantee. Nowadays there is a strong emphasis on giving our kids the message that their bodies belong to them. Piercing a baby’s ears appears to run counter to that.
Back to top

Simple1




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:25 am
daagahminayin wrote:
Since you asked... I think apart from the pain and risk of infection, you have to consider whether it’s ethical to make a permanent change to domeone else’s body for the sake of your enjoyment. (I say permanent because even when a ear piercing hole closes up that part isn’t the same as before.) You might assume that your daughter will be happy you did this for her but you have no guarantee. Nowadays there is a strong emphasis on giving our kids the message that their bodies belong to them. Piercing a baby’s ears appears to run counter to that.


On a practical level, the chances of her regretting it is negligible.
Back to top

Simple1




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:32 am
I waited till my dds were old enough to ask. That ranged from ages 4-11.

I myself got my ears pierced as an adult in my 30s. I was nervous to do it, but I don't remember it really hurting much. I don't think it's a sharp pain like vaccines or other needles. It can be scary, so I see why parents would want to do while they are too young to know.


Last edited by Simple1 on Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:36 am; edited 3 times in total
Back to top

amother




Turquoise


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:34 am
I absolutely hate babies with pierced ears. They aren’t dolls they are real people & guess what people don’t need earrings!!!
My own daughters asked around 8-10 & happily got them even though I wanted to wait till 12 . However, it was their choice not me wanting to play dollies.
When my dil had my granddaughters ears pierced I said nothing. She kept gushing how cute the baby looked while I shut my mouth thinking the baby was not a toy & it’s time to outgrow dolls.
PS I had many sons before my daughters were born & while I enjoy dressing all my kids well I won’t subject them to stupidity because someone decided that it’s cute. Would you pierce her nose? Why not?
Back to top

nchr




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:34 am
I dont like earrings on babies. The vast majority of people would not avoid getting something they want because of potential pain (btw an ear piercing does not hurt) so only someone with a major phobia etc so you dont need to worry about it.
Back to top

simcha2




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:35 am
Simple1 wrote:
On a practical level, the chances of her regretting it is negligible.


It's not to do with her regretting it. It's to do with the message you are giving your child,
a) your body is not solely yours, others can change and modify it. b) you need extra adornment to be acceptable and beautiful

They are both really negative messages.

When a child, teen or woman chooses for herself to have her ears pierced it is showing bodily autonomy.
Back to top

flowerpower




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:42 am
My girls all got their ears peirced at 2-3 weeks old. They didn’t cry at all. Not even for a second. The older they are the harder it is- I heard from others that did that.
Back to top

SuperWify




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:43 am
simcha2 wrote:
It's not to do with her regretting it. It's to do with the message you are giving your child,
a) your body is not solely yours, others can change and modify it. b) you need extra adornment to be acceptable and beautiful

They are both really negative messages.

When a child, teen or woman chooses for herself to have her ears pierced it is showing bodily autonomy.


Wow. My mom had my ears pierced while I was still a baby and I never once thought, “how dare she change my body without my permission??”

I really don’t think children- or even now reflecting as adults and I’m a pretty deep thinker- will understand and think too deeply into this.
Back to top

Simple1




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:44 am
simcha2 wrote:
It's not to do with her regretting it. It's to do with the message you are giving your child,
a) your body is not solely yours, others can change and modify it. b) you need extra adornment to be acceptable and beautiful

They are both really negative messages.

When a child, teen or woman chooses for herself to have her ears pierced it is showing bodily autonomy.


This is one reason I pushed off doing it. But really that's overthinking. It's just a fun thing that girls and women do, nothing more.

ETA superwify, you said it well.


Last edited by Simple1 on Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:45 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

simcha2




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:45 am
SuperWify wrote:
Wow. My mom had my ears pierced while I was still a baby and I never once thought, “how dare she change my body without my permission??”

I really don’t think children- or even now reflecting as adults and I’m a pretty deep thinker- will understand and think too deeply into this.


Seeing as I clearly did, I'll disagree with you.
Back to top

ally




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:57 am
I went with my grandmother to get my ears pierced around my bar mitzvah and it is a memory I treasure.

I also think babies look silly with earrings - especially bald ones. And agree with posters saying it should be the child’s choice. Honestly, if I felt I had a choice, I would let my child choose to have a brit as well.
Back to top

amother




Puce


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 8:03 am
I wouldn't do that until the girls are old enough to basically take care of the cleaning, changing, and all themselves. Sometimes the piercings get infected or irritated. Babies and toddlers are too young to even be around the small pieces of the studs and backings (yes I know these problems are not common). At least 8 if a child really wants and doesn't want to wait until bas mitzvah though it is nice to wait and then people can give earrings as gifts, its special, and for a "big girl". The piercings were no big deal at all.
Back to top

moonstone




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Dec 19 2018, 8:42 am
amother wrote:
I agree. I pierced my baby's ears when she was a few months old. She cried for maybe 20 seconds and she never pulled on them at all. It didn't bother her. She's almost 2 and it's just a part of her. I love the look and I think babies look adorable with earrings.

I wouldn't do it to a toddler, that is the worst age. IMO, if you miss the window before 9 months, then you will probably have to wait until DD asks and can take care of it herself.

I can't imagine a teenager being that scared of the pain. Menstrual cramps hurt more than getting your ears pierced.


And you think the bolded is a bad thing? I think it's the right thing to do. Wait until they're old enough to want it for themselves.

I find earrings on a baby to be repulsive. Babies don't need jewelry, especially jewelry that requires piercing their ears! Why not go all the way and put makeup and tiny heels on them, too?

Ear piercing isn't a necessary medical procedure that NEEDS to be done when theyre babies so they won't remember the pain. They should be old enough to decide for themselves if they want pierced ears, and if they're willing to withstand the pain (which really isn't even that bad). I had mine pierced when I was 9. It was a decision *I* made.

I find it absolutely ridiculous that there are Jewish communities where this is a sort of community standard that everybody does. Feh.
Back to top
  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 7 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Needle ear piercing in brooklyn
by amother
13 Mon, Nov 11 2019, 1:54 pm View last post
by nchr
Ears sticking out
by amother
5 Thu, Nov 07 2019, 11:07 pm View last post
Balls behind ears diet - boro park
by amother
3 Tue, Oct 29 2019, 2:53 pm View last post
Repairing a torn earlobe in bklyn
by amother
2 Fri, Oct 25 2019, 10:55 am View last post
[ Poll ] Did you/ would you pierce your baby's ears?
by amother
97 Sun, Aug 18 2019, 9:37 am View last post

Jump to: