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Chayalle


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:42 am
simcha2 wrote: | If you didn't like how earrings looked on infants or young girls, would you still take them on the assumption that they will likely want them? |
Very hard to know what I would do if I didn't like them, since I'm fine with them.
My reasons for piercing my girls' ears as newborns are:
1. I like the way it looks
2. I was 99.99% sure my girls would want them. I think I am doing them a favor doing it for them. They won't be afraid, they won't have to beg for it, etc...
3. I don't think it will impact their respect of their own bodies, any more than the 1000 other decisions I make as a mother on their behalf. I see no evidence that it has affected them negatively.
4. I find that the pain seems negligible for them. We can't know, because they can't tell us, but my personal experience was that my girls cried more every time I changed their diapers.
5. I had my own experience with same to fall back on - never was upset at my mother for piercing my ears, don't feel she did something to my body I didn't want, etc...
6. After following the instructions for sterilizing their ears every day with a dab of a solution given to me, none of my girls had any issues with infections, etc...
I'm sure I left out some reasons, but these were enough for me.
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cm


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:51 am
amother wrote: | So is piercing her eyes your reward for taking care of her? |
I really, really hope this is a typo.
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momsrus


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:54 am
newborn earrings need way less care than older kids earrings
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imasoftov


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:16 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I had earrings for my kiddush |
I understand each word but not how they form a sentence.
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imasoftov


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:17 pm
amother wrote: | Belong to have earrings? Huh? |
I'm not even sure what she was trying to say.
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SixOfWands


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:22 pm
amother wrote: | Simcha2, we can do with our babies as we see fit, we dont need their consent on anything. They depend on us for life. Earrings dont scar girls for life and they're not dangerous. |
(1) Earrings do scar for life. I have 3 holes in each ear. I allowed the 3rd hole to close decades ago; its still clearly visible. There's also a risk of keloids.
(2) You cannot do whatever you see fit with your baby. 4 in 10 adults have a tattoo, and the numbers are increasing. But its still illegal to tattoo anyone under the age of 18, even with parental permission (in NY -- other states may vary). You can't decide not to educate your child. You can't decide that your child is old enough to stay home alone at age 5.
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bunchagirlies


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:33 pm
my mother didn't pierce mine and my sister's ears until we asked for it. I was 8. I was TERRIFIED, and although it doesnt happen by everyone, my ears kept getting infected, and needed to be repierced at least twice more. Infection is WAY more common in older kids.
I always promised myself that my baby girls will get earrings as young as possible. I did it for all my girls before 2 months old, and I've never regretted it. 2 of them just gave a little yelp by each pierce, without continuing to cry at all.
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simcha2


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:34 pm
Chayalle wrote: | Very hard to know what I would do if I didn't like them, since I'm fine with them.
My reasons for piercing my girls' ears as newborns are:
1. I like the way it looks
2. I was 99.99% sure my girls would want them. I think I am doing them a favor doing it for them. They won't be afraid, they won't have to beg for it, etc...
3. I don't think it will impact their respect of their own bodies, any more than the 1000 other decisions I make as a mother on their behalf. I see no evidence that it has affected them negatively.
4. I find that the pain seems negligible for them. We can't know, because they can't tell us, but my personal experience was that my girls cried more every time I changed their diapers.
5. I had my own experience with same to fall back on - never was upset at my mother for piercing my ears, don't feel she did something to my body I didn't want, etc...
6. After following the instructions for sterilizing their ears every day with a dab of a solution given to me, none of my girls had any issues with infections, etc...
I'm sure I left out some reasons, but these were enough for me. |
They're all reasonable reasons. I personally think that teaching and showing my daughter that she had bodily autonomy, and she is beautiful just as Hashem made her override those reasons. You don't have to make the same calculation, but I think denying that those are also valid considerations "because everyone does it, she'll probably want and it's cute" is not logical.
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flowerpower


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:36 pm
I don’t see why anyone gets riled up about others piecing their babys ears. You do what you want and we do what we want!!!! To each their own!!!! My kids never had an issue with me piercing their ears “without permission”. If anything they thank me for doing it before they remember the pain. We choose earrings together when they need a new pair. It’s a special occasion. The same or even more special than taking your 12 year old to get her ears pierced.
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Sebastian


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:38 pm
simcha2 wrote: | Frequently. Can't believe that you can't perceive that women do this.
But this conversation is about babies, and I think we can all agree that Hashem made our daughters perfect in their natural beauty. |
ditto. I have sensitive ears and rarely wear earings.
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SixOfWands


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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:40 pm
amother wrote: | Omg some of you make it sound like we're butchering our babies by piercing their ears. We can comfortably assume that 99% of girls will want their ears pierced and will be happy that it was done when they where a baby. |
Since 10% to 20% of women don't have their ears pierced, we can safely assume that your statistic is wrong.
Nor do we know how many women have pierced ears, but don't wear earrings. I know several.
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