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Forum
-> Judaism
-> Halachic Questions and Discussions
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amother
Copper
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 Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:18 pm
I feel so silly about this question. I grew up Ashkenazi and recently got married to my Sephardic husband. I have a weird phobia of matches - I seriously can't use them - so I usually light a small candle from the stovetop and use that to light the shabbat candles.
Before getting married, I always lit the candles, blew out my lighter-candle, and then said the bracha. But Sephardim say the bracha first, which is really tripping me up! So I say the bracha, and then light the candles, but then I don't know what to do with my lighter-candle because I can't blow it out anymore.
Do I just put it down and let it burn out? Do I drop it on the tinfoil a way that will extinguish it? Do I go back to doing it the Ashkenazi way? Should I just get over my fear of using matches?  I know I can ask a rabbi, but I wondered if there was a generally accepted solution before doing that.
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Prettygirl30
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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:41 pm
So I make sure to light a few minutes before so I say I don't accept shabbat till my candles are lit and my match is put away once my candles are lit and my lighter is put away say now I accept shabbat....
I use a bic lighter
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amother
cornflower
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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:43 pm
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You can still put out the candle after saying the bracha and lighting. Sephardim do not take in Shabbat with the lighting of the candles whereas ashkenaz do. You can read more about it in Yalkut Yosef.
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amother
Copper
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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:50 pm
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Wow, thanks so much! That's really helpful. Everything has been overwhelming with all the new minhagim (not to mention adjusting to sephardi birkat hamazon...) I'll check out Yalkut Yosef.
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Miri7
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Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:54 pm
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Pesach is going to be amazing!!!!
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