First time simcha re invites??

amother

Linen

Wed, Dec 26 2018, 12:36 pm

Have a question that me and my dh are having Re invitations.
Are they split up between girls & boys side? Or do girls side pay whole thing?
I say divided (like why not?? Why should my side pay whole bill)?
He thinks girls side might have to pay whole thing.

Want to know what’s the norm before going to boys mother with question.
She’s not the easiest person to deal with. Can't Believe It

amother

Coffee

Wed, Dec 26 2018, 12:40 pm

amother wrote:

What block in NY do you live on? Norm is community dependent.

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Dec 26 2018, 12:42 pm

I don't quite understand the question. If one side has many more people than the other, they should pay more. Or let the side with fewer people do FLOPS. If the numbers are about equal, it's reasonable to split down the middle. But be as specific as you can, in a nice way, to avoid misunderstandings.

amother

Linen

Wed, Dec 26 2018, 12:47 pm

Question is who pays for the invitations?
We already discussed the wedding itself. The invitations only.

amother

Coffee

Wed, Dec 26 2018, 12:49 pm

amother wrote:

Question is who pays for the invitations?
We already discussed the wedding itself. The invitations only.

The invitations are a wedding cost.

To answer about the the invitations - you need to consider how other expenses are being dealt with.

essie14

Wed, Dec 26 2018, 1:56 pm

In my circles, the wedding costs are split 50-50. So each side pays for half the cost of the invitations.
If you are doing FLOP, then you pay.

Ruchel

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 2:58 am

For the invites I can see each side paying theirs. Also if one hs 50 guests and the other 100.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 5:40 am

The price of invitations are negligible compared to other wedding costs. Not worth fighting or arguing over. Pick your battles. And stay friends for the kids sake.

amother

Linen

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 6:33 am

amother wrote:

The price of invitations are negligible compared to other wedding costs. Not worth fighting or arguing over. Pick your battles. And stay friends for the kids sake.

I appreciate your advice.
Thanks.

crbc

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 6:41 am

My friend just made her first chasuna, they split chasuna cost 2/3 girl, 1/3 boy , girl side payed for all invitations , altho guests were about 50/50

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 7:25 am

I paid for invitations for my daughter's, they paid for my sons. We did flops.

The last wedding, I ordered only a few invitations. We did e-vites mostly. (paperlesspost.com). It's about $. 25 an e-vite. We didn't do it for the money. We did it for the convinience. You can see if your guest got the invitation and read it. Guests can add the eve T to their calendar and get directions with a few clicks. E-vites is not really done in our circles, but we did it anyway.

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 7:25 am

I paid for invitations for my daughter's, they paid for my sons. We did flops.

The last wedding, I ordered only a few invitations. We did e-vites mostly. (paperlesspost.com). It's about $. 25 an e-vite. We didn't do it for the money. We did it for the convinience. You can see if your guest got the invitation and read it. Guests can add the event to their calendar and get directions with a few clicks. E-vites is not really done in our circles, but we did it anyway.

ImaLAEma

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 9:34 am

In my circles, kallah's side pays for invitations, chassan's side for benchers. But definitely agree with not causing fights over such a small thing. Invitations are one of the cheaper parts of the wedding!

watergirl

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 10:07 am

ImaLAEma wrote:

If the invitation is the same price as the bentcher, I wonder what kind of invitations have been ordered!

ImaLAEma

Thu, Dec 27 2018, 10:13 am

Not the same price. But you certainly don't have to get invitations costing thousands of dollars.

Ruchel

Fri, Dec 28 2018, 3:00 am

I've seen gorgeous invites and can't imagine paying like bentcher

amother

Ruby

Fri, Dec 28 2018, 12:23 pm

In my circles people either do 50/50 or FLOPS. I guess it works with either but I'm under the impression that girl pays for invitations and boy pays for benchers. That's what we did and I believe it was the same for my siblings.