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S/o socially awkward
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 11:03 am
I saw an ad for a book which is titled something about Yosef hatzadik being on the spectrum.
I see some very atypical people who have plenty of friends.

I have used the services of the Self Esteem store in Detroit for children's products related to social skills.

And decades after it was published, people still read the book, "How to make friends and influence people" so I think that many people have to learn the social skills that they didn't aquire naturally.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 11:10 am
amother wrote:
Im also respond to the other lady who said that NT people will become abnormal.

Is that a bad thing?
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 11:27 am
crust wrote:
I'm not following.
In a previous post you agreed that if people would accept you you would be less squirmy.

Here you are saying you want to be quirky.

How does one post reconcile with the other?
And after you say you prefer being quirky, why would I believe that you aren't getting the kicks out of getting on someone's nerves?

Its so confusing to me. Please explain.


What's difficult to understand? She's quirky, she likes herself the way she is, and she doesn't enjoy neurotypical people acting like she is some lower form of humanity.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 12:09 pm
amother wrote:
Some of us don’t want to be “normal” and prefer being quirky. I would feel like a failure to pass as normal in a social setting. 🙂


Interesting is better than bland, but normal is good.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 4:43 pm
ra_mom wrote:
I feel bad that the thread hurt you. That was not the intention at all...


Firstly please don't feel bad-I have forgiven you

Secondly it's kind of ironic that you had the experience of hurting someone unintentionally. Should I judge you and write you off aa weird ans awkward for this? no of course not. We are asking for the same. And esp for when we don't even accidentally hurt you, but we are different.

If you (collective you)find socialising easy, why not make more of an effort with people who don't?
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 4:46 pm
amother wrote:
Im also respond to the other lady who said that NT people will become abnormal.


I meant as in majority rules. Not to.actually insult so called NT people but to try to explain that "normal" is really just another way of saying "majority" or "most populous".
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 4:48 pm
Iymnok wrote:
I don’t see love here, tough or otherwise. She did not call anyone else crazy.
Her social skills are probably fine. YOU just have to be sensitive to others and accept that their social interactions differ from yours.

Though it is worth learning how to interact socially in the society in which you live. (Chareidi Israeli is very different than the OOT US where I grew up.)


Thank you lymnok for this post.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 4:51 pm
crust wrote:
I thought that thread was about setting up a shidduch.

No one is better or worse and I don't think anyone said that on that thread.
.


The first sentence is true, which is why I started a spinoff.

The.first half of the second sentence is true, the second half is not. Even if it was said "unintentionally", as to which read my reply to ra_mom above
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 4:53 pm
southernbubby wrote:
I saw an ad for a book which is titled something about Yosef hatzadik being on the spectrum.
I see some very atypical people who have plenty of friends.

I have used the services of the Self Esteem store in Detroit for children's products related to social skills.

And decades after it was published, people still read the book, "How to make friends and influence people" so I think that many people have to learn the social skills that they didn't aquire naturally.


Do you have details of that book about Yosef? sounds interesting.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 5:05 pm
amother wrote:
Do you have details of that book about Yosef? sounds interesting.


I saw the ad in the Jewish Press
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 5:52 pm
crust wrote:
I'm not following.
In a previous post you agreed that if people would accept you you would be less squirmy.

Here you are saying you want to be quirky.

How does one post reconcile with the other?
And after you say you prefer being quirky, why would I believe that you aren't getting the kicks out of getting on someone's nerves?

Its so confusing to me. Please explain.


I’m personally not so “squirmy” myself but agreed with and understood the sentiment of the poster.

I don’t get “kicks” out of getting on someone’s nerves, I just am proud to be me and not be one of the crowd. Conversely, people who expect me just to fit in actually get on my nerves.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 5:53 pm
amother wrote:
What's difficult to understand? She's quirky, she likes herself the way she is, and she doesn't enjoy neurotypical people acting like she is some lower form of humanity.


Oh wow, I wish I read this before I replied. Thank you amother Powderblue, you said it better than me. 🙂
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 5:55 pm
Ruchel wrote:
Interesting is better than bland, but normal is good.


Normal can be, and often is bland.
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 5:57 pm
amother wrote:
I’m personally not so “squirmy” myself but agreed with and understood the sentiment of the poster.

I don’t get “kicks” out of getting on someone’s nerves, I just am proud to be me and not be one of the crowd. Conversely, people who expect me just to fit in actually get on my nerves.


Got you.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 5:58 pm
amother wrote:
I meant as in majority rules. Not to.actually insult so called NT people but to try to explain that "normal" is really just another way of saying "majority" or "most populous".


There was a time when the majority or “most populous” revered and agreed with the thought process of a guy called Hitler.
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amother
Violet


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 5:59 pm
I haven't read the thread of which this is a spin off, but the title of this thread is "Socially awkward," yet the OP itself reads "who gets to decide what is off […]."

This isn't the first time I've seen "socially awkward" and "socially off" used interchangeably, but they're not the same thing at all.

A socially awkward person is shy and uncomfortable in social settings. They might hold back from approching people to talk to or struggle to know what to say. A person who is socially off behaves inapropriately or against the conventional or expected etiquette. A person why is socially off might also be shy, but they're often not.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 6:07 pm
amother wrote:
There was a time when the majority or “most populous” revered and agreed with the thought process of a guy called Hitler.


So let's use Halacha as our yardstick and not just what the nt people think ia ok.

But I that statistically nt people are far more likely to blindly follow someone like hitler ymach shmo than autistic people. Esp because autistic people were also on his "hit" list
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 6:11 pm
Violet you make a very good point. Do you think I should change the title?
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 8:00 pm
amother wrote:
So let's use Halacha as our yardstick and not just what the nt people think ia ok.

But I that statistically nt people are far more likely to blindly follow someone like hitler ymach shmo than autistic people. Esp because autistic people were also on his "hit" list


Halacha is easy on this one: love your fellow as yourself. When people judge others for being “socially off” there is not much love there.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Dec 30 2018, 8:02 pm
amother wrote:
Halacha is easy on this one: love your fellow as yourself. When people judge others for being “socially off” there is not much love there.


Yup
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