Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Interesting Discussions -> Inspirational
What's your big challenge in Life??? HUGS!
  Previous  1  2  3 5  6  7 10  11  12  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Hotpink


 

Post Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:08 pm
amother wrote:
Mine might be unusual, sometimes I feel like there is no one who understands me. Maybe there are other stories like mine?

I have been suffering tremendously for 15 years because I dont have any kids. Its like dying a slow death, watching people around me have normal lives and I yearn for a family so badly. I wish I had money problems or in laws who hated me, so long as I had my own cozy nest of my own. No nest here for me.

5 years ago I took 2 beautiful children into my home as foster kids. raised them for 5 years with love and devotion. they were ages 2 and 4. Now they are 7 and 9. I was just about ready to adopt them, had issues with the paperwork etc.. when the birth mother suddenly decided she was ready to raise them and took them back without any warning. The adoption wasnt finalized so legally I had no leg to stand on... she cut off all contact and wont allow me to even see them. Missing them takes my breath away.
so now I am left with a - still- empty nest, yet having tasted the love of motherhood- grieving for my 2 kids.
I'm left with nothing. I am broken.


I am so sorry that you have been going through this. I sobbed when I read your story. I wish I could do something to ease your pain. I hope that you are able to somehow find joy in life. Noone should have to go through this.

My suffering: I have OCD for many years, tried many therapists, tried multiple drugs. It wrecked my marriage, my kids, my life. Every moment is torture. Every step in my day is dictated by my illness. Jokes on me, growing up I didn't believe in mental illness, thought it was made up.
Back to top

justmarried:)




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:29 pm
this is very heartbreaking to read. Everyone is suffering so much and it pains me. Hope this galus ends soon and everyone can see the yeshuos they need!
Back to top

amother
Denim


 

Post Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:46 pm
amother wrote:
Mine might be unusual, sometimes I feel like there is no one who understands me. Maybe there are other stories like mine?

I have been suffering tremendously for 15 years because I dont have any kids. Its like dying a slow death, watching people around me have normal lives and I yearn for a family so badly. I wish I had money problems or in laws who hated me, so long as I had my own cozy nest of my own. No nest here for me.

5 years ago I took 2 beautiful children into my home as foster kids. raised them for 5 years with love and devotion. they were ages 2 and 4. Now they are 7 and 9. I was just about ready to adopt them, had issues with the paperwork etc.. when the birth mother suddenly decided she was ready to raise them and took them back without any warning. The adoption wasnt finalized so legally I had no leg to stand on... she cut off all contact and wont allow me to even see them. Missing them takes my breath away.
so now I am left with a - still- empty nest, yet having tasted the love of motherhood- grieving for my 2 kids.
I'm left with nothing. I am broken.


Crying Crying Crying Crying Crying ouch. so so painful.
I read your post and cried for real.
Back to top

amother
Apricot


 

Post Tue, Jan 01 2019, 10:47 pm
I just wanted to make one point that I found really helped me when going through difficult stages. When I find that I cannot connect to Hashem, and have a hard time communicating; instead of trying to force the connection, I just talk to him about why I can't connect. I'll think about why it's so hard, and just express my feelings and thoughts, and frustration, and that usually leads the way for a connection, as I usually end up imagining what the response could be, and justifying myself, and then telling myself that Hashem knows me better than anyone, and knows this about me, and yet he still put me in this situation. This can sometimes lead me to acceptance of my situation, and sometimes just be a tefillah to change the situation, but it always leaves me feeling better and more connected. (For me personally it works better to have a conversation with in my head and heart rather than talking aloud, but in second person, as we know he can hear our thoughts).
Back to top

amother
Olive


 

Post Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:28 pm
No plans for pesach yet. Don't feel up to making on my own and don't have where to go. No family...
Back to top

amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:50 pm
amother wrote:
Crying Crying Crying Crying Crying ouch. so so painful.
I read your post and cried for real.


I also cry for real.. I dont even have anything inspirational to hold on to.. you know those people that are strong or find the good in little things, or try to inspire themselves or take care of themselves, a new manicure the little things. ..
I dont have any energy for that. I am just sad. all of the time. I dont care about new clothes or a coffee. I just want my babies back. which I know I'll never get. They were never mine.
I want my own biological babies that no one can ever take away from me.
Back to top

amother
Firebrick


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 12:54 am
gamzehyaavor wrote:
Hug Love and strength to you too amother Firebrick.


Thank you! I could really use it!
Back to top

dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:01 am
Pumpkin I have no words for you!
Back to top

amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:24 am
My heart is twisting with each post here. I'll share mine if only to get it off my chest.
Huge financial problems that causes untold stress and friction. Watching dh chase his dreams while our lives fall apart. No marriage to speak of. I haven't been to the mikva in months. My children watch us fight all day and beg us to stop. One child had a mental meltdown several years ago and is on meds and stabilized. I have anxiety and depression and have random panic attacks so I can't go anywhere without my meds. I struggle with anger toward HaShem for putting our family through dark times and yet it's still not enough. I have a hard time keeping Shabbos.
This is only a partial list but I guess compared to others my struggles are minor. I truly am grateful for the good but some days it's so hard to see it! B"h the kids all do well academically and behaviorally in school. At home it's a war zone but they learned from their parents how to smile pretty and pretend that all is well with the world. Please nobody suggest therapy or give me any ideas. I'm doing the best I can with the tools I have. However well-meaning you think it will be, please don't comment.
Back to top

amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:56 am
I've been through a lot, but right now I think my biggest struggle is feeling like my house is out of control. I've been married for over 20 years and have never gotten this housekeeping thing down pat. Seriously, I always have dishes in my sink and sometimes discover on Friday that some of the dishes from the previous Shabbos are still in there. I have mounds of unfolded laundry that live in the living room since I don't have space for them anywhere else and I never manage to fold more than a small chunk of it a day, so it keeps on growing and growing. The fridge and oven get cleaned once a year for Pesach. Our room looks scary and you literally can't walk into it without stepping over or on top of things. I just can't seem to get my act together. I have lists of things I want to do but am always so busy between work and raising my large family that the big jobs always fall to the side. If I do get to housework, it's just making small dents in the daily jobs and never the bigger ones. I feel out of control and am so sad that my kids are growing up this way.

I have other issues like a deceased child, huge financial problems, and children with medical and developmental issues, but I feel like the housework thing is the one that makes me struggle to breathe sometimes.
Back to top

dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 3:55 am
Honeydew can u get your kids to do some chores or get some hischool chesed girls to come help you?
Back to top

dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 4:00 am
Can you get an aide for your children that need medical help & they can help you with basics in house/dishes/Laundry & agency pays them?
Back to top

amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 5:32 am
dankbar wrote:
Honeydew can u get your kids to do some chores or get some hischool chesed girls to come help you?


I definitely have room for improvement in the area of asking for help. Most of my older kids are boys and are out of the house. My girls do help, but they have a lot of school work and are out of the house a lot and there's a limit to how much I can expect of them. Every now and then, one of them will do a load of dishes or fold a few pieces of laundry, and it's nice when that happens, but it's not often enough. I'm not organized enough to put together any system of regular help from the kids, but I should try to work on that.
Back to top

amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 5:35 am
dankbar wrote:
Can you get an aide for your children that need medical help & they can help you with basics in house/dishes/Laundry & agency pays them?


I don't know if such a thing exists where I live. Maybe I can find out from the revacha.

Thanks for the suggestion.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 6:28 am
MIGRAINES
Back to top

Vintage




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 9:13 am
amother wrote:
Amen . Thank you for posting that . That was beautifully written .


Thank you. BH. I wrote from my heart, to the one(s) needing most to hear it. Needing validation. Needing to be heard in the moment, for the moment. Hashem only knows how many times I've needed validation and to be heard and experience being heard. If feels good to give those things to others because in giving them I too can feel the bracha in my neshoma.

So hard it seems often to just let people have their pain and remain calm about it.

May we all receive yeshuos.
Back to top

amother
Wheat


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 9:27 am
Mine is my marriage. Dh married me thinking I’m different. It’s 2 decades later and he still yells at me daily how he’s in such emotional pain and it’s my fault. I am “abusing him” every day by not changing my personality and figure.
Back to top

amother
Chocolate


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 9:36 am
Oh my goodness can not believe the suffering going on here:( may you all find some peace and blessings.
Back to top

amother
Coral


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 12:13 pm
My heart breaks for all the pain and suffering I am reading in these posts. Hashem should comfort you all. I am grateful for all the blessings I have in my life, I truly am blessed in many areas but I feel as if I haven't had peace in my life. There are always events that keep me from enjoying the blessings in my life. Although after reading through these posts I am determined to be positive and make the most of everything. Life is too short. I am trying to train myself to strongly believe that Hashem knows what's best for our family.
I am a stepmother to two children that we recently tried to gain custody of. I strongly believe that my husband's ex has a narcissistic personality disorder but she manages to put up a nice front and convince the world she is a great mother. The kids don't want to live with her, she is emotionally and verbally abusive but also a great manipulator. She played a great game in court, my husband came out looking like a fool. The children's lawyer illegally never presented what the kids wanted for some reason we don't understand. His ex managed to have an order of protection against my husband so for 10 months he was only allowed to be supervised with his kids because of false allegations against him. This from the best father in the world who gave his life for the past 11 years to do everything for them. The judge was pure evil who bought into his ex's lies. Two years in court, $70,000 down the drain in a court system that failed the kids. We came out worse off then before and his ex is now determined to make absolutely everything difficult for us even at the expense of the kids. She is a master manipulator, pathological liar, plays mind games with the kids and will do anything to hurt our family if she can. The kids are traumatized from this experience and don't trust anyone at this point. We have to constantly repeat to ourselves that this is what Hashem wants but it's very hard. The injustice of it is so hard to believe and to know that she continues to emotionally/verbally abuse the kids but there is nothing we can do about it for now.
I had 2 surgeries, radioactive treatment in the past few years for thyroid cancer, but that ordeal was nothing compared to all this. I daven that this should all make sense to us soon and it should be behind us. I know at some point the stepchildren will be older and we won't have to deal with my husband's ex anymore. This comforts me. I am grateful that our troubles are somewhat temporary and not life long.
Back to top

amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:35 pm
My heart is literally aching from all the posts I've read. H' should help all of you and may we see the geula very very soon!!!

I grew up in a very unhealthy home, was emotionally and physically abused as were my siblings. I married and we had many struggles because I wasn't healthy until I ended up going to therapy because we had reached a breaking point. We also went through infertility for many years and we struggle alot financially the last few years which caused a lot of stress on me and my marriage. I just try to keep strong and take it one day at a time. I try to see the good but some days, it's very hard and I feel like running away from it all but then I remind myself that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I'm very thankful for my husband and my children and our health and I don't take it for granted.
Back to top
Page 6 of 12   Previous  1  2  3 5  6  7 10  11  12  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions -> Inspirational

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Have never been so tight financially in my life
by amother
25 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:17 pm View last post
Ketamine changed my life for the better AMA
by amother
42 Mon, Mar 18 2024, 12:25 pm View last post
Life in Jerusalem
by amother
37 Wed, Mar 13 2024, 7:17 am View last post
by salt
Florida life - what to wear
by amother
5 Sat, Mar 09 2024, 10:49 pm View last post
How much do you pay for your therapist or life coach
by amother
6 Sun, Mar 03 2024, 6:24 pm View last post