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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:18 pm
5-month-old DD is the light of my life but she just does not sleep! I'm seriously entertaining the idea of hiring a sleep coach but it's really expensive, so I figure I'll crowdsource here before I make that investment...

Here are our issues: she won't take a pacifier or bottle. (She does have some solids.) She likes to nurse to sleep. She will not put herself to sleep in the crib or even in the swing. If she doesn't fall asleep nursing, she will only fall asleep if I hold and walk and rock her around the house for long, long periods of time.

Some nights she'll sleep decently and go right back to sleep after a feeding, and I'll think that we're over the hump, but then she'll be up every hour the next night or for hours on end refusing to go to sleep because she's so overtired. Or she'll be fast asleep on my shoulder and her eyes pop right open as I put her down in the crib, so no such thing as "drowsy but awake" around here, I've tried that and she goes from drowsy to wide awake and raring to go, and that can happen 5-6 times before she falls asleep or I give up and nurse her again. Naps aren't any better most days.

I've tried letting her cry but I can't take it for too long, plus she wakes up my other kids.

I am just so exhausted.

Any words of wisdom?
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pesek zman




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:27 pm
Cry it out is the only option. 5 months is a great age for Ferber. Read up on it
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:36 pm
Don’t be upset at me please.. I want to make you aware of two things;

1- Babies have to learn to fall asleep. They cannot be rocked or walked or they will never learn how to fall asleep on their own.
Start by making the house/room dark and quiet. Develop a bedtime routine before you put the baby in her crib (bath, eating...)

2- Most probably your baby is waking up at night because she is hungry. To sleep through the night babies need to be fed more before going to sleep. Give solids and nurse right before bed.

Place baby in dark (or very dim) room. Let baby hear your voice as you are leaving. Sing Shema or whatever you wish.

Baby will eventually get used to this bedtime routine.

If she wakes up soon after just pat her back.
If it’s more than 3 hours some would agree to a quick feeding/ changing but put baby back in her crib right away.

If you are consistent she will learn to sleep in a week or two.

You got her used to the rocking and walking, now you will teach her how to fall asleep on her own.
She’s exhausted by the evening. She wants to sleep.
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:37 pm
pesek zman wrote:
Cry it out is the only option. 5 months is a great age for Ferber. Read up on it


I tried, but it just made her more upset when I went to her and she ended up waking the whole house at 2 in the morning... and I really hate to let her cry.
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:43 pm
amother wrote:
Don’t be upset at me please.. I want to make you aware of two things;

1- Babies have to learn to fall asleep. They cannot be rocked or walked or they will never learn how to fall asleep on their own.
Start by making the house/room dark and quiet. Develop a bedtime routine before you put the baby in her crib (bath, eating...)

2- Most probably your baby is waking up at night because she is hungry. To sleep through the night babies need to be fed more before going to sleep. Give solids and nurse right before bed.

Place baby in dark (or very dim) room. Let baby hear your voice as you are leaving. Sing Shema or whatever you wish.

Baby will eventually get used to this bedtime routine.

If she wakes up soon after just pat her back.
If it’s more than 3 hours some would agree to a quick feeding/ changing but put baby back in her crib right away.

If you are consistent she will learn to sleep in a week or two.

You got her used to the rocking and walking, now you will teach her how to fall asleep on her own.
She’s exhausted by the evening. She wants to sleep.


Why would I be upset at you? You're offering to help me Very Happy I do all that, dark room, calming routine, solids for dinner. She'll often fall asleep nursing at bedtime and many nights she'll go to sleep nicely then, but wake up soon after or even a few hours later and refuse to go back to sleep. I put her in her crib and it's party time (even if she's asleep or almost asleep)! She'll either cry or start kicking her feet and cooing to herself, which turns into crying after 10 minutes or so. Then what? Patting her back just gets her more upset.
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Rachel Shira




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:51 pm
I really know what you mean about not wanting to hear her cry. But honestly, it worked for me with my almost 5 month old. He was nursing to sleep and then waking very frequently all night long. I didn’t do any checks, just left him, and he never cried for more than half an hour and now sleeps for a solid chunk of time and then again after a feeding. What I learned is that however they are put to sleep, that’s what they expect when they wake up. So if she’s being rocked to sleep, when she wakes up at the light part of her sleep cycle she’ll cry to be rocked again. I’m not telling you to do anything you’re not comfortable with but it really does work and was much more painless than I expected.
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 1:56 pm
Thanks Rachel Shira, it still makes me so sad Crying

Also, forgot to mention, she's definitely teething and has been teething for a while now, but if she's anything like my other kids she will continue to teethe for months before any teeth actually show up. Tylenol helps sometimes but not always.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:09 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks Rachel Shira, it still makes me so sad Crying

Also, forgot to mention, she's definitely teething and has been teething for a while now, but if she's anything like my other kids she will continue to teethe for months before any teeth actually show up. Tylenol helps sometimes but not always.

You still don’t need to rock her if she’s teething. She’ll feel better if she has a good sleep.
My babies who put themselves to sleep usually by babbling would wake up babbling too. The ones who didn’t fall asleep on their own would wake up crying right away.
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:16 pm
Did u rule out reflux? How big was she born? How much does she weigh now? Is she on a normal/regular routine every day? Have you read the baby whispers solves all your problems? By Tracy Hogg. She has the PU/PD metbod. I helped so many ppl sleep train with that.
Hatzlocha! It's a frustrating process!
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 2:57 pm
amother wrote:
Did u rule out reflux? How big was she born? How much does she weigh now? Is she on a normal/regular routine every day? Have you read the baby whispers solves all your problems? By Tracy Hogg. She has the PU/PD metbod. I helped so many ppl sleep train with that.
Hatzlocha! It's a frustrating process!


Thank you! She doesn't have any symptoms of reflux and is eating and growing nicely baruch Hashem. She was born over 9 lbs and was 16 lbs at her last checkup. I have not read the baby whisperer, this is essentially the PU/PD method, right? http://www.babysleep101.com/20.....-put-down/

That's basically what I do now. Up, down, up, down. I think I'm developing tennis elbow LOL . Maybe I should just consistently stick with that for a while. Thanks!

I try to keep her on a regular routine every day (except once a week when one of my other kids needs to be picked up), but try as I might, she doesn't cooperate with the routine. I always attempt to put her down within two hours of waking up but that doesn't mean she always goes to sleep!
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shtisim macher




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 3:01 pm
At that weight, it's doubtful that she's waking from hunger. Read up on the rules of do and don'ts of PU/pd and mainly STICK TO UR GUNS!
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smile




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 7:01 pm
What I read and used to do, was if they woke up was never to look them in their eyes and make contact. Show you are there say mummy is near you without looking in her direction. And then leave. If she starts again, go in say you are here and leave and so on...
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2019, 9:26 pm
Thanks everyone! She took one good nap today at a not-so-great time so by the time bedtime rolled around she was exhausted. I decided to try the PU/PD and it worked out pretty well... I stopped her from sucking once she was in a light sleep and not actually eating anymore, then burped her (sometimes she wakes up because she fell asleep nursing and didn't burp), then brought her into her room and put her in the crib awake. She babbled for a bit and then cried, I did PU/PD a bunch of times for about 40 minutes but she got really upset by it, screaming every time I put her down and not calming down easily when I picked her up. Finally she was so exhausted that she was basically just crying in her sleep as I held her, so I put her down and did a Ferber-style patting and shushing... and then she fell asleep!!

I'm hoping it lasts for a good few hours, I'm going to go jump into bed. Though my six-year-old is currently sleeping there because he couldn't fall asleep during the crying, his room is right next to the baby's. If we all have to shuffle beds for a few nights, so be it!

Any other words of wisdom and chizzuk would be much appreciated!
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