Davening for twins vs dreading twins

BadTichelDay

Fri, Jan 04 2019, 9:09 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

how? Maon is that much? Gan is free until gan shalosh.

I paid 3200 ש"ח monthly for having 2 kids (kind of Irish twins, lol) simultaneously in a private maon/mishpachton. The official real maon would have been more expensive. Gan for free starts only from age 3, doesn't it? So, before that age, you pay...

amother

Blonde

Fri, Jan 04 2019, 9:14 am

I never thought I’d have twins since I don’t have any close blood relatives with twins.

But we did ivf and transferred two since the doctor said that twins don’t carry major risks.

I had a very difficult pregnancy with bedrest from early on and hospital bedrest from a pretty early stage that lasted for a while. We were close to losing them multiple times. They were born prematurely and tiny and had a NICU stay then PICU stay...

And once they were home it was HARD. There’s no sleeping when the baby sleeps. Especially if both babies are hard babies and you don’t have much help.

It’s been a few years and they’ve been pretty hard. I still amn’t back to myself. And it’s harder since I never had a chance to bond with either of them, being constantly busy with the other one.

Not going to go into detail, but for the record: twins are NOT two for the price of one (the only two for one cost was the ivf). And they’re not two for the price of two either.

Yes I know many have it easier. But don’t count on that.

I don’t know what OP’s intentions here were, but if you’re considering transferring two, please think it through.... you might have it easy. But don’t count on it.

And the next person that tells me that having two close in age is harder than twins - you’re getting my twins for a week.

Chayalle

Fri, Jan 04 2019, 9:20 am

smileforamile wrote:

I daven not to have twins. I have the genes. Both times I found out I was pregnant, the minute I saw the heartbeat, I asked the doctor, "It's only one, right?" B'H it was. I hold my breath every time.

Any daughter of mine has even stronger genes, since my mother and MIL are both fraternal twins (my mother with a boy, my MIL with a girl).

ETA: Also, I've had preeclampsia twice now, and twin pregnancies increase the risk.

I'm with you on this one. My grandfather had twin brothers, and my MIL A"H was a twin, from a family of multiple multiples. My mother A"H used to say - please, one at a time - and I agree with her.

My best friend has twins and triplets, followed by a few singles. I love her kids to pieces, but I was never jealous!

Recently, the first set of twins was born in the next generation of DH's family. All the great aunts and uncles - themselves part of multiples - were going nuts.

I just pray my girls have healthy pregnancies and healthy kids. Should they have inherited their great-grandmother's genes, I will do my best B"N to take care of them and help them out.

mommy3b2c

Fri, Jan 04 2019, 12:43 pm

amother wrote:

Im trying to conceive and I always tell DH I wish I would have twins. He obviously feels like I'm off the wall. (My maternal grandmother is a twin and my DH has twins in his family, so not totally far-fetched.)
My pregnancies are horrible so I feel like if I had twins I would stop there (already have 3 ka"h)
But if I just have one I'm going to want another one even though I'm not sure I could physically handle being pregnant again
Yes, I know I'm crazy Surprised

Not crazy. That’s the main reason I want twins. My pregnancies are so hellish, I’d rather get two for one.

amother

Goldenrod

Fri, Jan 04 2019, 2:21 pm

amother wrote:

We are dealing with infertility and I need IVF to become pregnant. We chose to transfer two embryos even though the doctor recommended one because transferring two has a higher success rate and I didn't want the thousands of dollars we spent to go to the garbage. Of course this cheshbon is in no way fool proof and is more emotional than logical... but there it is.
So BH we had twins. They are adorable, and I'm thrilled to have them. It was a VERY difficult pregnancy with many complications and my twins were born prematurely but at the end of the day, they are two children! Two separate people! And they are mine! I can't begin to describe how happy we are to have our twins.
I do not regret it for one second and I love them to pieces. I was very nervous about how I'll be able to take care of them but BH they are good babies and I'm managing pretty well.
However, due to all the complications as I mentioned above, if/when we do IVF again, I will probably choose to transfer just a single embryo and hope for the best.

We’re doing IVF now and I always wanted twins. If it happens I would be happy but I wouldn’t do anything extra to make it happen because of all the complications with pregnancy...
My doctor will not transfer two embryos no matter what. But he did say that there is a higher chance of having identical twins with IVF embryos that grow until day 6 or 7. The longer the embryos grow outside the uterus, the more of a chance they will split once they are implanted.
I guess we’ll see what happens!

pause

Fri, Jan 04 2019, 4:09 pm

amother wrote:

I really, really wanted twins.
So badly that I made a thread about it! https://www.imamother.com/foru.....15185
And Hashem was SO generous with me and made my dream come true!
And they are the best.

Now wishing for another set! LOL

Did you end up posting a birth story? If yes, can you link? If not, can you summarize?
I find it interesting that your OP of the thread you linked was posted two months before they were born, which means you were already pregnant with twins at the time you were wishing for them. It's very possible you had that intuition and that you're carrying bigger...

amother

Papaya

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 5:59 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Not crazy. That’s the main reason I want twins. My pregnancies are so hellish, I’d rather get two for one.

So I want twins for that and other reasons, the. I remember that twin pregnanacies are sometimes double and hellish and as nerve wrecking as Singleton ones and come to my senses.

But twins are cute, and would prob help me reach a family size I won’t otherwise have. Oh well. Guess it’s good we don’t get to choose.

Teomima

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 6:23 pm

Before I had my twins, for some reason I had always envisioned twins in my future, but I never specifically davened for it. I was not at all surprised when the scan showed two heartbeats (though dh was! And terrified, too!)
Raising twins was challenging, but my feelings now are that all first children really should come in pairs. It throws you right into the deep end when it comes to learning how to parent, but you skip that stage where you're too cautious with your first only to relax with your second, and once (if? ;-) ) you survive the first few months, they start interacting with each other which, as they get older, makes play time much easier than with singletons because they have each other. Not to mention, I've always felt the biggest gift I have ever given my children was each other, and with twins as my firsts, none of my children have never lived more than one minute without a sibling.
After having had my twins, I wouldn't have minded having more pairs (though the idea of triplets terrified me), but alas, subsequent births have all been singletons (and dh and I still can't get over the feeling of surprise whenever we feed a baby or change a diaper and are DONE, that that's not another baby waiting for their change as well).

Kiwi13

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 6:46 pm

I think it’s perfectly fine to daven for anything and everything in your heart. Hashem knows what’s best for us, and I don’t believe He would ever hold our tefillos against us. If nothing else, there is a connection that can be especially strengthened by davening for something we want very, very much. It doesn’t mean we will necessarily get it, but there’s something very special about heartfelt tefillah.

Also, I have twins. I didn’t daven specifically for twins, but there was part of my experience that I very much believe was an answered tefillah, one of the most obviously answered tefillos of my entire life. Too long a story to put here, but I believe that tefillah played an important role in my story. The pregnancy and recovery from birth was extremely hard, but so incredibly wonderful at the same time.

That said, base your tefillos on your life and your own heart. Other people’s experiences are irrelevant. Smile

amother

Brunette

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 7:11 pm

pause wrote:

I did post a birth story Smile

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....21312

I guess it was intuition, although I suspected twins a few times before and a few times since.

amother

Seagreen

Sat, Jan 05 2019, 7:34 pm

amother wrote:

Exactly ! Twins are not two for the price of one . How old are your twins ? I had a very hard time with my twins , I didn't get back to myself until they were 4 years old . Now they're 9 kh and I finally see the bracha . When I found out I was pregnant I was ecstatic because we were doing ivf so as long as it was successful that's all that mattered to me . If I were to conceive twins again I would be a nervous wreck. It's hard. Very very hard .

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 2:24 am

BadTichelDay wrote:

You are right, my mistake. But maon is expensive? I didnt realize that.

amother

Babypink

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 2:56 am

amother wrote:

I did post a birth story Smile

https://www.imamother.com/foru.....21312

I guess it was intuition, although I suspected twins a few times before and a few times since.

So lucky!

Wish it on me! Loved the whole story from beginning to end. The way you didn’t even know it’s twins, so youn b”h had an easy pregnancy and a homebirth with Twins! Maybe I Should go the midwife way? Do you always do homebirth? Really looking into it (tho not shayuch yet Very Happy

)

amother

Brunette

Sun, Jan 06 2019, 3:09 am

amother wrote:

)

Very appropriate amother color if you want twin girls! Wink

I had 2 hospital births, 1 nice and 1 awful. All the rest homebirth B"H.