Do prettier wives have happier marriages?

Mommyg8

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 8:20 am

amother wrote:

it seems like actually being pretty is not helpful, just being prettier than your husband.

I think that my dh is better looking than me, and this has not impacted my marriage in any way. He certainly does not think he settled!

But of course, women are generally prettier then men. I mean, they don't have beards Tongue Out

...

I also know some very beautiful women who are divorced. One of them was abused...

amother

Lemon

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 8:34 am

I think the not so prettier wives have happier marriages, they were married for who they are, not for a trophy or for something that fades, their men should be quite as happy as the day they married them. Prettier women can be married for a trophy and as an accesory, not taken seriously, they just are more likely to be desired physically. That makes them more likely to be used. Pretty = better chances at 1 night stands & narcisistic prey, ugly = married for who they are, unless they took advice from that song posted earlier, married to cook dinner on time.

amother

Violet

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 8:41 am

I'm average looking and have a very happy marriage. My uncle is on his fourth wife, each one has been more stunning than the next, and yet, he can't seem to stay married more than a few years...

I will say, it's easier to project confidence if you're good looking. That's not to say good looking people never have self esteem issues or insecurities, but on the whole, it's easier to be confident. That probably does make it easier on relationships, or at least, easier to attract normal people, and thus have normal relationships.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 8:44 am

SuperWify wrote:

Unless she’s a h*re I don’t see how...

Read the article I cited. People would rather deal with attractive people than non- attractive people. It's a fact.

Pretty people will get courtesies extended to them that are often not given to others.

I once walked in late to an important appointment because of bridge traffic. I was the only female there. There were 11 off the top specialists in their field. The main person was chewing out the men for being late and threatening them with a fine. All I got was a good morning Ms _____. Then he finished up his tirade.

This has happened to me numerous times.

When I was the plaintiff in a court case, the judge told my attorney to get me a chair during the calendar. We were up at the table for three minutes max. None of the other attorneys were told to get their clients a chair.

I once asked DH why I was often allowed to cut the lift lines skiing. Obviously, I was not going to sleep with anyone for this courtesy. He said there was the faintest possibility in guys minds.

amother

Lemon

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 8:51 am

amother wrote:

Okay, and science proves that we become accustomed to anything we are used to and it loses its novelty. Strangers can still react to beauty but your day in & out gets used to it.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 8:51 am

amother wrote:

And what of gorgeous accomplished women? Do you think they are only married for their looks?

DH tells the story of when he was in shidduchim, he wanted a smart wife. His rabbi asked him whatever for. He said he wants someone who can talk to him at his level. The rabbi said that you are not supposed to be talking with your wife.

I think ugly women are more likely to be one night stands. They are desperate for attention and don't have the self respect pretty women do. Pretty women are keepers.

Your uncle sounds messed up. I wouldn't base all men on him.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 9:01 am

I once asked DH why I was often allowed to cut the lift lines skiing. Obviously, I was not going to sleep with anyone for this courtesy. He said there was the faintest possibility in guys minds.

That one is easy, honey. If they let you cut them in line, they get to have a great view all the way to the top of the mountain! LOL

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 9:01 am

amother wrote:

If you were on your own, it is very common for ski lift attendants to let all single people on as there are often gaps on the chair. It is important for balance, particularly in windy conditions. The people are chosen regardless of their attractiveness. Plus skiers are generally laid back and nice. I’ve let people ahead of me before in lift lines and I wasn’t trying to get them all into bed. 😉

Ruchel

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 9:05 am

amother wrote:

Your husband freaks me out. No, it's about courtesy or even guys flirting, stam! Not about the possibility you'll put out on the ski lift.

Quote:

The rabbi said that you are not supposed to be talking with your wife.

I think ugly women are more likely to be one night stands. They are desperate for attention and don't have the self respect pretty women do. Pretty women are keepers.

WT*!!!!!

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 9:08 am

amother wrote:

That is such baloney. I hope your DH isn’t disappointed with the level of smartness in his wife as this doesn’t sound so smart. There are many single, gorgeous women who men have one-night stands with. In fact, the odds are greater the more georgeous the woman is since one-night stands are primarily based on lust. Many gorgeous women are divorced and many not so gorgeous women are long-term married. If your theory held weight, only ugly people would be divorcees.

Pretty women often don’t stay pretty or need a lot of make up to be that way. They are not keepers when their beauty fades for a man who only cares about looks.

Ruchel

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 9:11 am

Quote:

They get the best boys. More attractive wives have more attentive husbands.

Many of the best boys have wives whose strongest point isn't looks, because davka they are the best boys and not the trophy ones. The most tender and attentive guys I know also aren't married to the best beauties. But they probably think they are.

Quote:

Men who don't have a pretty wife are more likely to desire partners outside of marriage.

I'd say if anything they're less interested in random beauties, didn't even marry one.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 9:18 am

I don't think one has to be Miss America quality to have a successful marriage but I do think that physical attraction between spouses is important but my experience is that menscheledick men have reasonable expectations of their wives. While they can see the difference between their beloved wife of 30 years or so and a young nubile girl, they do find their wives to be beautiful in their eyes.

In my experience, in a successful marriage women don't have to take extreme measures to be considered beautiful by their husbands but in general they do take pride in their appearance as they age and present a nice appearance within reason - plastic surgery - being a size 2 not necessary but reasonable standards for physical appearance and clothing so one doesn't present as a complete shlumper.

In the wider world beauty will get you ahead. It's been shown that teachers will give higher marks to attractive students. They submitted the same papers to teachers with pictures of homely and attractive students. Attractive people have an easier time being hired and promoted. When they run statistics, tall men earn more than shorter men and overweight in women is a SEVERE handicap in earning potential.

zaq

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 9:19 am

SuperWify wrote:

Unless she’s a h*re I don’t see how...

w

That’s disgusting. And ignorant. Being attractive is a plus if not an outright requirement in many jobs in PR, sales, fundraising and other public-contact fields, not to mention legitimate entertainment. You may sing like an angel and dance like a dream but if you look like a troll you’re not going to get anywhere.

Many studies have shown also that children who are seen as better-looking get smiled at more, get called on more by teachers, and are perceived as smarter. Adults who are seen as better-looking are more likely to be hired, promoted, given plum assignments and voted into public office. They are often perceived as more trustworthy, too. Good-looking lawyers have more success with juries. This doesn’t mean that less attractive people can’t succeed, but they do have to work harder and be better at whatever they do. It’s not a deliberate thing but an often completely unconscious bias.