Do prettier wives have happier marriages?

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:27 am

amother wrote:

It was the guys in line who let me cut ahead. I didn't ask. I was waved over. This was not happening to other singles.

The same thing happened at clubs. The bouncers walked the lines and let us in first.

I used to be ushered in all the time for free at clubs because I was young and dressed s****y. As another poster said, clubs use women like this as bait. Hardly a great achievement, not a moment I personally am proud of.

And I just don’t believe you about the ski lines. I actually think you sound a bit deluded, narcissistic and lacking in good self esteem. There is no way you can know that other people weren’t also waved over after you had boarded the lift. You certainly seem self-absorbed by your own “beauty” to be fully aware of the actions of others. And at best, some guys who wanted to have sx with you let you cut in line. Again not really something to brag about. When I brag about my pursuits on the ski slope it is about how I skied down a double black with a waterfall or had an awesome day tree skiing.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:38 am

I think I am objectively pretty and yes I feel it enhances my life. I have a happy marriage but since I've always looked this way I don't know if it would be different if I looked different.

The few shmucks that I know who cheated had average to poor looking wives. Who knows?

SuperWify

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:43 am

amother wrote:

Read the article I cited. People would rather deal with attractive people than non- attractive people. It's a fact.

Pretty people will get courtesies extended to them that are often not given to others.

I once walked in late to an important appointment because of bridge traffic. I was the only female there. There were 11 off the top specialists in their field. The main person was chewing out the men for being late and threatening them with a fine. All I got was a good morning Ms _____. Then he finished up his tirade.

This has happened to me numerous times.

When I was the plaintiff in a court case, the judge told my attorney to get me a chair during the calendar. We were up at the table for three minutes max. None of the other attorneys were told to get their clients a chair.

I once asked DH why I was often allowed to cut the lift lines skiing. Obviously, I was not going to sleep with anyone for this courtesy. He said there was the faintest possibility in guys minds.

I don’t necessarily agree with you, but the fact you’d cut a line knowing the guy who let you go thinks he has a slight chance in sleeping with you is pretty gross.

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:44 am

amother wrote:

The key word here is “know” - there are probably sadly many marriages that have cheating husbands that you don’t know about. Why would you be privy to all the neighborhood cheating anyway? Maybe the uglier wives are more likely to catch their cheating husbands. Maybe the prettier ones are too busy looking in the mirror/enjoying their admirers to notice!

And what about men who have sight disorders? Some blind men have gorgeous wives, some less so. If I were with a blind man I would be secure that he likes me for who I am vs my looks which are transient.

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:47 am

amother wrote:

So many questions here. Just so so many questions. You asked married men when you were single about their Zex lives? He felt intimidated by her perfection?? what a line. Give me a break. Let's not even get into the next ones response. You're right- a man who wants to cheat will cheat- thats for sure. Also agree that a man desperate for a stunning knock out trophy wife in the beginning may crave a newer model sometime down the line.

Yes of course, a cheesy line from a married man with a perfect, gorgeous wife at home (I met her, she really was amazing) and he was an id*@t for even contemplating doing things with someone else. Agreed with all else you say.

SixOfWands

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:48 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Thanks! I forgot to add, a few years after my mom passed, my dad married a wonderful short, pudgy, plain looking woman. My dad thought he'd never find happiness again, but they are over the moon in love with each other. It's so cute to read their FB posts, they are like teenagers together! I read things like "Love is when your hubby leaves you the last brownie in the pan." with a picture of the pan and a little note next to it.

To me, that's worth a lot more than being pretty. I've never had anyone adore me like that. Confused

You deserve someone to adore you that way. And I hope and pray that he comes along for you.

amother

Khaki

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 10:59 am

urban gypsy wrote:

I've got to add that Sophia Loren and Audrey Hepburn, surely two of the most beautiful women in history, both had husbands who cheated on them and treated them like dirt.

Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on Maria Shriver -- who is beautiful -- with Mildred Baena -- who is not.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:14 am

amother wrote:

You assume an awful lot of untrue things that show a reaction formation. You need to put down someone you don't know because of your own inadequacies. You are ugly. I mean that sincerely. You are ugly on the inside. I couldn't be friends with someone who needs to put down others based on nothing.

This is a thread about looks not skiing. If I mentioned that I went glacier skiing or helicopter skiing, that would be pathetically out of place and off topic.

You are a jealous person, the ski line stories are true, and I didn't dress like a slut. You don't have to dress for attention when you are pretty and have a great figure. Notice, I didn't mention my figure until this moment.

SixOfWands

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:16 am

amother wrote:

Because they want to be known as a club with pretty women inside. You are marketing material (bait).

I actually have a friend whose first job was finding beautiful women to attend certain events. Its a pretty well-known thing to do.

And yes, more attractive people often have an easier time getting jobs and with general things in the world.

So maybe they have an easier time getting a first date. And in the shidduch world, getting married.* But that doesn't make their marriages better. Because they day will come when, absent botox and fillers and face lifts, everyone will age. And if the cement that holds together your relationship is beauty, then the relationship will inevitably fail.

* I once read that in general society, men prefer women who are more or less average. Not being gorgeous is not an impediment. Even being slightly overweight -- but not obese -- was fine. But that may not hold in societies where couples do not date for extended periods of time.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:17 am

flowerpower wrote:

Someone here mentioned that men married to pretty women tend to cheat with women that are not pretty. So there you go...

Maybe it was proximity. Many of these celebrities are cheating with the nannies. We don't what she looked like 22 years ago.

amother

Scarlet

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:21 am

amother wrote:

I didn’t mention my level of attractiveness either. You just have assumed that I am not pretty. Since you care so much about looks: I am not ugly on the inside or outside. I could report this post as a personal attack but for the moment I won’t as I feel sorry for you. I wouldn’t want to be friends with you either because you seem so full of yourself. I am not a jealous person, certainly not of you. I am not sure where you read that into any of my posts? 🤔 I feel sorry for you as you are the one name-calling me “ugly” on a thread about looks. I am sorry that I upset you so much you had to start being unkind. I would like your posts more if they were about glacier skiing vs other women’s looks.

imasoftov

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:32 am

amother wrote:

it seems like actually being pretty is not helpful, just being prettier than your husband.

So another version of the midrash I quoted via Rashi earlier today in another thread, in Rashi it's just the woman who says "I am prettier than you" but in the Midrash, he responds that he is prettier (unlike in English where one might prefer to call a woman pretty and a man handsome, the Midrash uses the same word, נאה, for both, with a different vowels indicating masculine and feminine) than her.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:34 am

amother wrote:

You are not very smart. Again, this is a thead about looks rather than glacier skiing. Please stay on topic or start a spin-off about skiing.

You said I dress sluty and am a liar. That's the initial unprovoked personal attack. I only said you were ugly on the inside in response to your unprovoked attack on me.

Your unprovoked attack on me was on response to something I wrote that resonated with you in a negative way.

Yes, some people are pretty and get courtesies because of it.