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Severe anxiety as healthcare professional
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:30 pm
I am in my second job as a direct healthcare professional. My first job was objectively stressful and ridiculous so I left after A few months (during which time I had non stop anxiety) I recently started a new job which is "easier" and From the beginning ive had a ton of anxiety before and after work. Although this job is easier, the anxiety has remained just as aggressive. It severely affects my sleep and affects my ability to be present for my kids even when I'm not working. What am I anxious about? Who knows?! Nothing rational. I think about the patients I saw today and think about how I should have handled things differently, things I forgot to do... And I panic that I will get patients and I won't know how to treat them. Sometimes I have someone working with me but I am very often alone and the one in charge. And that terrifies me since I don't feel like I know what I'm doing.

Ppl have advised me to "give it time" but it's already been almost half a year and my husband is ready for me to quit. He wants his wife back. I would quit but...I feel so guilty quitting because they spent time and money training me and expected me to stay for a long time... Not a few months.

I am starting to think I went into the wrong profession. I don't want to be responsible for other ppls health!! Such a shame considering all the time and money that went into my degree...

I am so conflicted and really don't know what to do. Any advice?
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amother




Vermilion


Post  Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:31 pm
Are you treating the anxiety?
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ahuva06




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jan 07 2019, 11:35 pm
Six months in the big picture is really not very long, although I'm sure it feels SUPER long!
It sounds to me like your anxiety is stemming from a lack of confidence in your capabilities as a professional. I think that as time goes on your belief in yourself and familiarity with the job will become stronger and your anxiety will hopefully lessen.
Until then perhaps you can see a professional and have some anti anxiety medication prescribed? Just to take the edge off so you can feel like yourself again...
Good luck!
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amother




Ivory


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 12:55 am
I don't have advice about severe anxiety but I can tell you about my own experience. When I graduated I greatly lacked confidence. Now that I've been in practice for a while my success at work feeds my confidence in other areas of life.
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dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 1:47 am
Think of it on flipside that you're helping people stay healthy even if it's a huge responsibility
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amother




Yellow


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 1:57 am
As someone who has generalized anxiety, I'm wondering if you do too and you're just channeling it toward your job. It's normal to have anxiety about a new job but you're describing a level of anxiety that IMO is more than you should be experiencing for your situation. The anxiety is keeping you up at night and lack of sleep can exacerbate anxiety so it's an awful cycle.

Were you by any chance raised in an unstable/unsafe environment? Because that is one thing that can cause generalized anxiety. Magnesium deficiency can also cause anxiety and I find it helps to take some supplements before I go to sleep. Meditation helps as well. Otherwise speak to a professional about how to address it.
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amother




Violet


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 6:19 am
Are you working inpatient? I found that way more stressful than outpatient. There is anxiety on the wards because you never know how your day will play out and what emergencies you will have to deal with. Are you a fairly new grad? If so, you might want to look for something where you are part of a team and not solo, like on a teaching service. Is that an option? Then there are always other practitioners around to ask questions and you will learn a great deal too.
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crust




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 7:47 am
I can almost promise you its not about your job.
Its about that monster inside you. Sigh. He's messing up your life.
How are you treating your anxiety?
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Its Friday




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 8:04 am
crust wrote:
I can almost promise you its not about your job.
Its about that monster inside you. Sigh. He's messing up your life.
How are you treating your anxiety?

See a GOOD shrink asap and also ask if you can benefit from meds.
If yes you can PM me for good ones. Not all psychiatrist are the same.
Once you have seen psychiatris for meds twice you can try a PCP to order refills. Some will. Obviously dont use the clinic you work on unless you have seen yourself how protective they are of employees medical info. The best are the ones that require workers to put the password again before entering another enployee chart
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amother




Fuchsia


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 8:41 am
I dont have to tell a medical professional to do some bloodwork because there are health issues that can cause severe anxiety (thyroid disease, lyme, strep anywhere going undetected b vitamin deficiency etc). If bloodwork comes back clean, then seek professional psychological care...and explore what u can do about the anxiety...and will transferring professions will cure ur anxiety or transfer it elsewhere..
Good luck...
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amother




Bisque


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 9:02 am
crust wrote:
I can almost promise you its not about your job.
Its about that monster inside you. Sigh. He's messing up your life.
How are you treating your anxiety?


Sometimes it IS about the job.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 9:04 am
crust wrote:
I can almost promise you its not about your job.
Its about that monster inside you. Sigh. He's messing up your life.
How are you treating your anxiety?


I agree with this. I speak as someone who spent the whole year dealing with anxiety about a completely different issue. My fears were completely ridiculous and had no basis in reality, but I could do nothing to stop them. All my emotional energy was going to fight the anxiety and I nearly destroyed my life. Please go for help. I beg you.
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amother




Copper


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 9:11 am
I agree that six months is not that long in the healthcare field.

Going over things and asking myself if I did everything I should have is something I try to do after every shift. I notice what I did right and what I missed, not to hit myself over the head with it but to remember for next time. But what you are describing sounds very extreme. If your husband is ready for you to quit - it is obviously taking over in other areas of your life.

It sounds to me like you might just not feel ready for your role, whether you actually are or you aren't. It isn't about passing tests or getting a degree. Did you have an "internship" period which allowed you to do what you are doing now while working closely, or under, an experienced professional? A lot of what we learn is on the job, way beyond what we first learned in the classroom. Also, each job has specific requirements and will have its own learning period. So if you went directly from "learner mode" to "caregiver mode" without that bridge, it makes total sense that you would feel anxious.

To answer your question yes, I do sometimes feel some anxiety about my role in patient care. Patients lives are in my hands - that is a thought you shouldn't get used to.
But I remind myself of something that I heard in a lecture given by a well-known mikvah-lady in Jerusalem (I can't remember her name...). When she was approached by the community rabbi to be a mikvah lady, at first she said yes. Then she went back to him and told him: "I can't do it. It's such a huge responsibility! One mistake on my part and a woman can go home to her husband not tehorah, with immense consequences. I'm afraid to do it and I want to stop". The rabbi turned to her and said, "So, you think it is better to give the job to someone who is NOT afraid, who does not take the responsibility so seriously?"...

Awareness of the importance of your role is a good thing. Anxiety to the point you describe is not. So my advice to you would be 1. consider finding out if you can take a few of months to work together with someone experienced, and use the time to ask, get feedback and learn to the point where you feel that you are sure of yourself. If you are considering leaving the field, it sounds to me like it would be worth it to even consider doing it without pay for a little while, just to give yourself a chance to see if this will actually work for you. and 2. If you are still feeling anxiety, address that in the ways mentioned above.

Behatzlacha!
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Its Friday




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 10:32 am
amother wrote:
Sometimes it IS about the job.


One visit maximum 2 at the shrink will help you figure out if you need coaching or it's the job
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amother




Burlywood


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 10:59 am
I feel like I wrote your post, however, I have 8 years experience as a PA😢. I have thought about this a lot and have come to the conclusion that it is both my underlying anxiety and the job itself, with the job contributing more. I have had several different jobs and the one where I had more responsibility definitely caused way more anxiety. I still think about a patient from 8 years ago that I feel should have sued me for not referring him for surgery sooner!

I don't think you can be taking advice from people who are not doctors/PA's/NPs because they cannot possibly understand the responsibility and pressure we have.
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oakandfig19




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 11:54 am
I don't think this is just about your job. Many people have anxiety from work, but if it's interfering with your life it could be an anxiety disorder. I think you should consider seeing a therapist or doctor before calling it quits...there are a lot of stressors in life, so if you changed jobs, would it really get rid of the underlying anxiety? BTW I say this as someone with an anxiety disorder Smile
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amother




Jetblack


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 12:10 pm
amother wrote:
I feel like I wrote your post, however, I have 8 years experience as a PA😢. I have thought about this a lot and have come to the conclusion that it is both my underlying anxiety and the job itself, with the job contributing more. I have had several different jobs and the one where I had more responsibility definitely caused way more anxiety. I still think about a patient from 8 years ago that I feel should have sued me for not referring him for surgery sooner!

I don't think you can be taking advice from people who are not doctors/PA's/NPs because they cannot possibly understand the responsibility and pressure we have.


I’m a brand new NP. I’m officially trying to find a job, but I almost feel like I’d rather work as a RN in a team. I always have people to double check things with and I’m not the provider. My husband is annoyed because I spent so much money becoming one. And then I listen to people on here complain about NPs and PAs and why they’d rather see a doctor because we’re so incompetent and I wonder why I even bothered. I have anxiety too, but the job anxiety and regular anxiety are not the same thing.
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Its Friday




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 1:06 pm
amother wrote:
I’m a brand new NP. I’m officially trying to find a job, but I almost feel like I’d rather work as a RN in a team. I always have people to double check things with and I’m not the provider. My husband is annoyed because I spent so much money becoming one. And then I listen to people on here complain about NPs and PAs and why they’d rather see a doctor because we’re so incompetent and I wonder why I even bothered. I have anxiety too, but the job anxiety and regular anxiety are not the same thing.


Well not sure their degree but there are NPs and/or PAs that I prefer over certain MDs. If my regular Dr is not in, I refuse to see his partner MD. The same happened at another office. Hashem will give you "chein" in the eyes of patients beezras Hashem.
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amother




Jetblack


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 1:12 pm
Its Friday wrote:
Well not sure their degree but there are NPs and/or PAs that I prefer over certain MDs. If my regular Dr is not in, I refuse to see his partner MD. The same happened at another office. Hashem will give you "chein" in the eyes of patients beezras Hashem.


Thank you!
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amother




Cyan


Post  Tue, Jan 08 2019, 3:43 pm
I'm a PA who graduated top of my class and still felt completely uneducated, unprepared, and incompetent. I also felt like my job overloaded me right off the bat and didn't have proper on the job training. I quit, and never looked back. I wasn't going to take people's lives into my hands when even I didn't trust me. I still to this day have a hard time trusting other PAs knowing how limited their education is.
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