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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
How much say does a principal have?
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amother
Denim


 

Post Thu, May 09 2019, 5:33 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

And what do I tell the high school where I apply to? Why is she changing schools mid high school? I'm livid .


You tell them exactly what happened. You did right by your son, and the principal is taking revenge now.

I wouldn't keep this quiet. I would let this become public. You may surprised how many people experienced similar, and people may have suggestions for you. I don't see any reason to protect the principal's reputation.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Thu, May 09 2019, 6:11 pm
Hatzlachah. Based on your description I think I know your location. Re the other high school- your best avenue in right now is probably a board member. You've been in the community long enough that you probably know one, or someone who does. Get the list and go through it with dh.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 11:33 am
OP here,
The high school teachers where my other child currently is sabotaged her chances of getting into another school.
So my dd has no high school for next year now.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 11:41 am
this is crazy! have you spoken to a board member at the other school?
are you sure moving isn't an option? We left that community when the "other school" didn't work for our dd. the third school didn't have a girls program at the time.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 12:04 pm
No we can't move bec of financial reasons.
They are sabotaging my elementary kids chances too but there are more options there.
I'm so stuck & lost.
Crying Crying
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amother
Oak


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 12:19 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
No we can't move bec of financial reasons.
They are sabotaging my elementary kids chances too but there are more options there.
I'm so stuck & lost.
Crying Crying


OP, speak to your rabbi, or anyone who has any influence in the community. Ask them to intervene with the FORMER principal. He's trying to make your kids the sacrificial lambs to ensure everyone else knows not to cross him. Let him know that if he backs off so your kids can go to other schools next year, you'll be quiet and meek. But if he doesn't, you'll do whatever it takes, including taking him to a beit din or court for defamation (saying untrue things about you and your kids that resulted in injury) or whatever else you can think of, and get publicity up the wazoo about it.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 12:26 pm
[quote="amother [ Oak ]"]OP, speak to your rabbi, or anyone who has any influence in the community. Ask them to intervene with the FORMER principal. He's trying to make your kids the sacrificial lambs to ensure everyone else knows not to cross him. Let him know that if he backs off so your kids can go to other schools next year, you'll be quiet and meek. But if he doesn't, you'll do whatever it takes, including taking him to a beit din or court for defamation (saying untrue things about you and your kids that resulted in injury) or

Yes- make a big stink. Tell anyone and everyone that your lovely, smart, aidel etc daughter was thrown out because a different child of yours went to school ABC instead of XYZ. Gosh, I wish I knew which community this is. Make a big stink. Have meetings with board members one-on-one at their or your houses. Make them feel guilty. How are you standing by when this man is punishing my entire family because we dared decided differently from him on a hs for another son? Go to rabbonim. Go to rich people. Go to the relatives of rich people.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 12:29 pm
oak. I'm pretty sure I know the town. the principal is very powerful. He's incredibly wealthy. I was told by someone "not to cross him" and I didn't even have any kids in his school or plan to send any there. My kid was in a certain playgroup and parents wanted the playgroup to continue to kindergarten. This principal said he wouldn't accept any of the kids to his school if we did that. I asked the person in charge, ok so enough of us are planning to send to the other school anyway so it doesn't matter. He wouldn't do it because of the power this principal has. Its really not so pashut Sad

Have you looked in to a girls high school outside your immediate neighborhood where you might know someone who could help? Is there any teacher who could vouch for your daughter even if your current high school won't?
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 12:36 pm
This is just tragic, to mess up with lives of innocent children like this, to pain their parents for daring not to follow his orders.
I take it, it's a small oot community? Why can't rabbonim and machers band together to go against this gaivadig filth?
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 12:38 pm
I am so horrified by what im reading. I feel like vomitting. OP I am so so sorry for what youre going through. Im outraged! I wish I knew what to do for you....anyone here know Rechnitz? Or a huge Rav?

Honestly OP, even with pull, and even if you get your kids/daughter back in the school, im not sure thats the best thing for her anymore. You say her teachers sabotaged her chances of acceptance elsewhere-it sounds like she may not be treated well even if she would get back in this school...

This is awful
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 12:57 pm
deleted and clarified below.

OP- have you spoken to any of the local rabbanim? I'm not optimistic but maybe they would have some advice?

edited to clarify: I think other of my posts probably made it more clear where I was coming from. I totally understand the op and really feel for her.

My dh can't stand the man either. We didn't send to that school in part because I didn't think my dh could deal with him without it getting really ugly. He's a big reason why we left the community. My point was really to explain to other posters what this op is up against. It's not her imagination. She's dealing with an incredibly powerful person who has a lot of people thinking he's awesome and feeling very grateful to him. I wish it wasn't so Sad
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 2:02 pm
What am I to call a principal who does everything to ruin the family kids' lives only because their parents didn't follow their advice on their son's HS?? And that everyone is petrified of him and his actions were they to disagree with him?
Does it really matter at this point how much money he gave the school? His gaiva runs before him.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 2:26 pm
Exactly no one will cross him or stand up to him. No rabbonim, no one.
He owns a few schools here , so everyone needs him.
and by the way the high school was out of the area.
He even messed up the kids chances w the other local elementary - which is pure rishus bec where should they go?
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Seashell




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 2:58 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
Exactly no one will cross him or stand up to him. No rabbonim, no one.
He owns a few schools here , so everyone needs him.
and by the way the high school was out of the area.
He even messed up the kids chances w the other local elementary - which is pure rishus bec where should they go?


Honestly, I’d write up this whole story and send it to yeshivaworld, vosizneis, etc. and post on social media, get it out. That’s the only thing that works now-a-days. Don’t write any names, but enuf details to make it obvious. The public’s outrage will hopefully do something.

I’d also contact rechnitz. I know personally ppl he’s helped, he has a strong passion for this.

Unfortunately your only other option is to move. Or homeschool -but that may affect your kids socially especially with this whole story.
Do your kids know what’s going on? What about the high school girl? This is seriously enuf to make a kid seriously question yiddishkeit if their leaders act like such sick hypocrites.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 3:03 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:
Exactly no one will cross him or stand up to him. No rabbonim, no one.
He owns a few schools here , so everyone needs him.
and by the way the high school was out of the area.
He even messed up the kids chances w the other local elementary - which is pure rishus bec where should they go?


So nu, are you still telling me not to call him gaivadig filth?
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amother
Blush


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 7:47 pm
And this, dear imamothers, is exhibit A on why OOT communities are not always the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Go big, OP. Take him down. Get people privately on your side. Teachers who know, love, and can vouch for your daughter. Other askanim. Everyone else.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Fri, May 31 2019, 7:49 pm
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
ruby- you are calling him names but if it's the community I'm thinking of many people have tremendous respect for him. He has put in a tremendous amount of money and koach in to this community. As I wrote upthread, I've never heard of him doing such a thing before, it just wouldn't surprise me. I think many people would be surprised if they knew which community I think it is.


OP- have you spoken to any of the local rabbanim? I'm not optimistic but maybe they would have some advice?


This reads like someone refusing to believe a man is abusive because he gives so much tzeddakah and always helps the community. Don't you dare gaslight OP like that. Sorry I'm mad.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Sat, Jun 01 2019, 10:29 pm
deleted. edited my previous post above to clarify instead.
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