What age can a DC come home from school...

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amother

Beige

Tue, Jan 08 2019, 9:57 pm

1) What age would you allow a DC come home from school to an empty house?

2) For how long will you feel comfortable leaving DC alone?

3) Would the age change if the DC has a younger sibling coming home with them?

My youngest is way to young to stay home. I work and run home to make the bus. Just curious as to when (how many years Very Happy

)I can start making a quick stop on the way home.

amother

Pewter

Tue, Jan 08 2019, 10:12 pm

depends so much on the kid. I'd say 9-10 on average.

amother

Slategray

Tue, Jan 08 2019, 10:21 pm

Think about the kids emotions. My mother was never home when I got home. While I was old enough to take care of myself, I never had my mother greet me and talk about my day. Not saying to never do it, but something to think about.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jan 08 2019, 10:43 pm

Please avoid doing this if you can! My neighbor gets home from work about 15/20 minutes after her daughters bus. Her daughter gets off the bus and waits on the stoop till her mother gets home, no matter the weather. She is doing this from nursery, the girl us often nebach crying by the door. My heart breaks for her. If possible, avoid doing this till 8th grade or high school.

amother

Pewter

Tue, Jan 08 2019, 10:45 pm

amother wrote:

Why is she waiting outside? Does she not have access to the house?

Maybe this kid is not ready for it, but that doesn't mean it's no ok across the board.

I was coming home to an empty house when I was 9 and home alone for a good hour, hour and a half, every day, and I not only was fine, I enjoyed the peace and quiet.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Jan 08 2019, 10:49 pm

I'd say 8 or 9 depending on the kid (and NOT with younger sibs until at least age 11-12) as long as the kid can enter the home herself and knows not to let in strangers etc...

simba

Tue, Jan 08 2019, 10:57 pm

Whatever age it is, please make sure there is a landline in the house so they can call you or 911 in case of emergency.
So many homes don’t have one today because everyone has a cell phone.

pizza4

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 12:04 am

I don't remember exactly what age I was maybe 8th grade,when my mother started working a bit later and I'd let myself in with a key, I felt so grown up and enjoyed the quiet to unwind. Until a friend told me, so you're a latchkey kid? I then realized it isn't considered so great, but still didn't care! I didn't need to talk about my day the minute I got home! I prized every minute of privacy I got.

ra_mom

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 12:06 am

12. But keep in touch throughout. She should call you as soon as she gets in.

groisamomma

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 12:14 am

I only started working later this year, getting home a half hour after the kids twice a week, now that dd is in 8th grade and can come home with dd2 (12) and dd3 (11). I still hate the idea of them eating when I'm not home--this is an old paranoia of mine because one of my kids choked and I'm still traumatized. Other than that, there's no reason they can't come home together starting in upper elementary.

amother

Beige

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 12:18 am

Ok. Time for honestly. I didn't allow my kids to come home alone until the oldest was 12. I am currently running to catch the bus for my youngest. I set my schedule so that I am typically home about 10 min before the earliest time the bus can come.

I just met an acquaintance. We discussed our work hours. She works late, way past school hours. Her 2 kids, under 12, are home alone for a while. I didn't feel comfortable and was concerned for her kids. I kept my mouth shut since I honestly don't feel it's my place to say anything.

amother

Beige

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 12:21 am

amother wrote:

How in the world is a bus driver dropping off a young child without an adult taking the kid off the bus? This is terrible!

I have seen some neighbors make arrangements for their DC to go to someone's house for a few minutes until they get home from work.

asmileaday

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 12:44 am

My 8 year old sometimes gets in a few minutes before me if I'm out but it's a rare happening.
I'd totally feel comfortable allowing my 12 year old to let himself in.
I think that on a daily basis they need to be at least 11-12.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 9:00 am

amother wrote:

And you watch this girl just sit on the stoop in the cold weather? Why don’t you let her in for the 15 minutes?

finprof

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 9:06 am

Depends on the kid. I started at age 8 walking to and from school alone. I would leave for school an hr after my parents left for work and be home alone for about 2 hrs after school. My oldest is only 6 now so I haven't had to make the decision myself yet. Good luck!

amother

Wine

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 9:08 am

My dd is 11 and she comes home at least an hour before me every day. I hate it, but I don't have a choice right now. Her high school sisters come home a half hour after her twice a week, the other two days they come home at least an hour after her.

This is a fairly new arrangement, my hours changed in the middle of last school year, so for many years I was home when my kids came home every day. She says she doesn't mind, she likes being home alone and she really seems fine. I ask her to call me every day when she walks in, but most days she gets busy right away and she forgets.

Ruchel

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 9:13 am

amother wrote:

HIGH SCHOOL? seriously? Are american kids incapable?
Not even talking of what used to be done, having the key at 6 etc, but???

Chayalle

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 9:24 am

amother wrote:

And you watch this girl just sit on the stoop in the cold weather? Why don’t you let her in for the 15 minutes?

This is pretty judgemental.

I'm blessed to work from home, so I'm home when my kids come home.

I'll share my own experience with the flip side of a neighbor who was not home when her kids came home. There were two sisters, and they were about age 6 and 7. They were supposed to be home together for 1/2 hour and then their older sister was coming home.

The reality was that they were unhappy being home without an adult for that 1/2 hour. Plus the older sister did not like having to babysit everyday for an hour. The kids would come knocking on my door, day in, day out, saying no one was home..... They didn't just stay for 1/2 hour - I found the older sister wouldn't answer the phone, or would go to a friend, figuring this way the kids would stay by me.

I work full time, and I couldn't get out after work to do errands. I found myself stuck with 2 extra kids when I had appointments. I had regular supper guests...and often the kids were at my house so long that I found my own kids' bedtimes were being delayed, baths couldn't be started till they went home, sometimes as late as 7 (the mother also figured she could take advantage).

I finally had a talk with the parents and set some firm boundaries in place.

Emerald imamother, taking in the neighbor might likely result in alot more than 15 minutes. It was way more than 1/2 hour by me.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 9:27 am

amother wrote:

Well that is child abuse/neglect. I don’t think that’s what op is talking about.
My older one started at age 10. My younger son at age 8.

Wed, Jan 09 2019, 9:36 am

I was nine. That's reasonable for most kids, but of course some will need more supervision than others.

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