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Chickpea


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:32 pm
OK, so when we have Shabbos guests, I always serve the guests before I serve my husband, out of honor to the guests. They invariably take most of the meat out of the cholent, leaving my husband with minimal meat to eat. Who should be getting served first, guests or husband?
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Maya


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:36 pm
Do you mean passing around a platter or serving individual plates?
Either way, husband, or wife, goes first.
Last edited by Maya on Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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pause


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:36 pm
I always put serving dishes in front of DH. This way he can choose - according to who the guests are. He usually passes the dish on to the guests to serve themselves first.
But mostly, I plate individual servings so that I can ensure there's enough of everything for everyone.
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33055


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:37 pm
I always serve DH first. And the male guest on his right slightly after him. I carry one plate in each hand.
You should plate your chulent if this is an issue.
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flowerpower


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:40 pm
My husband alwAys gets served first. Then the oldest male guest etc. I serve individual portions so we don’t have that issue.
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facebooknyny


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:41 pm
Maybe leave some meat in the crock pot and after the guests take refill for your dh.
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Chickpea


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:46 pm
amother wrote: | Put more meat in your cholent. |
I add a full 2 pounds of an expensive cut of beef into the cholent. How much am I supposed to be putting in? Cholent is not the main dish...I always serve an additional 2 meat main dishes.
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Iymnok


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:54 pm
You have a Mitzvah to honor your husband. Give him first.
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ra_mom


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 4:11 pm
Chickpea wrote: | I add a full 2 pounds of an expensive cut of beef into the cholent. How much am I supposed to be putting in? Cholent is not the main dish...I always serve an additional 2 meat main dishes. |
Your dh should be served first. But either way, keep some in the kitchen if you know your guests polish off whatever's put in front of them.
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dancingqueen


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 4:42 pm
DH is usually helping me serve along with an assortment of our guests when we host. But if he was sitting and I was serving something individual like a bowl of soup I would serve him before other adults and vs vsa.
When its just our family we usually end up giving the kids first because they cant wait (young kids).
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Chickpea


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Sun, Jan 13 2019, 4:46 pm
Thank you imamothers for your help.You all gave me great advice. I feel terrible about not knowing the halacha and (unintentionally) disrespecting my dh. I already asked him machilah.
Btw, I always ask him if it's OK with him if I serve the guests first, and he always says it alright, but still....I was wrong.
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