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-> Vacation and Traveling
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amother
Wheat
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 Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:09 pm
Dan's Deals posted a sale on El Al tickets that includes Pesach...but only if you leave plenty of time before and after. It would mean taking my kids out of school from Wednesday when their last day is Friday, and bringing them back Thursday when the first day back is supposed to be Monday. They are in early elementary school, so not babies anymore that you say it doesn't matter if they miss preschool, but they're not in high pressure grades yet either. It's definitely a lot of school, though, and they will probably be doing special things before vacation to prepare for Pesach.
We have close relatives in Israel (not parents or grandparents) and not in US. We spent last Pesach with them and it was amazing and we would love to do it again but for full price probably wouldn't. It's a huge expense and we are what you would consider low income, we were only able to do it last year because a family member paid half as a gift. The same offer could be extended this year as well but the cost is significant for the person who gave it, they're not super rich or anything. Just very very generous and caring a lot about the chance to spend Pesach with family.
I'm worried about the message it sends to the school if I pull the kids out for 3 days (most of each week) before and after vacation. Worried about what my kids will miss and if they will fall behind. On the other hand, nonstop to Israel for $850 a person... to go at a day that wouldn't miss so much work and school would be prohibitive nonstop (about $1500 each) or it would be about $1000 to go with stopovers in weird places. If I were getting tickets on good days for $600 each then I could possibly figure out what to do with my family in Istanbul for 8 hours, but I didn't find that metziah. No idea whether one will come up farther along, it's very early to book for April but now is when ElAl is on sale.
Help! What do I do???
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amother
Maroon
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:11 pm
I'd go. Its important to see your family. Tell the scholl and bring along schoolwork. Make sure to not have other vacation or personal days if not necessary.
Last edited by amother on Sat, Jan 02 2021, 8:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Jade
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:20 pm
As an elementary school teacher I say GO! Eretz Yisroel plus family is priceless! Enjoy!!!
Last edited by amother on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:25 pm
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I don't get the issue with missing 6 days of school. How much do they miss already at that age?
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amother
Silver
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:29 pm
I'm writing as an administrator in a school --
Yes, you are sending a terrible message to the school and your children. Namely, your children's teachers who work so hard day in day out are of second importance. It is so so hard on a teacher and a school to have children leaving early and coming back late. And we will definitely talk about you behind your back, and treat your children differently because we disagree with your choices.
Sadly we are raising children today in a completely self-centered, selfish world where we justify things we do because they're convenient for us, without thinking of the consequences on anybody else.
I'll get bashed for saying it, but just telling it like it is...
(Rant over)
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flowerpower
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:30 pm
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Go for sure! They are not learning much erev Pesach. Trust me.
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happymom123
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:39 pm
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I'd say go for it. But make sure your children understand that missing school isn't to be taken for granted. This is a one time thing and you discussed it at length and you will be in touch with their teachers to bring some school work with you and properly catch up after.
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amother
Magenta
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:51 pm
Amother silver, you really need to chill.
Wrong message to the kids? They are in LOWER ELEMENTARY.
They wouldn't even realize they are missing days of school unless you make a deal of it.
And if teachers seriously take offence at this and feel that this means you put them at second importance (what does this even mean?), then I think they should find a different profession. And certainly if they're going to treat them differently because of the parents' choices that they don't agree with.
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amother
Wheat
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:56 pm
I'm OP and I appreciate the school amother's perspective. Thank you for sharing. Teachers are human, they're not horrible people if they get irritated by irritating things. The truth isn't always what everyone wants to hear.
I may end up doing it if it's worth it to me overall but I appreciate hearing this perspective.
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amother
Black
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 8:05 pm
| amother wrote: | I'm writing as an administrator in a school --
Yes, you are sending a terrible message to the school and your children. Namely, your children's teachers who work so hard day in day out are of second importance. It is so so hard on a teacher and a school to have children leaving early and coming back late. And we will definitely talk about you behind your back, and treat your children differently because we disagree with your choices.
Sadly we are raising children today in a completely self-centered, selfish world where we justify things we do because they're convenient for us, without thinking of the consequences on anybody else.
I'll get bashed for saying it, but just telling it like it is...
(Rant over) |
As a teacher I'll add: you say you'll have the kids make up the work, but realize that the teacher has to put in special preparation at a time of year when no one has a minute to spare I order to have everything ready for your child, especially for the week after vacation which she's probably intending to prepare at midnight isru chag.
Then your children will come back, jet lagged, and the teacher will have to reintroduce them to routines, having already done that with the class, whole catching then up on the work they missed, because no matter what you intend, they won't have learned everything they missed.
We understand why you do this, but please recognize how difficult it is for the teacher.
Also, especially in the lower grades where so much of the learning is through frontal stories, your child will miss more than you think.
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amother
Gold
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 8:11 pm
If that’s the only way I could go then I would probably do it.
Maybe speak to the teachers now and ask them if it would be okay...
Even if you don’t end up going, other families in your kids school will probably do this.
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amother
Mauve
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 8:35 pm
Personally, I've done this and will likely do it again. The message it send my kids is, we love EY and take every opportunity to go when it's affordable to us. BH they have an attachment to our land from a young age because of their experiences there. They are strong students and I'm sincerely not concerned with what they're missing nor how easily they integrate back into class. When they're out for a week with the flu they manage, when they miss a week of school to be in eretz hakedosha they manage. I'm in touch with the teachers before and after and work with my kids to teach them any new concepts in math etc at home. It has always worked out well and we've never heard anything but warm wishes from the administration and teachers.
As an aside, a school administrator who freely admits to speaking negatively about families because of travel to EY for YT makes me ill. My kids' teachers receive much verbal appreciation from me literally all year long, and having a positive relationship overall goes a long way in smoothing over situations that may be less than ideal in the classroom. It's part of life, and as I said, they've always been warm and kind in return.
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groisamomma
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 8:39 pm
It's totally true that no matter the good intentions at the end of the day it falls on the teacher to fill in the gaps that your child missed when he/she was out. Bringing along "busy work" is dumb because who's actually sitting the kid down to teach it to him/her on such a trip? (I send along video lessons and even that's not enough to keep the kids on par. It still takes work on my part to fill in the gaps later.)
Having said that, I still think you should go. If you're committed to calling the teacher and working with her to make up the work when you get back, then go for it. That shouldn't be the deciding factor for such a big trip. You may not get another opportunity like this again and E"Y over Pesach is beautiful.
Go, and make the most of every minute. Your kids will remember it forever.
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amother
Silver
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 8:41 pm
Notice I didn't say whether she should go or not go. She asked what message she is sending to the school and teachers and I told her my perspective. I am not running a school alone - I have many colleagues and most of them wholeheartedly agree, although none of us would come out and say it publicly.
But again, this is the world today, and that is why it is so often done and commonly accepted as normal - it's like it's a "right" to do as one pleases.
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amother
Mauve
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 8:49 pm
| amother wrote: | Notice I didn't say whether she should go or not go. She asked what message she is sending to the school and teachers and I told her my perspective. I am not running a school alone - I have many colleagues and most of them wholeheartedly agree, although none of us would come out and say it publicly.
But again, this is the world today, and that is why it is so often done and commonly accepted as normal - it's like it's a "right" to do as one pleases. |
Your assumption is that people do as they please. The reality most often is that they weigh their options and make the choice they think is right. Yes, I am completely fine with sending my kids the message that an opportunity to visit EY, which may not come up again in the near future, overrides the challenges to everyone involved. Again, I'm not sure how someone frum can be so callous about trash talking families for spending a YT in our holy Land, and treating the kids negatively for this. It's not a vacation to Aruba in middle of March or a cruise in June. It's going to EY at a time of Aliyah l'regel.
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amother
Wheat
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 8:50 pm
Well, message-wise, there's definitely a difference between going to EY and going to Florida, Switzerland, or a cruise. But it's still similar that it makes a scene when they come back days after everyone else. Maybe there will be others doing the same but it doesn't have to be my kids.
Still a lot to weigh.
I shared that we went last year to clarify that it's not exactly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us. Still very precious but if we had never been to EY, especially for yom tov, then I wouldn't have so many doubts about doing it this way.
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amother
Red
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:49 pm
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We went last yr a few days after pesach for 10 days, I took my boys out of school with permission from the principal and rebbes. They were all so excited that we were able to give my kids the opportunity to go. Not a single negative word from the anyone.
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essie14
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 10:40 pm
Family First. Always.
Your kids will be fine, there will be no life-long repercussions for missing a few days of school in elementary school. The experiences and memories of Pesach spent with family in Eretz Hakodesh will affect them much more.
Your kids will not be the only ones missing some days of school attached to Pesach vacation. I promise.
It's not like you are going to Cancun.
Please take advantage and go.
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DrMom
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Tue, Jan 15 2019, 10:48 pm
I am a big proponent of prioritizing studies. As they get older, it will be difficult to miss school.
But 3 days? In lower primary school? Go for it.
Family is important, and travelling abroad -- to E"Y no less! -- is also educational. 
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