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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Dd what to do next year



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amother
Gold


 

Post Sat, Jan 19 2019, 3:01 pm
Dd is in seminary in israel this year. She went a year early and has grown tremendously, but I am not getting the sense of warmth from the school. We just came back from a visit and all dd was worried about was missing too many classes, not because of the learning but they have it so drilled if you miss a certain amount of classes, even if you are sick you won't get credit.
The head of school saw us, knew we were coming and only said hello, did not even take 2 minutes fo a schmooze, it was weird. Dd feels no connection to any of the teachers. She said some of the teachers have "groupies " but she is not that kind if kid.
She has made some friends, but I feel she is too stressed about school and cant just enjoy the learning.
I kind of feel we were sold a bill of goods and even though we spoke with several people about the school no one gave us a full picture.
Now everyone is talking about next year. I was under the impression that shana bet for girls is like the boys yeshivot and is a full year, apparently its only half a year
Dd is not ready for college yet and could benefit from a shana bet, just not sure where or what? She wishes that seminary was like yeshiva, you go and learn and non of the pressure about exams or curfew with 3 meals a day.. etc
Darchei binah and meohr are not what she is looking for. She needs a school thay will say here is the halacha and here are the sources etc. But still have that warmth, thats really what she is missing.
She also says it looks bad to do shana bet at a different school, I said maybe you are just looking for different programming
But what do I know..ha!
Any ideas???
Not ready to call other seminaries yet, cuz I dont want it to get back to hers.


Last edited by amother on Sat, Jan 19 2019, 9:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sat, Jan 19 2019, 6:07 pm
I don't think it looks bad to go to a different seminary.
And in darchei binah Shana bet there may not be a curfew (there wasn't when I went, in 2011). Plus, if she doesn't need a transcript, maybe she can miss more classes than allowed- but why does she even want to miss so many classes? Many Darchei Binah classes are only once or twice a week; if you miss a class, you're really missing a lot! How hard is it to just show up (other than nach yomi Wink )

I loved darchei binah and felt like I was treated like an adult in Shana bet.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Sat, Jan 19 2019, 9:36 pm
We had come to israel for my son's bar mitzvah, dd was so worried about misding class that she could not enjoy our visit. Again only because of credits, not because of material.
At one point earlier in the year she had fallen and twisted her snkle, she refused to go get it checked because of demerits for mussing class.
I think thats a little nuts for the school to penalize for health reasons.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Sat, Jan 19 2019, 9:45 pm
She also had taken off for her great grandmother's unveiling in israel snd she lost points for that!
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Sat, Jan 19 2019, 9:59 pm
Is she there for the credit? Why don't you tell her not to worry about the credits.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Sat, Jan 19 2019, 10:12 pm
Easier said ... She will be getting credit for Stern college. I told her not to worry about the credits, but it seems to be part of the school culture and pressure.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 5:34 am
My dd had a similar experience in seminary and it makes me so sad that she didn't have the wonderful experience many girls have. If you can have at least a partial "do over," by having her do shana bet somewhere warmer, I would do it, especially if she is young for her grade.
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teachkids




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 6:13 am
Just be aware- seminarys provide more credit than Stern accepts, so if she loses a few, she'll still be OK.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 6:24 am
if DD's seminary penalized for reasons of missing like that I would call the menaheles and ask and make sure they knew these were valid parentally obligated absences -- not to helicopter or ask for a break but something seems off here! Id want to suss it out.
also if she's feeling stressed id want them to give her some TLC and unless they are truly out to lunch they should want to know and be responsive appropriately

ugh sorry about this

I would tell dd that she doesn't have to worry about the credits they give more than any school including stern will accept afaik you can check with stern
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 6:54 am
amother wrote:
if DD's seminary penalized for reasons of missing like that I would call the menaheles and ask and make sure they knew these were valid parentally obligated absences -- not to helicopter or ask for a break but something seems off here! Id want to suss it out.
also if she's feeling stressed id want them to give her some TLC and unless they are truly out to lunch they should want to know and be responsive appropriately



Not all seminaries are warm. My dd attended sem the year after she lost her father. Her grandmother was very ill and died midyear. The sem couldn't care less, except to complain that she didn't attend many of the optional tiyulim, etc.

But it can't hurt to try.
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Nechami




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 9:22 am
That really is tough Sad I can imagine how let down you feel.

You mentioned that you met the principal for 2 minutes during your visit.

In their defense, as someone who is connected to the seminary scene, this time of year they are inundated with parents and alumni coming to visit.

From experience, if any parent comes during this time of year (during registration for next year, plus January vacation, alumni all visiting) it is impossible to see the principal. Most seminaries are willing to make an official appointment in advance for the parents to spend time with the principals.

Without an appointment, just "dropping by", chances are there are ten others doing the same and you will be lucky with a "hello". The seminaries I know really respect parents who make the effort to come and touch base with the staff - we are constantly amazed how some parents just send their kids off and disassociate for the year!!

I would make an appointment to meet with the principal and voice your concerns. You'll be doing you and your daughter a favor.
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