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Shmiras einayim! Help!



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amother
Puce


 

Post Sun, Jan 20 2019, 2:07 am
Whats the halachah of seeing not clean stuff on the web?(by mistake on you tube)
And how do I get it out of my head??
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 20 2019, 3:49 am
Different for men and women, but shmutz isn't for anyone.
I suppose you need to distract yourself and install a filter
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amother
Orange


 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 2:01 pm
Just dont think about it, and it will get forgotten.
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 3:52 pm
amother wrote:
Just dont think about it, and it will get forgotten.


I strongly disagree. I saw something as a little kid in the library. I was caught by surprise and I never forgot the image. (I also never forgot the sound of the person laughing when they saw my surprise.) This is exactly why shmiras einayim is important, both for men and women. Your child can never "unsee" something.

No ideas OP, although you have my sympathy.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 3:54 pm
Delete

Last edited by amother on Mon, Feb 11 2019, 11:48 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Teal


 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 4:23 pm
smileforamile wrote:
There's nothing you can do to forget the image, but by filling your mind with other things, especially things with kedusha, decreases the likelihood that it will come to the forefront of your mind as much.

We all know the story of the kallah who saw something inappropriate and then had the image seared on her mind while walking down to the chuppah. I was petrified that this would happen to me, since I was very exposed as a teen. B'H it didn't.

What's the story? What happened to her?
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 4:26 pm
Delete

Last edited by amother on Mon, Feb 11 2019, 10:00 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 4:29 pm
dealing with "trying to forget" for over 10 years! let me know if you find a solution!
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pizza4




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 4:51 pm
I think the story was made up to scare us, and I was but bh I had other things on my mind walking to the chuppah such as praying for my future and for others.
You can't erase something you saw. But do not dwell on it, simply move on to other thoughts. Fill your mind with other things so that it becomes unimportant.
Maybe try cutting down on YouTube use if possible. Or put some other restrictions in place for yourself so it won't happen that easily. Just suggestions; you know your own situation best.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 4:55 pm
Delete

Last edited by amother on Mon, Feb 11 2019, 10:00 am; edited 1 time in total
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 5:00 pm
I don’t understand. OP: did this happen to you now in adulthood? And it’s on YouTube but so how explicit could it have been?
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 5:01 pm
Delete

Last edited by amother on Mon, Feb 11 2019, 10:01 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
White


 

Post Wed, Jan 30 2019, 5:01 pm
smileforamile wrote:
Agreed, but I definitely could have imagined it happening. Actually, I think hearing that story may make it more likely for it to happen to someone, ironically...


Yes, exactly. Don't think about purple elephants. It's a really stupid way of dealing with the issue.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 03 2019, 3:59 am
I heard a story about a kallah who thought about purple elephants under the chuppah and broke into laughter.

Well it beats tears.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Sun, Feb 03 2019, 4:43 am
amother wrote:
Whats the halachah of seeing not clean stuff on the web?(by mistake on you tube)
And how do I get it out of my head??


I actually think our focus on not seeing things actually makes us focus on it much more than is healthy.

I’m a BT and have in the past purposefully seen numerous images that are inappropriate yet I never think of these. Even now while I type this, I can’t recall any specific image. I never think of any of the inappropriate images when with my DH or while I walked at the Chuppah. I mean seriously, I was too busy trying to count how many times I’d encircled him!

My point is wondering why people are holding on to images which in my landscape are trivial and unimportant? They have been replaced by images that are far more important to me: my DH naked; my DCs covered in snow on a snow day...
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amother
Navy


 

Post Sun, Feb 03 2019, 4:43 am
Repeat post deleted.
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