Can you explain how you saw G-d's Hand in a big crisis,

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 7:58 am

and how this comforted you.

I mean big, like Ch"v a child going missing , or otd, or dh walking out on you, or your child chv going to jail, or findong out you or your dh was terminally ill at young age?

Kiwi13

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 9:02 am

I can’t say I necessarily understood anything about it, or even that I could see Hashem’s hand in orchestrating the events, but during certain times in my life I took comfort in the idea that when we’re hurting, Hashem hurts along with us. I took comfort in the relationship and in the gift of tefillah. My tefillos were sometimes very bitter and angry, but there was still a relationship between the Creator of the universe and me. He created me and knows me better than any person ever could, and had greater care and compassion than any person ever could. I believe He can also handle my rage and bitterness and that He holds me close and wants the relationship no matter the circumstances. I take comfort in that.

ectomorph

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 9:02 am

U can pm me for my story.

amother

Rose

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 10:27 am

I have been through several periods of real darkness, times when I felt overwhelmed and in deep pain.
MAny, many times I have B"H seen the Hand of Hshem inetrvening, showing me that He was me even though - for reasons known only to Him - He had chosen to leave me in teh dark (so to speak).'
How did I see His hand?
Not in great, glaring miracles.
In teh small things.
I can't write details - don;t want to out myself. But obvious cases of hashgacha pratis. Whenever that happened - I felt like I'd been given a warm hug in the darkness.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 11:07 am

Stayed in severe emotional abusive marriage for sake of kids shidduchim. No one knew our terrible circumstances, the chaos, the cries in this house etc. We seemed like the nicest well to do family, great home, wonderful father. Great kids etc.

Once kids reached age of shidduchim, STBX decided he will hurt us most by divorcing. At first we were beyond devastated, mourning the loss of great shidduchim and the facade of being this high esteemed family.

In retrospect, it was a huge mistake to stay in this marriage. We're still feeling the very real effects and trying hard to heal. I had not been aware of the effects of living with abuse.

Once separated, we couldn't thank Hashem enough. We felt like Hashem Himself said "ENOUGH! now I will take you all out of this!". We are now enjoying freedom and serenity that we didn't know existed..

So he badly besmirched me and my children with totally made up stories and everyone who knows us thinks he's the NICEST person ever and I'm crazy, bad etc and my kids look good but are really bad, blah blah.. Accordingly, I couldn't see how any normal person would marry my kids.

As of now, we've been beyond lucky and I say it with tears in my eyes. No longer fearing what others think of us, some of my children took divorced spouses but very, very special ones with super middos from great homes and are very happily married bH. I see with my own eyes that miraculously my children got better spouses than they would have gotten before the breakup. BH!!! You see, my DCs spouses were also terribly besmirched so they didn't believe what people say.

The engagements and wedding were a breeze, because we no longer have to deal with this crazy maker, terrifying man. BH!

Ruchel

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 5:34 am

It takes a tzadik to see it on such hard things.
Smaller, yes, I have plenty

amother

Linen

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 1:14 pm

I have heard inspirational speakers say that even after all of the difficulties they went through (I remember one who lost limbs) that they turned into different people entirely through their ordeal and knew that it would have never occurred if they never went through the trauma. Only when you are so low can you rise up even higher than before. When asked if they would want to go back in time if they could to do things over they refused saying despite the difficulty, they would never go back. They appreciated the hardship for the outcome it produced.

Most people, after time, can grow from their most challenging moments and appreciate the new person that have been changed into. I am saying this as someone who lost a baby and feel it deeply daily but can still say that it solidified our marriage and helped us become stronger with more emunah that Hashem knows the bigger picture and we can't and don't need to understand it all right now. We know everything is a gift, even the loss of life that we experience. I feel the short time we had her was a gift. Hashem gives and Hashem takes. Nothing belongs to us except for our mitzvot and our choices. To assume something you lost was something taken from you to which you were entitled to is wrong. Hashem knows what He is doing and always does middah kneged middah (it could have been correcting something from a previous life's sin) and everything He does is a chessed from His vantage point.

In terms of a person going OTD - often that is the way they come back to rise higher in their faith and belief. Most baalei teshuva have stories where they went really low before they turned around. That's why any tzaddik can tell you that he'll never be on the level of a baal teshuva. We don't wish it for our children but they have their own path and their avoda. The ballet dancer must break herself in order to get her to be the best. They all go in knowing it is a painful process but afterwards they will reap the benefits. If only everyone could go through life understanding that their biggest challenges will only help them become the greatest people they could possibly be. Our challenges are given to us so we can go through them with a smile on our face and give thanks to Hashem no matter what. That man who got fired...he was able to start his own business and is so much happier but it wasn't easy when the crisis struck. That woman, who's dh left her and it was so difficult in the beginning, she now has found true happiness that was never available to her when she was still married. That young woman or man who is still looking to get married after many exhausting years, would never have been happy with another. Their future spouse is still becoming religious and isn't ready yet but they must keep faith that their time will come. Even if it doesn't and they weren't meant to get married, or have kids, whatever their challenge is - they have an importance on their own and a good life to lead and Hashem will explain the reasoning after they have lived their life. To know the reason while still alive takes away the merit one receives for the emunah he has while living.

mha3484

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 1:16 pm

My life imploded in a particularly public fashion. In the moment, all I could do was live day to day sometimes even hour to hour. It was really really hard. Now its been almost 6 years and I can clearly see how much these experiences shaped me for the better. I am happy to elaborate more privately if you want. The issues involved grief, marriage and family dysfunction.

sarah58

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 1:32 pm

it's easier looking back and saying it was good.... the hard part is to see the good while you are in the situation

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 2:04 pm

Having several children naturally after having severe infertility and heavy treatment.

amother

Burgundy

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 2:06 pm

Child was critical and bh recovered. She's completely healthy now against all odds bh!

amother

Cyan

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 2:26 pm

This just happened. My table.fell.on my child's foot. Bh bh bh it was just her toes and not her foot and bh she didn't lose any as the doctors feared. Bh the glass didn't break. Bh she is supposed to have a full recovery but it will be long hard work.

amother

Blonde

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 2:31 pm

My healthy, not married uncle went missing over yom tov. When we realized after yom tov, my father went to his house to check on him. My dad was pretty sure that he was deathly ill or died because he literally disappeared for over 4 days.

He has been to his house hundreds of times and has the key and combination. He tried to open the door for over 2 hours! He tried every key we have (thinking he took the wrong one) and the door wouldn't budge. He called a friend who is connected to hatzolah or shomrim to come help. The friend came over, tried to turn the knob once and it swung open.

Uncle had died and the friend took care of calling hatzolah and the police. He told us after that we didn't get caught up in red tape (which would have postponed releasing the body and levayah) because he knew how to navigate the calls and specifically how to word it so he didn't trip up an investigation - which is standard protocol in this type of situation.

This was the absolutely worst time for my family and even in the midst of it, Hashem sent a malach to hold that door shut so that my dad would call his friend and save us from days of limbo.

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 2:35 pm

I found comfort in the song by Motty Illowitz: B'chol tzar v'tzar.

I also knew that Hashem has a plan for us, whether I understand it or not. It was very painful and isolating, but at least Hashem knew what we're going through and that he had a reason for it.

There were also some things that resulted out of our story, certain life changes and family stuff and in hindsight, I see how this was the path we were meant to take, and I'm grateful for everything.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 3:31 pm

Friend was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She needed to find the best doctor but fast. There were frustrating and unavoidable delays until she got to the doctor. We were besides ourselves because until she got the initial diagnosis there was also a time lag but now she needed to know what she was dealing with. It was the scariest time. The doctor ordered a repeat of a previous scan and hodu laHashem, because there was a change over the two weeks, he diagnosed it differently to a serious but chronic illness.
Had there not been a time lapse, they would have performed brain surgery, opened her skull, see it wasn't what they thought and closed her up and she would have had to go through all that for nothing. Those two weeks were a big bracha.
A friend of mine quoted somebody/somewhere, "Every delay is for the good." I tell myself that when it's hard to wait...

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:03 am

My favorite song and chizuk is: va'afilu bhastura shebesoch hastura...
Even the the darkest times, you can see the hand of Hashem Yisborach. You can see some chesed even during the challenging Moments.

seeker

Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:43 am

I see G-d's hand when He sends me people who are supportive at the times I need them most. It was the darkest when I didn't know who I could reach out to, and it's hashgacha that led me eventually to people who give me strength and say the things I need to hear.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:58 am

When I talk to Hashem from my heart and ask him for guidance and suddenly I feel he heard me, understands me and is helping me if I can't even help myself. When I talk to Him and tell him directly what the root of the problem is I feel He has given me the answer B"H

amother

Mauve

Thu, Jan 24 2019, 4:20 pm

Thanks for all the replies. There are too many to reply to each one , but you each gave helped me. Thank you.