S/o can you have a vacation with kids?

Zehava

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 2:38 pm

Traveling with kids has it’s great moments. You get to spend more family time and focus on them. You get to introduce them to different parts of the world and open up their minds.
The question is would you call it a vacation ?
Am I the only one to think that you can’t have a vacation when there are meltdowns, demands, and little people pulling you in all directions?

amother

Emerald

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 2:47 pm

It’s a change and getaway from day to day life.
It’s relaxing because we can sleep late, have fun with the kids, treat them to nice trips and restaurants, and just live on no strict schedule.

Is it easy? NO! But so worthwhile and a different kind of “vacation”.

flowerpower

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 2:48 pm

I just responded to you on the other post. Now I see you made a spinoff. My kids love new places, hotels, new parks... and are well
Behaved. For me it’s a vacation. I count down when the day finally arrives for us to leave. I wish I’d be able to take them more often!

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 2:51 pm

I would call it a trip, and it can be enjoyable, but it doesn’t fit my definition of vacation. It’s fun, but not relaxing.

One time I went away for 3 nights with my husband, sans kids. No diapers, no tantrums, no nap time (actually, naps for us Wink

) Now THAT was a vacation! I came back extremely relaxed.

Rutabaga

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 2:59 pm

I think it depends on your expectations and how you choose to vacation.

We do end of the summer road trips with our kids. We try to keep everyone's needs in mind so that we all can have fun. We also keep things fluid so we can adjust our plans for the day as necessary. If the kids are really enjoying a stop then we'll stay longer and cut out another planned destination. If we're doing something that only appeals to some of the kids (usually older vs younger) then we'll promise the other ones something to their liking if they behave nicely. We try to balance some cultural stuff with more fun or physical activities. We're laid back with meals and treats but make sure to keep the troops well fed and rested so they don't get cranky.

We're saving the more exotic/expensive trips that require plane tickets for when the kids are all old enough to appreciate it and be more flexible. It's really hard to travel with small children who need naps and early bedtimes and cribs and car seats and strollers and high chairs and other paraphernalia. Unless we're traveling to visit relatives who are set up for small children I'd rather wait until the youngest is at least 5 before venturing to more exciting locations.

InnerMe

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 3:00 pm

Zehava, sounds like people have different definitions for vacations.
For you a vacation, means relaxation, which can be hard to get with kids in tow.
For others a vacation means getting away from the daily grind, experiencing something new, spending quality time with kids etc.

doctorima

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 3:01 pm

We travel with our kids quite extensively, and I also call them trips, not vacations. But it depends on your definition of a vacation. My kids enjoy traveling and are usually quite helpful along the way. A lot of the work I do is "self-inflicted" in the sense that we take long trips and go to places that often don't have kosher food (at least at our standards), but for me it's a labor of love, and I still enjoy it.

I also happen to be more of a doer, and I'm not so sure that I'd enjoy laying on a chair at the beach more. B"H there's a huge world out there with destinations and activities for all types.

thunderstorm

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 4:39 pm

Zehava wrote:

I'm with you. My DH and DS are going to Israel for a week and my DH said that I should come along on the "vacation". That means a 13 yr old and my baby.... not even all my kids. I would rather stay home and go on a smaller vacation with my DH a different time. I enjoy family time but I get strung out from lack of discipline, structure, making sure kids don't ruin or break anything at a hotel, villa or apartment.
I can't stand the kids bickering at bedtime over sleeping arrangements because it's usually not as comfortable or as spacious as our home etc.
I'll gladly go away on day trips. Even a day or two away with the kids but I usually need a vacation after that.
My brother is doing a smart thing. He's going away for two nights with his family and the day after they get back, he and his wife will go away themselves for the extended weekend.

amother

Olive

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 5:46 pm

Zehava wrote:

There are two types of vacations, family vacations and personal vacations. Family vacations are great fun, great bonding experiences & build lasting memories, but are so tiring and exhausting. Personal vacations is something that has me leave all of my duties and responsibilities behind and I get to relax, enjoy and not worry about anyone else's needs.

Both are equally needed.

Zehava

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 6:22 pm

amother wrote:

True that! I guess I just usually don’t think my kids need a vacation 😏 I mean they’re kids. But now that I think about it school can be hard sometimes, all of that structure... I guess I should call the entire summer a family vacation, or kiddie vacation.

dancingqueen

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 6:25 pm

In my world most people vacation with their kids (and really calling it a vacation vs trip is just semantics). I don’t know that many couples who leave their kids for extended vacations. It’s very common for families to all go away over Yeshiva break or during the summer or Pesach etc.

mom!

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 7:49 pm

Depends on age and stage of your kids. We have done it with little ones and it bH worked out amazing! We took a suite even though we could have done with one room so everyone was able to sleep. (Baby couldn't sleep with some others.) We planned our days based on naps and did regular (for the most part) bedtimes. We didn't go out at night. We have the most wonderful memories and pictures!

simba

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 7:56 pm

Traveling with my kids is for them but it is not a vacation for me. I enjoy it because I get to spend time with them and give them experiences.
A vacation for myself doesn’t include any other humans that make noise!

UQT

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 8:28 pm

Just went away with my DH and two year old and left the older ones behind (ages 9-17). Did I come back refreshed? Absolutely. Did my entire trip revolve around my two year old. Of course. Would I do it again? Yes. When the kids are grown we'll take trips on our own. Now it's time to be Mommy. Always.

sky

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 8:47 pm

I guess I haven’t gone on a vacation in approx 7 years.

But seriously I love going away with my kids we do ‘relaxing’ activities liking hiking, bonfires, boating, bbq in the woods, watching a sunset. It is relaxing even though it’s a ton of work (we also normally include a day of amusement parks and I find that more stressful).
But I honestly look back at our trip pictures and remember them so fondly it must have been a vacation.

I’m also the type of person that would lose my mind sting at a pool or beach doing nothing. I don’t find that really relaxing.

amother

Gold

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 9:30 pm

I don't like to leave the kids behind when we travel. DH likes when we go away as a couple. DH and I go away twice a year without the kids. It's a big compromise on my part. The kids and I summer away from DH. It's a big compromise on his part driving up for Shabbos. It can take 6 -7 hours on a Friday.

amother

Olive

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 9:53 pm

Zehava wrote:

Kids generally don't 'need' a vacation, but a family vacation really strengthens the family unit. With kids of all ages, the older ones barely spend much time together with the younger ones. Every one is on a different schedule, doing their own stuff and with today's hectic lifestyle, they barely have a chance to focus attention on one another. We do have Shabbos and Yomim Tovim, but there's just something about leaving all the familiar stuff behind and exploring a new environment. Everyone is together, everyone has left their responsibilities and pressures behind, and we're all experiencing the adventure together as one unit. The kids argue less, they have more than two minute conversations with each other and they work, plan and play together, hand in hand. And of course, we can't leave out the undivided attention that mommy and tatty give them on these days.

It not only builds lasting memories, it builds the family connection.