How to get the message across!!

essie14

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 1:08 am

Your MIL knows you have a nursing baby. I would say, “I really love the nursing time to be a quiet bonding time with me and the baby. My phone is usually not near me when I’m nursing. If I don’t pick up, I’ll see that you called and I’ll call you back when I’m available”

Aylat

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 2:40 am

Chayalle wrote:

I agree, OP, that's really annoying.

Would it be OT to post another pet-peeve of mine? Please don't call my house early in the morning - like before my girls are off to school - unless it's an emergency.

My morning is busy enough without other distractions. No matter how funny your 3 year old is, I'd rather my daughter make her school bus, thank you very much.

I have a relative who simply does not get this. I don't answer, but she does not stop trying - she simply hasn't realized that I don't answer the phone before 9.

Can you just tell her? At a certain stage in my life I told my siblings - I don't answer the phone between 5 and 7 pm because that's supper and bed routine with my kids.

Communication. My 12 yo DD's friend once called at midnight to ask what the homework was for tomorrow. It woke us both up - we thought it was an emergency. I was really annoyed at the lack of consideration. In school the next day DD said to her, you know you woke us up last night and scared us. The friend hadn't even realised it was midnight - her house is still hopping til 2 in the morning. Different family culture. She is a really nice girl and was embarrassed and apologetic.

Regarding the constant calling - the only person in my life who does this is a mentally disabled adult. I wanted to say something to him but haven't managed to yet. So no helpful advice for OP, it is definitely really annoying.

Emotional

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 7:59 am

Cheiny wrote:

Well, I think how you’re handling it is wrong. If you want someone to stop calling you, you should pick up the phone and make your feelings known. Otherwise they will keep trying because they don’t know you’re intentionally not answering,

The way I see it is this:
1) If I'm not home, or otherwise unable to come to the phone, calling a gazillion times will not make me get to the phone any faster.
2) If I'm intentionally not answering the phone, obviously I don't want to talk to you right now. Take the hint. Leave a message, and perhaps I will call you back when I'm in a better mood, when I have some peace and quiet, or when I'm an Indian princess.

zaq

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 8:50 am

amother wrote:

There is no nice way to tell a MIL to stop calling.
Just turn off the ringer if you're too busy to pick up calls.

This. There is no way to educated an adult unless the adult wants to be enlightened. Your mil knows perfectly well she’s being rude.

33055

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 9:08 am

zaq wrote:

This. There is no way to educated an adult unless the adult wants to be enlightened. Your mil knows perfectly well she’s being rude.

I don't think they know it is rude if it is a cultural norm for them. DH always tells me to pick up the phone because they won't stop calling.

I think of it as harassment. They think of it as normal.

Zehava

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 9:19 am

Chayalle wrote:

My father takes the home phone off the hook at night until everyone is up in the morning. You can try doing the same.