Enjoy your vacations, but why in heavens name...

amother

Bronze

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 8:28 pm

...are you asking me how much tuition we pay???
Basically, this is really a vent...
We have family friends that go to Israel at least 1-2 times a year with the whole family, go to hotels for weekends and take vacations galore, drive fancy cars, go to expensive concerts, shows...... Anyway, they asked us how much tuition we are paying, since they send to the same school as us and don't want to"overpay"!!!
Why on earth are they asking us?? We are "poor middle class". We never took a vacation in the over ten years we are married, no cleaning help, frugal, no new shaitel in years...basically barely able to pay for the basic minimums, but BH we don't owe money, so we are not complaining.
But I am fuming that this family had the nerve to ask how much tuition we're paying, when they clearly can afford to pay full tuition ...
Vent over

thunderstorm

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 8:35 pm

amother wrote:

Who said they are asking you because they want a tuition break? Maybe they want to see if the school bills everyone the same or differently etc.
Maybe they want to pay your tuition. Who knows? They may have good intentions. You are deciding and judging them just because they asked a basic question.
If you don't feel comfortable sharing , just say so and move on.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 8:45 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

The husband asked my husband and said he is going to discuss tuition with the administrator , so wants to get an idea of how much to negotiate for... My husband told him our usual answer, "why, do you want to help us pay for it"?

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 9:14 pm

amother wrote:

Well, it's good to hear that the tuition police are not always wrong!

I hope you recognize that they are not at all representative of the vast majority requesting tuition assistance.

I'm not justifying any behavior, but the wealthy are sometimes taken advantage of. The full tuition price they're quoted can be quite higher than it actually is, so they double check with others just to make sure they're not being taken for a ride.

amother

Blue

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 9:33 pm

amother wrote:

I really don't understand this. Do schools not publish tuition?

amother

Aqua

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 10:14 pm

I've seen time and again that people have no problem spending on unnecessary luxuries & live a glam life, but when it comes to tuition they ask for a break. It's a shame. Hashem should help we should always be able to afford full tuition. To me it's more important than any luxuries and vacations.

amother

Blue

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 10:21 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Many schools do not publish tuition. These schools are generally more poorly run than schools that are upfront.

Well as distasteful as I think it is to 'ask around' regarding tuition... if a school has zero transparency - they really are setting up parents to be j*rks.

amother

Bisque

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 10:23 pm

amother wrote:

Oh no, PLEASE let's not bring this up again! Remember that most people who have "unnecessary luxuries" and are living a "glam life" are in reality not diverting all that much from tuition. When taking the entire lifestyle into perspective, the family who lives in an apartment too small for them but takes credit card point-funded Florida trips is not necessarily cheating the system, and the family living on cheap food and baking their own challah might take some of their food savings and pay for household help, especially if the mother has some ADD tendencies which affect her ability to manage the home.

It is a rare occurrence to have what OP mentioned, someone who is legitimately living it up and still planning to ask for a break.

ectomorph

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 10:24 pm

amother wrote:

Well as distasteful as I think it is to 'ask around' regarding tuition... if a school has zero transparency - they really are setting up parents to be j*rks.

agreed. If given the choice I would only send to a school with the guts to publish a uniform tuition (not " how much can we get them to pay")

ectomorph

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 10:29 pm

amother wrote:

Amother bisque, unfortunately it's not such a rare occurrence. Somehow when it comes to tuition, they suddenly can't afford full tuition.

It really depends what full tuition means

in some schools they charge much more to rich people and it could be that they are trying to avoid that

amother

Ecru

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 10:32 pm

amother wrote:

It is a rare occurrence to have what OP mentioned, someone who is legitimately living it up and still planning to ask for a break.

I don't think that anyone actually thinks they're wealthy. Even the wealthy don't necessarily feel they have spare cash ... wealth is a relative term. What do you consider wealthy - an income of $200,000? $500,000? More? I do, but I'm sure those people would explain why they're not really wealthy and all their assets are tied up and the cost of living is very expensive...

amother

Bronze

Mon, Jan 21 2019, 10:34 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Many schools do not publish tuition. These schools are generally more poorly run than schools that are upfront.

OP here. The school I send to has a set tuition amount, they send it every year before we need to register for the following year.

mig100

Tue, Jan 22 2019, 12:34 am

Putting our fav "Getting tuition breaks and spending on luxuries" debate aside for a minute

Am I the only ones that thinks their question is plain rude and nosy

Last edited by mig100 on Tue, Jan 22 2019, 12:08 pm; edited 1 time in total