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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Girl skipping third grade - experience or thoughts?



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amother
Rose


 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 9:37 pm
Hi, my daughter will be switching schools next year and we are thinking of having her skip a grade. We held her back in preschool by choice, because I did not want her to be the youngest. Well now she is the oldest and is often bored in school, particularly in the afternoon. The school is aware and agrees that she is bright. We have not skipped her until now, mainly for the social aspect. Although she is mature and people always assume she is older then she is, I did not want to separate her from her friends. With a switch to a new school, I'm wondering if this would be a good time. Or let her continue being the oldest and having an easy time academically in school. Wondering if anyone has skipped a grade or had their child skip a grade and what their experience was.

Thanks!!
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judithc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 9:46 pm
Third grade is a pretty crucial grade for learning...multiplication could be hard for children to learn on their own.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 9:48 pm
judithc wrote:
Third grade is a pretty crucial grade for learning...multiplication could be hard for children to learn on their own.


Math is actually one of the areas that she excels in and is particularly bored in class. I have to find out if she knows all of her multiplication facts. That's a good point. Thank you.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 9:51 pm
Also, IME there is a giant social jump in 4th grade. I would want to know that she is very socially on the ball before doing so. I would also be careful about Rashi skills, which often really build at this age. Also, some kids who are bored will always be bored in a regular school. Does the new school offer any enrichment?
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 9:55 pm
I would think that with the transition to a new school you wouldn't want to add additional stress? While she may be bored where she is now, it will entail a lot of extra learning to catch her up to grade level.

Beyond that, observe girls who are a grade ahead of her now. Look at their social skills, the way they interact and play with each other. Look at how they handle different situations emotionally. Is she at that level now? If not, it will not come quickly. She may close the gap, she may always lag a bit.

Disclaimer: I did actually skip a child, though a younger one. The teachers and administration unanimously felt that he belonged one grade ahead both socially and academically. He was and still is considered a very bright, mature child. It's now a few years down the road, and while I believe we made the right decision, he doesn't have the social confidence that many boys in his class do. Some of that is personality, but I do think some of it can also be attributed to adjusting to a higher level of socializing and feeling somewhat inferior based on age. I think that would only be magnified when you're starting with an older child.
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judithc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 10:01 pm
Just another thought, is she emotionally ready for more learning, less play?
One of my brothers was pushed up a grade by the schools insistence, and he wasn't ready to sit for serious learning like the rest of the class. It took him a few years to adjust all the way.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 10:11 pm
I wouldn't do it.

Two of my friends had negative experiences while both were encouraged by the principal and staff to skip.

One of those who skipped is now a mother of a large family. She did great socially and academically in the lower grade. When she skipped, she still seemed to be doing well. At least that's how it looked. She told me years later that it had a terrible lasting effect on her. Part of it is that she lost lots of confidence. She would never do this to her child.

The other is a friend of mine who had her daughter skip a grade because the teachers and principal felt she must.. Well, once she skipped, she didn't do well socially and is now an adult with very low confidence and no friends.

Let your daughter have it easy in school. Life has enough hardships as is.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 10:21 pm
Second grade is just review of first grade. Third grade has many new things they learn that year. I remember in third grade we learned multiplication, writing in script letters, shemonah esrah.
4th grade was a huge shift. We were officially big girls.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 10:23 pm
Here is appropriate math for a third grader:

• Focuses on place value and order to one hundred thousand, and teaches multi-digit addition and subtraction.
• Develops mastery of multiplication and division tables one to 12, and long division with single digit divisors.
• Focuses on application of word problems (four operations) using model drawing techniques, time, and fractions.
• Provides experience in geometry, measurement, mental math, four digit by one digit multiplication, area and perimeter, and probability.
• Emphasizes problem solving and development of critical thinking skills.
• Focuses on place value and order to one hundred million, rounding and estimation, and three-place multiplication and division using one digit divisors and multiple dividends.
• Teaches averaging, factors and multiples, equal fractions and comparison, addition and subtraction of fractions, the four operations with decimals, and geometry.
• Develops algebra readiness, adding, subtracting, and converting measurement, graphing, simple application of ratio, and probability and statistics.
• Integrates mental math exercises and word problems with multiple steps.
• Emphasizes problem solving techniques using model drawing strategies.

Study Skills are also important
• Third Grade students begin regular use of the dictionary and thesaurus. In addition, students are introduced to note taking skills, highlighting research from reference books, and skimming for information.

P.S. you could always ask for some extra work and hire a tutor for 3-4 hours over the summer daily.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 10:27 pm
If skipping a grade is a must, than skip 2nd or 5th grade. 3rd grade is a very crucial year, they learn alot of new things. It's a big jump from 2nd to 4th grade, you can't know if she'll struggle. Rather her be bored for a bit than take the chance of her struggling in school.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Jan 22 2019, 11:18 pm
It happens to be I teach 3rd grade. Seeing the title of the post, my automatic thought was no.
Having read the details, I hear it more. She was held back in preschool so is the right age for 4th grade. She's switching to a new school, so any "catching up" she has to do will be atteibuted to the switch and the teachers will be accommodating (be prepared to help her catch up a bit at home too, though most 3rd grade skills are reviews in 4 th grade).
She'll anyway have to make new friends and can fit into the fourth grade and adjust her social behavior as neccessary.
Add all that to the fact that this is something you've been considering for a while and I'd say you have a pretty solid case.
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good times




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:14 pm
We did it when we moved. Same circumstances. My child caught up by sukkos time and it was really good for her. It's nice for kids to be with the same age kids. Think bas mitzvah ( this was a concern for my daughter). She didn't want to be bas mitzvah Ed so much earlier than the other girls. I've never regretted holding her back or skipping her back up. Go for it!
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 3:44 pm
Second grade in no way is just review! and multiplication is earlier than third grade.

The earlier the better. Still my dd11 skipped 5th grade bh.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 4:02 pm
I think a lot of executive functioning skills are taught in 3rd grade which is why many kids who are able to coast up until that point really find that to be a hard year. The psychologist who did my sons eval actually told me that they get a large number of referrals in 3rd grade because the work gets much harder and the social gap starts to widen so kids who got by until then no longer can.

I have an exceptionally bright child who also struggles a lot socially. We were looking at taking him out of his school for a few years and the menahel told me not to worry that he will fall behind that he could skip from 1st to 4th and hold up well. I was pretty shocked that he believed that.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 4:59 pm
I skipped third grade and it was great for me!
There are many kids that are very smart but if you skip them they do not do well socially. It is better for a kid to be bored then to be socially awkward or quiet.
She needs to be really bored in class not just one of the smartest kids in the class.
She needs to be way more mature then the rest of the kids in the class. If she is both those things then you can start thinking about it. If she will need a tutor to help her catch up to the grade level for more than 2 weeks it is not worth it. If she usually gravitates to kids that are much older than her and they like her too, then think about it.
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 9:12 pm
I had my son skip second when we moved schools and it was definitely the best decision for him. We did have him evaluated first to make sure he would succeed in all areas.

However, like other posters, I see a big difference between second and third. I've had quite a few kids go through second grade and I feel like it's reinforcing first and not many new skills are taught. Third is already more of a new type of school experience with more tests and individual effort put into things and less hand holding by teachers to prepare them for fourth where it starts getting a little more intense (basic essays)...I would suggest having your daughter evaluated by the school she will be switching into to make sure they are in agreement with how she would align with the class and curriculum going into 4th next year. If they see that she could catch up easily, by all means, go ahead. It really may be in her best interest (and I'm not a strong proponent for skipping but in certain circumstances it makes sense.)
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Wed, Jan 23 2019, 9:46 pm
My daughter skipped the third grade because in the 2nd grade, the curriculum was beneath her as it was dumbed down for the rest of the class. The class above her had a number of very bright girls. The summer before she skipped, I taught her the math she would have learned in the 3rd grade. She was already way ahead in reading and creative writing. I taught her Rashi letters and how to read Rashi and we learned the 3 parshiot learned in the 3rd grade. We also learned some more diduk and some geography, but as it turns out, we did too much and she knew more than her classmates in these areas. Socially it was a little difficult in the beginning because the class was very small. But she soon made a couple of very good friends and several other friends as well.
BTW, my son skipped the fourth grade. This was more for social reasons as several boys in his class were mean to him and making life difficult. He excelled in middle school, did well in high school and is now doing well in college, b'li ayin hara.
Since she is switching schools, I think it is easier to skip. But first find out the curriculum of the fourth grade. You both need to decide if she wants to spend time learning in the summer to cover gaps.
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ggdm




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 25 2019, 8:22 am
I skipped a class, but I was much older. It was one of the best decisions in my life. I studied during summer and did not miss much. I was still bored in class and a good student afterwards. Socially I was not happy in my old class and skipping did not change that. I skipped at the insistence of a teacher, and all other teachers were in agreement. So I would suggest getting the teacher's opinions, because they know your child. Ultimately no one can know how it wil turn out.
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SmileNow




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 25 2019, 9:50 am
My grandmother, a veteran teacher, always said that if a students needs to skip a grade, 3rd is the best to skip. If knowledge is on par, going into 4th can be the smoothest transition, as the kids are young enough that she can lay mini-catch up on the little social/academic differences, while still be given the breathing space to be a kid. easiest to acclimate.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jan 25 2019, 11:35 am
mha3484 wrote:
I think a lot of executive functioning skills are taught in 3rd grade which is why many kids who are able to coast up until that point really find that to be a hard year. The psychologist who did my sons eval actually told me that they get a large number of referrals in 3rd grade because the work gets much harder and the social gap starts to widen so kids who got by until then no longer can.

This was my thought.
However, because you are switching schools and not just grades, I would ask for a closer look at the behavioral expectations of both second and third grade in the new school and see how they compare to each other and to the current school.
If your kid is bright then you can catch them up on the academics without too much consequence. But if the new school expects a high level of Independence in 4th graders then you'll have a much harder shift. Some schools I've worked in want their 4th graders to function like middle schoolers which a second grader wouldn't be ready for, while other schools run 4th grade not that much differently than 3rd with the teacher still providing a lot of support. See if you can go for an observation, interview, and maybe even tryout day for the kid at the new school.
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