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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Aspergers Syndrome Diagnosis in Teens



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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 1:01 pm
I'm beginning to suspect that my teenagers interesting and unique behavior that's been going on for years may be a form of ASD. Where do I begin the testing process? What type of doctor do we see? Who provides a diagnosis? Does anyone with knowledge or experience with this know what I have to do first?
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amother
Blush


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 1:18 pm
Location?
Maybe someone can recommend a psychologist for you.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 1:24 pm
Monsey area
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 1:41 pm
I have a brother on the ASD spectrum and I believe he was diagnosed by a neurologist.

ETA: Yedei Chessed in Monsey may be able to give you some referrals.
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amother
Red


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 1:45 pm
A neurologist can give a diagnosis, but IME they are less likely to spend time understanding the bigger picture and explaining each aspect to you. A neuropsychological evaluation, done by a clinical psychologist, would probably be more well rounded and informative. Especially if he's gotten this far without a diagnosis, and sometimes one disorder masquerades as a totally different one.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 2:24 pm
So it's one person/professional making the diagnosis? He doesn't get evaluated by multiple professionals who work collectively on a diagnosis?
I was told all his life was that he lacked social skills, doesn't communicate and is "unique". (We knew that) As he gets older more and more things are bothering me that something is not right. Lately he doesn't make much eye contact and if he does he stares blankly. He doesn't have empathy and that became apparent after I had my last baby. He didn't want to touch it , hold it for months. Now when he does hold the baby, it's awkwardly and he doesn't care if she cries.
He's obsessed with two subjects in life . Would rather watch his peers play as opposed to play along . He was always content in doing that.
When he was younger the menahel told me he is very temimusdig. He meant that he took things literally and wouldn't "get" an expression.
At the latest PTA the rebbes and Rosh yeshiva said they don't know how well he is doing because he doesn't talk or converse with them. He does work for the yeshiva and they pay him, but it's just him working alone without having to talk to anyone. When a doctor asks him a question he sits awkwardly , stares and doesn't answer .... there's a whole bunch of other things and it suddenly started all clicking that maybe he has Aspergers or something similar. I am very not familiar with how evaluations work etc. But I want to get to the bottom of it.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 2:32 pm
Your description does sound like HFA.

You might want to talk to parents of kids with ASD and hear their diagnostic referral suggestions.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 2:36 pm
So I do think there are variations among those with ASD...For example, my brother is very excited with every new baby born to the family. He loves coming to see and hold the baby, but often the baby will cry (possibly because of how he's holding, and because he doesn't know to coo and rock the baby) so he will quickly give the baby back.

But overall, your description does sound like your son could be on the spectrum. It's a spectrum, that's why there are variations and differences.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 4:02 pm
I have some questions for you to think about?

Why do you want a diagnosis? Will it give you access to therapies that you are not able to get at the moment?

How do you think he will react to the diagnosis if he gets one?

Just putting it out there for you, you don't have to answer here. One of my kids was diagnosed at age 12. I am glad that it got us help we needed for him, but he himself has taken the shift in label from "genius" to disabled very hard.

I think the way that it is called a disorder is very very wrong.

You son is unique and has a unique tafkid in this world. Just the way he is. Never ever lose sight of this.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 4:55 pm
amother wrote:
I have some questions for you to think about?

Why do you want a diagnosis? Will it give you access to therapies that you are not able to get at the moment?

How do you think he will react to the diagnosis if he gets one?

Just putting it out there for you, you don't have to answer here. One of my kids was diagnosed at age 12. I am glad that it got us help we needed for him, but he himself has taken the shift in label from "genius" to disabled very hard.

I think the way that it is called a disorder is very very wrong.

You son is unique and has a unique tafkid in this world. Just the way he is. Never ever lose sight of this.

I think there has been a lot of anger and frusteration from him and to be honest blame by DH and I . I want to see if what appears to be as chutzpah is really something he can't help. When we are at the Shabbos table and he's talking about something that grosses everyone out and we tell him to stop, and he doesn't , it may be because he can't.
I don't want to label him or cause him to feel worse about himself . But I'm actually concerned that with the type of behavior he exhibits, there is a big chance he won't be able to marry. ( he already told me he wants to live alone and not be married).
If there is nothing to do for it then I maybe shouldn't find out. He has never been to any sort of therapy. So if there isn't a therapy that could help then maybe you are right. But what do other people do? I see so many women on Imamother complaining about miserable lives with DHs with Aspergers. I would never want to cause pain like that to another.
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hanna2010




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 5:08 pm
I have some thoughts I can share. Please pm me
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amother
Blush


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 5:10 pm
amother wrote:
I think there has been a lot of anger and frusteration from him and to be honest blame by DH and I . I want to see if what appears to be as chutzpah is really something he can't help. When we are at the Shabbos table and he's talking about something that grosses everyone out and we tell him to stop, and he doesn't , it may be because he can't.
I don't want to label him or cause him to feel worse about himself . But I'm actually concerned that with the type of behavior he exhibits, there is a big chance he won't be able to marry. ( he already told me he wants to live alone and not be married).
If there is nothing to do for it then I maybe shouldn't find out. He has never been to any sort of therapy. So if there isn't a therapy that could help then maybe you are right. But what do other people do? I see so many women on Imamother complaining about miserable lives with DHs with Aspergers. I would never want to cause pain like that to another.


OP, you should definitely get a diagnosis, but be aware that your son may be resistant to therapy at this age.
Also, the behavior you’re describing could also be due to depression.
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amother
Red


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 5:16 pm
There is plenty of therapy available that can help him learn these skills. The question is whether or not he will be open to learning at this point, but a diagnosis is a very good first step in terms of everyone gaining a better understanding of different behaviors.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Jan 31 2019, 5:40 pm
A quick remainder that had you been "supposed"to get a diagnosis earlier, you would have got one. So don't stress about that aspect.
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